My Two Alphas

Endless Sea

     When we went back inside, everyone was quiet. Sean squeezed my hand before letting go, and it felt good. The somber look on Josh’s face made me feel bad. He looked almost defeated.

“Let him tell them. It will look better that he is giving you a choice. He didn’t have to,” My wolf said.

 I knew she was right. I may not understand everything yet, but I knew that Sean was more powerful than Josh and his Father. I nodded at Sean, and he seemed to understand I wanted him to break the news. I sat down next to my mother and father as he told everyone what we have decided. Most seemed happy with that.

“During this time, there will be no s*x or mating. You will not mark her pup unless she chooses you,” Sean said to Josh.

“She is engaged to me and loves me. That clearly shows her decision,” Josh scoffed.

“He is arrogant, and his choices could kill his true mate. There is a chance she could die if he mates you,” My wolf said.

I gasped. That was awful and something I didn’t know.

“Josh, what about your true mate? She could die!” I blurted out.

“She would only die if I met her before mating you, and my wolf wants you too, which means he is not openly calling to another mate. Even if we meet, she could survive if done right. She could get a second mate,” Josh said as he moved closer to me. There was a pleading look in his eyes, and it hurt me.

“He is correct. As Alphas, it allows us to take a mate other than our true mates in some circumstances. It’s usually in cases where you have not met your mate, and too much time has passed, but if you wanted, he could mate with you,” Sean said as he looked into my eyes.

I knew he was trying to see if I had already changed my mind. If indeed, I had chosen Josh without giving him a fair chance. There was a side of me that wanted to do just that, but somehow deep down, I knew that something connected me to Sean and needed to understand more of that before I could decide.

“Laney, tell him we are engaged, I want to announce it tonight to the pack,” Josh pleaded.

“Your engagement is off, pup,” Sean said, taking my silence as his answer. 

“Dammit Laney, we have been together for a while now, and you let him walk in and f**k that up?” Josh yelled at me.

“I suggest you lower your tone unless you want my fist in your mouth, pup!” Sean bitterly said.

I knew if I didn’t do something quick, they would only end up fighting. Truthfully, I didn’t know how much longer I could keep Josh safe if he kept pushing him. I understood what Josh felt like. I felt worse. I know I love Josh, but something inside just says it is the right thing to do.

“I just found out in the last twenty-four hours that I am a werewolf, and I am supposedly going to be a Luna, which means many people’s lives will depend upon me someday. Let’s not forget my entire family, and probably half this town are werewolves,” I shouted at Josh.

“I’m sorry, and I know you have just learned so much. I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but they all wanted to wait. I just don’t see what that has to do with us. We can get through this together. I love you, Laney, you know that,” Josh said.

“Josh, let’s just go somewhere and talk,” I said

“No, Laney, I just need to understand from you what is going on here,” He said.

I didn’t want to do this in front of everyone. I was going to give him back the ring. But he refused to talk alone with me. The tears were forming behind my eyes, and I knew soon I could not stop them from falling.

“My daughter is doing what is right. If you sat down and listened, you would understand that,” My father said.

Sean made a move towards me, but I shook my head no. I knew he wanted to comfort me, but I needed him to keep his distance for now. Everyone got up and left the room, leaving me alone with Josh. I was thankful since he didn’t want to talk alone that they decided for him.

“Josh, I have not chosen him over you. I have, however, decided I would get to know him. I know we’ve been together a long time and start our lives together, but so much has changed overnight. I felt a connection to him and need to understand what that is. If I had to decide right now, it would have been you, but I cannot do that. Please understand that my wolf and I are now a part of each other. I am here as much as she is me. I know I have not had her there all along, but I need to take her advice at least and give her a chance,” I said.

“So, it’s your wolf that wants this?” He asked me.

“Mostly yes, I am confused by it all, and still need time to process what all being a werewolf means, but I felt this is the right decision. I have agreed to get to know Sean and...” I began again.

“I understand your wolf’s absence, and I am sure she wants her true mate. I just don’t want to lose you. My wolf says if you choose me, she will accept us. She has talked to him and helped us to understand more. I guess that is all I can hope for right now,” Josh said.

