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Confessions

Daniel

And it was here that I thought I could have lost everything.

The way she looked at me, I really thought she was going to run the hell out that door, but no! She came to the kitchen island, took the plate of toasts, eggs and bacon and the coffee I had prepared for her, looked me in the eyes, tilted her head to give me the signal to follow, and sat at the garden table.

Then she just said:

" You know they're going to make your life a living hell in the next few days, right?"

"Yep"- I smiled

"You know, I'm 15 and I will be far from what you expect from a girlfriend, right?"- She looked up in to my eyes

"You don't know what I expect from a girlfriend!"- I smiled looking back at her.

" Don't give me that crap I was basically raised by those guys”- she give me a serious look.

" I know what you mean!"- I laughed

"Why do you think this is a good idea?- she looked puzzled.

"I will try to be as honest with you as possible.

I was stuck on the day you came to the beach running like crazy to throw yourself

in the cold water, from there it was always getting worse. Like a virus that spreads,

the best part of my day is when I get to see you at the beach in the afternoon, Did

you never find it strange that I always have something to do in Vilamoura precisely at the time you need a ride to work? Or how for 4 consecutive days that I went out at night came home always when you leave the bar? The other day I thought you had discovered me, when you said that I was the only person you knew who went out at night and in the end didn't smell like tobacco! On the beach yesterday I hated when Pedro was helping you, that was why I offer to help, and when Leo arrived and you hugged him... Oh God!!! You know Miguel made me think that he could be your boyfriend? I thought my chest would explode with the pressure I felt. Then when I arrived at the bar and you weren't there, the pain I felt was total despair, in 10 minutes I drank 3 Logans to calm it down, it was Silvia who told me where you were. So I won't take the risk of doing nothing and letting you slip through my fingers, just because you are 15.

I don't give a s**t I can wait I just need to have you around like I'm having you now.

I’m happier at this moment than I have ever been with any of the girls I ever went

out and just because you are here.-"I said holding her tiny hand

"I may be totally wrong, but I think that what I feel is not just on my part, I know you feel something for me, I already knew it and yesterday I was sure, in the way you worried about reassuring me before leaving with Leo, even if I didn't understand it then, and now when you stood up to Paulo." I told her

"You right is not only you, I fell a pull to you since day one, but I'll be honest with you to I don't know what it means and you know this has everything to end badly!!”- She said

“What are you telling me?”- I asked afraid of what her answer may be

“I’m telling you that I’m not afraid of a broken heart, I’m just afraid of not living”-

She smiles at me

“Don’t do that, you almost gave me a heart attack!!”-I smiled at her.

"And now the really difficult part. There is something about me that nobody here knows, but that you need to know, if we're going to do this. It is a part of me that I am not proud of but that for the past 7 years has been the only part of me that existed. Remember when you asked me why I haven't been here for so many years? Well, because for 7 years between 17 and the day I turned 24 I was Danny Fraser, vocalists and guitar player for Silver Moon a North American rock band that was quite successful on the other side of the Atlantic"

"I know you playing in some band but I thought it was in the UK."- she said

"And I did until I went abroad, that is the part everyone knows about."

"Silver Moon, really?? Why can't I see you in a band with that name??" -She asked, that's my girl!

"That was part of the problem, nothing of that was me when I started I gave in to

several things in the hope that one day I could do what I liked, but that day never

came and the frustration grew I ended up trying to make the frustration go away,

first with pills, and girls, then with cocaine and in the last year with everything

that came to hand, until on my birthday I gave a memorable show were I

clarified everyone about what I thought of the s**t of music we played and in the end I finished overdosed. To tell you the truth I don't remember anything but it happened in prime time on national television so if you are curious to see my glorious performance were I f****d up my career I can get you a copy." By now she had her eyes wide and her lips formed the shape of an O.

"First time I saw you I thought you looked like you were out of a boys band, It looks like I wasn't so wrong, after all ”- she said, laughing out loud.

