Back Home

Ok so let's get this started. 3nd of December 2007 My name is Daniel Fraser Lourenço, but you may know me as Danny Fraser, I'm 24 and I'm a musician and a song writer, not so much a song writer latterly. But more then all that what defines me at this moment is my drug addiction, and that is the reason why I'm writing this journal and I have lock myself on this s**t hole. Ok first things first. I and my sister were born and raised in the UK from a Scottish mum and a Portuguese dad; we had a loving family environment during all our childhood. So no drama there. During my teen years I started write music, and had a band with 3 of my school friends, everything was going fine, we were playing at parties bars we had shows all weekends nothing big but not bad for 4 17 years old kids. We really loved what we were doing we were playing our on music, we had our voice and then there was the girls of course, lot's of girls. There was this TV show back then called British got talent and one of my friends girlfriend put us on TV show, we didn't win but was enough for the big dogs to notice us. It was then that we meet Alan he is a producer and back then he was looking for a guy with a voice just like mine for a rock band, he also loved my songs and said that not on this first album as they have all the material they will need already, but that on the next one we should use some of them for sure. Before I know I was on a flight to the USA, to sign a contract with the label, I would perform with this other band for this one album and the rest of the guys where to come 3 months later so we could start working on our music, they never came. I ended up in this "band" with 3 other guys and for the past 6 year we release 4 albums none of them have any of my songs. We had full houses in the bigger arenas in the USA and Canada we even cross the pond on this last one to play in London. Everywhere we go everybody tell us how amazing we are and I just think that this people don't know s**t about music. What we do is so f*****g bad. Is just 4 really cute guys dancing and pretending they are singing how the hell don't people realize that. We spend more time in the gym then in the studio. Somehow those past 6 year were supposed to be the best of my live as I was in the top of my game at least that's what everyone keeps telling me, because I can't remember most of it as I have been numb for the past 4 year. I know I sound f*****g ungrateful, because this was what I asked for, I wanted to be in a famous band I wanted to have money, I wanted women, God I have cover models trying to get in my bed, this basically was the live I dreamed when I was a kid, so why did I choose to anesthetize myself with all kind of s**t I can get my hands on, instead of living that live I once wanted so bad? This is the part where I'm supposed to analyse myself, I pay a s**t bucket of money to this people and ending up to analise myself, great... It disgust me that I let myself being played for so long. I fell that it was never about my music, from the beginning it was about the way I look, I got were I'm based on a lie, that s**t isn't music, I'm basically a w***. Most of the shows were playback, latterly I would be to high to sign that make me fell a fraud. to continue tomorrow.... 4th of December 2007 So let's get on with the show... Yesterday I think I covered almost all untill the day that brought me here, to this nuts house were I'm now trying to get rid of the only thing that had kept me going for this past 4 years, my beloved drugs, the only thing I could always count on. On the 27th of September was my 24 birthday and the label had this really nice party planned for me they even got my family to attend and even better there was also this small part of the party that was going to be on national TV. But guess what I didn't know that my family would be there. The contract with them was over they had been trying to negotiate a new one for the past few days but I didn't want any of that anymore and had a new agent, William, to represent me, so I decided to let everyone know what I really thought about our music. It was glorious I was really f****d up that day, I was running on cocaine, and a full cocktail of pills and alcohol. I can't really remember how it went but I could saw on TV later on, and I can tell you guys I really did a great job f*****g up my live. And to end with a big bang I overdosed on the end. I woke up at the hospital 2 days later with the 3 woman's of my live crying over me. That was my wake up call, that or the slap I got from my grandmother as soon as she realised I wasn't going to die. Vovo is the sweetest grandma you can imagine but she doesn't take s**t from no one and there was no way I was going to kill myself, so the way she see it I was going to take care of myself or she would do it for me.