“Yes, my wolf will accept whatever decision I make. If I made one now, I just feel it would not be fair to her. She is willing to give you a chance; then I should give what she wants a chance. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know I will hurt one of you. I’m not Sean’s, I still love you, but I cannot accept your ring until I’m sure,” I said as I handed him back the diamond ring.

I knew tears were falling, and it made me feel vulnerable. I said what I needed to say, and I went up to my room. I have never really cried in front of anyone besides my parents, and I had to escape before Josh could see that I was crying. I went to the bathroom, locked the door, sat on the floor, and let it all out. I knew it would only get worse.

“Laney, wake up,” I heard a voice whisper.

 I opened my eyes and looked around. I was on my bathroom floor. What was I doing here? Suddenly the events from earlier played in my head, and I felt like crying again. Sean pulled me up. I distinctly remember locking the bathroom door, and wonder how he even got in. The door was still on the hinges, so he didn’t break it.

“How did you get in?” I asked him.

“I picked the lock. I came to check on you after everyone left, and you didn’t respond. It was better than breaking it. If I wasn’t afraid of hurting you, I would have kicked down the door,” He laughed.

I sat down on my bed, and he began digging through my dresser drawers, pulling out pajamas, and examining them. He would put some in a pile and others back in the drawer. He then went to my bathroom, and I heard the water running. He came back out of the bathroom a minute later.

“Which one would you like, Monkeys or Family guy?” He asked as he held up my pajama pants to me.

“Family guy,” I answered. He tossed them on the bed to me and went back to the bathroom again. I would not change while he was anywhere near my room. He came and picked me up and carried me to the bathroom.

“I ran you a bath; I will wait out here for you to get in,” He said.

“Thank you,” I said as he went out and shut the door. 

My hair was a mess from lying on the bathroom floor and crying. I’m embarrassed he saw me like this. The water looked inviting. I could see the steam roll off the water. I stepped inside, relishing the feel of the heat on my skin. As I sat back in the tub, I finally felt relaxed for the first time all day. I heard a knock on the door.

“Laney, close the curtain,” Sean said.

I hesitated. I didn’t exactly feel right being naked in the same room as him. Even with the curtain closed.

“Laney, I have no intentions of peeking through the curtain, I only need to talk to you, and I prefer it to be private,” He said again.

“Fine, but if you so much as touch the curtain, our deal is off,” I hollered back.

He came in after a few seconds. “Thanks. It’s just technically they may be able to hear from the room, but since their bedroom is too far away from the bathroom, it is more private. We have good hearing, you know,” He said.

I wondered if that was why I could always hear them downstairs. I couldn’t always make out the words, but usually could.

“So you wanted to talk. I want to ask a few questions,” I said.

“I am always here anytime you have questions or just want to talk,” Sean said.

“Why did you come here?” I asked him.

I realized I still didn’t know why my parents invited him. The thought of him sitting just right on the other side of the curtain was exhilarating. I’m definitely attracted to him, but love was another thing. Still, I admit I never let Josh sit with me while I bathed. Before I could object to it, though, he answered me.

“Your father asked me to be present in case you didn’t get your wolf. He suspected for a while now that Josh was not your mate. As your eighteenth Birthday neared, your wolf showed no signs of returning. She would have sensed your mate, and no matter her reason for leaving, she would have come back to you then,” Sean said.

“What if my Wolf never came back?” I asked.

“Well, as Head Alpha of the State, I have the Power to bite you. My bite would have made your wolf submit to me and obey. There was always the choice to let your wolf completely die if he thought that was best.” Sean answered me.

I gasped. It sounded so final and so cruel.

“It was really the choice of your wolf, and she didn’t have long to make it. Had your wolf had been present all these years, it would have been no big deal if you didn’t get your mate yet. It is rare your wolf left as long as she did, and usually, in those cases, it is because the mate has died, or some traumatic event, in which your wolf may die. If the human side can mentally live, then it is for the best. In your case, you were more connected to your human side. You would have survived without it just fine,” Sean explained.

“So if someone loses their mate, their wolf could leave them?” I asked.

“Yes, though most times they don’t. They just are not as active as before. It depends on many things, strength, position and wolf, and the bond between the human and wolf’s sides. When one loses its mate to death, they become withdrawn. When the two give each other strength, they can overcome it, though it may never be the same. However, unmated wolf, who loses their mate, is easier to deal with things, and generally, mate with someone else in time,” He said.