" Funny"

"Sorry, go on"

" On the 2nd of October I used my Português password and took a flight to

Scotland with my sister and went to a rehab clinic, I was there until the day I got here."

"Are you ok now?" she asked me in a small voice.

"Yes, I think I'm

“And you, thinking that you being 15 would be a problem ah?” .. I said smiling as I kissed her knuckles."

"I'll only be 15 for another 9 days." she smiled

"Will your birthday be on the new year?"

" Great,hei??"

"Yes, it is. Do you wanna ask me anything?"

" Are you go back to that?"

" That what, K?

" The band, USA?"

" The band, no way, USA isn't on my plans for now. I had thought about going back to London when I left the clinic and start from there. Now it would be much easier, I don't need anyone to record, I can pay for the musicians and the studio and even invest in promotion for my album, I can make the music I want. The problem is that contrary to what I thought the subject is still hot in the USA and there are paparazzi at my parents' door in London for almost 2 weeks now, that's why I decided to came here. I need some peace of mind for at least some time I'm not ready to have a camera in my face every time I go outside.

"Can't they find you here"

"Danny Fraser is a British guy that lives in the USA no connection with Daniel F. Lourenço a Portuguese guy that used to live in London, So far they still think I am somewhere in the USA, because my passport has not been registered with any airline."

" Only s**t, that means I'll be dating a rock Star??" she said laughing

" Kinda of"-I laught

"Okay, so let's clear things up, from what I heard, and I think I heard it well,

I don't know Danny Fraser I don't want to meet him and you can keep him away

from me, I'm not even curious. Actually I don't even think I like the guy. As for

seeing photos videos or whatever it is of that life that I know you had, thank you but I don't need to see or want to. First remember this I am a young girl, but I am neither crazy nor a masochist I do not know what I would feel when I saw pictures of you with the womans you used to hang out with and which I imagine were beautiful, so thanks but no thanks.

Leave Danny Fraser in London or were ever you want I'll keep Daniel Lourenço

if you don't mind”. -she said really serious.

"You're incredibly you know that"

" Ye, I know!" she said getting up " I have to go home will be back around 12:00 to help you. I'm not working tonight do you have plans"

" No I don't"

" I do, right here with you, movie and popcorn sounds nice to me, what you think??"

"Love it! Are you going out like that?"

"Don't you like it?"

"Are you kidding? That's the sexiest outfit you can ever wear? Why the hell do you

think Paulo has freaking out when he saw you dressed like that? I'll walk you home, there's no way you are going to walk alone on the street like that."

"Okay, but if you take me home now, my mom will catch you, she sure will be on the balcony getting a tan. She can't see a ray of sunshine in the winter."

" She is lucky then, since I arrived it is always sunny, it doesn't even seem like winter." –we walked out hand in hand.

" Welcome to my sunny Algarve" she said while spreading her arms not letting go of my hand.

" How can you speak so passionately about the highlands in Scotland and then speak the same way about the Algarve? They are so different."

" Imagine mixing them both, landscapes of the highlands with the light of the Algarve".

"Actually I think we should go there, do you think that would be possible?"- I asked

"hum, first difficulties to go out with a minor ... I just wanted you to

see your face, I'm kidding. Of course we can go, my grandparents live on the Isle of Skye and I usually spend Christmas and Easter there.

But we can go whenever we want my mum is not a normal mum you'll see."

"Daniel?"she asked stopping.

"Yes?"

" I have a question?"

"Go on..."

"Do you left someone behind?"

"What do you mean? A girlfriend?"

" Yes" looking down

I pulled her chin up to look her in the eye " "Look, baby girl this girlfriend

thing is new to me I never had a girlfriend before, I had s*x with a lot of woman

but I never had a girlfriend. This last one has been given interviews where she

called herself my girlfriend but in reality, if I talked to her for 10 minutes in the 3 times we were togheter it was a lot, but that has earned her some magazine covers in the last few months, so you have to be patient with me 'cause I may not be very good on this". She smiled at me and I melted