Blood-Stained Moon

Of all the firsts

He's mine, I want him, I need to smell him. MINE MINE MINE

The chanting is almost unbearable, wolfy is clawing with all her might to take over, fighting for control. I grip the table so hard it feels like putty in my hand- I swear my hand prints will be ingrained

NO, nonononononononono I do Not want this. I can't do this, not now, not him I-

A hot hand grabs mine prying my attention away, I look down to see it's Ryans, following his arm up I meet his concerned look, "You okay babe?" I mutter something about hunger and nerves to shoo him off but he doesn't look convinced, he makes some sound familiar to uh huh and side glances at the direction my eye line came from. Sh*t, he cannot know, nobody can know. I become aware that the table has fallen silent, luckily everyone is too fixated on the head table to have noticed, well everyone except Ryan of course, my heart melts a little for him. He has been there since day one, never judging and always has an open ear and arms for me. I pluck up the courage to look back at the head table with a few steadying breaths to compose myself. My heart is beating like a drum inside my chest, sweat is threatening to spill on my forehead, if I don't calm soon everyone will know. Alpha Peterson is hunched over his table, his hands balled in tight fists, his eyes are glazed over, in a far off daze. Pure rage flitters across his face momentarily before he too composes himself.

F*ck f*ck he knows, he can smell me. He can't know it's me, I want to be swallowed up by the ground please anything I'll take a vampire right now

The alphas deep and booming voice echoes around the hall "Welcome Silver clan, to our halls. My sincerest apologies for yesterday, a meeting is never an excuse to ignore our guests no matter the importance. I hope you have settled in well to your new lodgings and I trust they meet your standards" He pauses for a moment and his eyes glaze over again, he must be communicating with his pack, I wonder why. "I would also like to formally apologise to anyone who was unaware of the dissolution of the Silver clan. It is unavoidable and yet sad. Let me assure you our doors are always welcome to you, and anyone who does not agree with this I give you one further chance to leave." I sweep the room to nose if anyone moves in their chair. Nobody is daring to move a muscle, at so rigidly like statues, some silver members have their mouths agape.The room is deadly silent for a few seconds before the alpha continues "Now on to the matter at hand. Roan and I have decided to host a formal initiation ceremony in 2 nights time to welcome you all under the Emerald clan, until then Roan will remain your acting Alpha but he will be under my orders. During the ceremony Roan will officially renounce his Alpha title and the Silver Clan to become my new Beta under the witness of the elder council. The ceremony begins at 10pm in the courtyard underneath the full moon. Formal dressing and everyone's participation is required. Until then good morning and enjoy the breakfast!" He raises his glass to the room and seats himself back down, then claps at the Omegas standing with the food trolleys at the back. When the focus in the room shifts to food his eyes meet mine again, I squirm self consciously in my seat and turn around. Before long a trolley stops at our table, the serving omega dishes a scoop of porridge to a bowl, a scoop of fruit to another and hands both bowls to each person, then sets down a tub of cereal, jug of milk, 6 bowls and 6 buns on a plate. Ryan grabs a bun the second it touches down and groans "Mmmmmm, I do make a good pastry" winking at a scowling Grace. "Pig" she mutters under her breath before Leon hands her a bun, holding his in his mouth- earning an even bigger scowl back.

Ryan hands me a bun, along with my porridge bowl and fruit, I look down uneasily, the grey slop that would usually delight my senses turns my stomach. But I can't waste the food. I begin to shovel it in and force it down. At least the semi-solid mixture didn't give much of a fight. I try to keep my head down as I start on the fruit next, by this point my stomach is starting to protest. 3 pieces in I stifle a gag and set it down. I then offer up my bun to the first taker, under the guise that I 'couldn't stand to see another bun today'. Ryan practically hurls himself across to snatch the bun before Leon can grasp it, causing chuckles from tables beside us. "Greedy f*cker" I giggle. He responds by chewing loudly making exaggerated mmm noises, staring me dead in the eye. If he didn't stop soon, I was going to slap him upside the head. I put on my 'keep going see what happens' face- to which Ryan immediately puts his hands up in defense and stops. I just want to leave now, all I can smell is the Alpha, it's overwhelming, and I don't know how to distract myself. The panic is rising, bubbling below the surface threatening to erupt. My heart is pounding so loudly I am sure at least three of the tables around me could hear it. Deep breaths, deep breaths. "Babe, you sure you're okay? I think someone's telling lies, your hearts so loud I can't concentrate on any chicks round here, you're cramping my style" Ryan nudges me and hushed in a low tone. "Just nerves, it's a lot today already Ry, I'll be fine, pinky promise" I whisper back. I hate lying to Ryan, but right now I dont want to even tell myself let alone anyone else. If I keep it inside it doesn't have to become true. I dont want a mate, I don't deserve a mate like an Alpha, and an Alopha certainly doesn't want a lowly Omega maid for a mate. I was heading towards a rejection. Wolfy hears my fears and whimpers in response, would she handle a rejection? Gods why, why have they done this to me.

After watching the clock tick for what seemed like hours, the head table excuses itself, signalling the end of breakfast, I let go of the breath I've been subconsciously holding as the smell starts to dissipate. I wish I could run from the hall and barricade myself in my room for the day but I have to return to work. As soon as the last of the members left the hall, all kitchen omega get up and begins to empty the table dishes onto the trolleys and so we get up and copy. I stand and the room starts to sway a little, I have to steady myself for a second, my heart is still beating a mile a minute and I'm working up a sweat. Once the room stops spinning I grab my dishes and balance them on the trolley, looking around the omegas are all going in the direction of the kitchen again, I find Ryan and stick to him like glue, glancing round I no longer see Grace or Leon, or even Amal. They must have left for their duties already. We make sure to keep up with the steady trail of omegas through the swinging door, but instead of going to the kitchen we go to the room opposite to the hall. I gasp, it's almost as long as a corridor and twice as wide, all the trolleys are pushed against each other in the middle like before but either side of the room are large sinks, drying racks and large shelves dotted with clean stacked dishes. The chef barks orders "Three to a station, one to fill sink with dishes, one to wash and one to dry and stack. Newcomers find an empty space and get to work, I want this done in half an hour". Then he waddles over to the exit. The sign of a good chef is always how big their belly is I think to myself. Ryan and I search for an empty space, there is a sink free, one quick look around to double check nobody else has claimed and we head over. I begin to feel worse and worse as we walk. I'm mentally counting steps and analysing the room to distract from my increasing discomfort, but I just can't focus. I have never felt like this before, I'm sweating patches on my clothes, I feel so nauseous I could vomit and the room keeps moving. I feel so dizzy. I stand and grip the sink for support, Ryan grabs a cloth and stands ready to dry. Dishes are plonked beside me, I move my head slowly, I vaguely register Claire's bowed head and thick brown bangs. I start adding dishes to the sink to soak and search around in the water for a cloth. I drip beads of sweat into the sink water, and the room feels like it has no air. I'm trying so hard not to panic or audibly gasp for breath, it feels like I'm dying. My hands are shaking by the third bowl and I can't hold it anymore, I drop the bowl and gasp several times stumbling backwards, I hold my sides and desperately try to suck air in but the room is just a spinning vortex. I feel Ryans arms grab hold of me as I drop limply into his arms, the last thing I remember is the hazy vision of Ryan's concerned face and the muffled sounds, while black covers my vision....

"F*ck help me, someone help! Breathe, Remy......."

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