“That’s sad. I didn’t realize the bond was that powerful,” I said.

“You would not have had to worry when your father called me. I agreed to bring your wolf back if need be. Many Alphas hesitate to do it unless they are sure because it would have created a bond between us. You would no longer be living here with your pack, as you and your wolf would only submit to me,” Sean said.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Had I bitten you, it would mean you now answer to me, you would be forever indebted to me, and I would commit to your protection. It is not like the mating bond, but it is powerful. The best way I can describe it is you would become a part of my pack, and I would essentially adopt you as If you were my child. But when I got here, I found that you were my mate,” Sean said.

The thought of me becoming his child made me laugh. I just couldn’t picture it. Sure he was a few years older than me but not old enough to look like my father.

“What’s so funny?” he asked me.

“I was just thinking you don’t even look old enough to be my father. Why would you bind yourself to me like that if you didn’t even know me?” I asked.

“I knew you. The day they attacked you, I was there as well. They already told you my father saved you, but what they didn’t tell you is, I tried to. It got us both hurt, though, and my father thankfully found us,” He said sadly.

“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry,” I said.

“Why don’t you finish up in here and we can talk when you’re done,” He said.

Before I could reply, he left as I heard the door shut behind him. I wanted to know more. I could tell he was holding something back from me, but what? I stood up, draining out the water, and turned on the shower. I hope he’s still there when I finish.

He was sitting on my bed, looking at the picture of Josh and me. I wished he had not seen it. It was our Homecoming picture. It was a great picture, and we looked really happy.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I moved the picture to the side.

“Don’t be. You had a life before I got here, and I cannot be mad about that. No matter how hard it is for me, I am glad we are doing it this way. You are such an amazing girl. You just had your entire world turned upside down, and you dealt with it better than I ever could have,” He said as I sat down next to him on the bed.

“I had a breakdown on my bathroom floor, and you found me there,” I stated.

“If you somehow don’t manage to fall in love with me, I will be the one on the bathroom floor having a breakdown,” He said teasingly.

I wanted to ask him more about the accident and what happened, but he seemed happy right now. I didn’t want to ruin it. The tone of his voice when he was talking earlier told me it was a challenging subject. It was for me too, but I somehow didn’t remember it. I don’t know why everyone is calling it an accident. It was an attack. I couldn’t understand how someone could be so cruel even to harm innocent children.

“Tomorrow is your Pack Initiation. They had wanted to do it tonight at the bonfire, but I refused. You had a long enough day already,” He said.

I had forgotten about the bonfire. I had promised Rain I would try to come back. I guess it was too late for that now. I reached over and grabbed a hair tie. If I slept with it loose, it sometimes got tangled.

“What do you mean sworn in?” I asked.

“Technically, you are a part of this pack as you were born into it, but you need to do the ceremony, which means you accept that. Once the ceremony is complete, you will be able to mind link any of the pack members. The Alpha will communicate with you whenever he needs to. It’s possible to block out others, but you would just need some practice,” He said.

“You mean as my wolf does?” I asked, confused.

“Yes. It would be private and through the mind. It can be kind of overwhelming at first. There is also the chance it makes you feel a bit dizzy or weak at first. It's hard telling since you are my mate, you should be able to do it no problem, but the whole absent wolf thing may come into play. You're not used to it all yet,” He explained.

“What does my being your mate have to do with it?” I asked him curiously.

“You are my mate, and therefore one of the most powerful Luna’s in the world, and the most powerful in this State. As my Luna, you can connect to every pack in this State. Only a select few members of each pack could communicate with us. So essentially, mentally, you are strong enough to handle it, ” He explained.

I wasn’t sure I understood all it meant to be a Luna but felt it was a conversation for another day. I wasn’t even sure if I would be his Luna or Josh’s.

 I could tell something else was on his mind. I scooted closer to him and placed my arm on his shoulder. His entire body went rigid, and I jumped back. I wasn’t expecting that. Maybe he didn’t want me to touch him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” I tried to say

“Laney, you did nothing wrong. It’s just you do not understand what a single little touch like that can do to me.” He said as he grabbed my hand, sending tingles up my arm. I shivered at his touch, and he pulled me to him and placed me on his lap, making my entire body feel on fire. I was face to face with him, and his eyes were like the endless Sea with no end in sight.