chapter 1
The scent of the amberwood and jasmine aromatherapy candle felt suffocating tonight for some reason. But I didn’t really care. Tonight, I had to smile as I straightened the red Valentino silk gown I was wearing in front of the large mirror. This evening was our third wedding anniversary. Three cold years, full of distance and without any meaningful physical intimacy. Still, tonight I was determined to fix everything. Because I thought my husband was just busy with work, and maybe this was the perfect night to make things sweet again.
The sound of the front door opening echoed, followed by hurried footsteps. My heart pounded. I prepared to step out and surprise him.
“Julian? I’m upstairs,” I called, trying to inject a playful, affectionate tone I rarely used.
There was no reply. The silence of our luxurious home was instead broken by heavy, breathless whispers, followed by a low laugh that I knew all too well. My eyebrows furrowed. Why would he bring a guest home on our anniversary night?
Barefoot, I walked across the thick carpet, moving through the dimly lit corridor toward Julian’s study at the end of the hall. The door was slightly ajar, making me even more curious.
“Ssh, slowly. Elena could be home anytime,” Julian’s voice came through. But his tone was no longer stiff or formal like the one I usually heard. It was deep, husky, and filled with passion, a tone I had never once heard directed at me in our three years of marriage.
“She said she’d be at the salon until nine, Jules. We have time. Don’t worry about her,” replied a male voice that made all the blood in my body freeze.
Arthur. Julian’s best friend. The man who had dinner with us just last week.
My feet were rooted in front of the gap in the door. My lungs suddenly felt starved of oxygen as my eyes caught the silhouettes inside the room. The world around me seemed to collapse as I witnessed something utterly disgusting.
Julian, my husband, who always turned away or claimed to have a headache whenever my hands tried to wrap around his waist in bed was now pinning Arthur against the edge of the teak work desk. Julian’s clothes were half-disheveled. His white shirt was open, and his fingers gripped Arthur’s jaw like a man longing for his lover. Nausea rose in my chest as I watched their lips meet.
“No, what are they doing?!” I could only whisper in my heart. They devoured each other roughly. Arthur’s hands even gripped Julian’s back as if he were a woman craving touch.
Crash!
The shock made my body sway. Without realizing it, my elbow knocked over a glass flower vase on the console table in the corridor. The vase shattered into pieces on the marble floor, the loud crash shattering the revolting intimacy inside the room.
Julian and Arthur jolted apart instantly.
They released each other as if electrocuted. I stood frozen in the doorway. They stared at me, their faces equally pale.
For a moment, no one spoke. I desperately hoped this was a dream, that my brain had misinterpreted what I was seeing. But Julian’s wet lips, his open shirt, and Arthur’s hand still gripping his waist killed that hope in an instant.
“Elena..” Julian’s voice sounded hoarse.
I took a step back. My heart was beating so hard it hurt.
“Darling, listen to me first.”
“Don’t call me that,” I said, pointing at him.
Julian rubbed his face in frustration.
“This isn’t what you think.”
I laughed or a short laugh that sounded more like a sob.
“Not what I think?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t you dare take one step closer to me, Julian!” My scream tore through the silence. My body trembled violently from head to toe. An overwhelming wave of nausea hit my chest, forcing me to grip the doorframe so I wouldn’t collapse.
“Listen to me first.”
“Then help me understand what I just saw.”
Julian opened his mouth, but no words came out. Because there was no reasonable explanation for two men kissing in his study on our wedding anniversary night.
“I saw you kissing him, Julian.”
“That’s not..”
“I saw it!”
My voice echoed through the room.
Arthur lowered his head. Julian let out a long breath.
“Arthur is going through a difficult time.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “A difficult time?”
“Yes.”
“And the solution to that difficult time is kissing my husband?”
“Elena..”
“Do you think I’m stupid?”
Julian’s jaw tightened. I could see his patience wearing thin. But I didn’t care.
“But now everything makes sense. And it makes me want to vomit.”
“Elena, for God’s sake, lower your voice!” Julian tried to grab my arm, his eyes nervously glancing toward the window as if afraid neighbors or paparazzi might hear. “I love you, okay? I truly love you as my wife!”
“Love me?!” I laughed sarcastically. Angry tears finally spilled down my cheeks, ruining the makeup I had carefully done since afternoon.
“You call this love? You married me just to use me as a shield for your s****l orientation! You used my life, my body, and three precious years of my youth just to cover up the fact that you don’t even like women! No wonder every time I asked, every time I tried to seduce or caress you, you always rejected me! I even gave you aphrodisiacs once just to make you desire me, but you left instead. Or maybe you went to see that man to satisfy your desires?!”
Arthur, standing behind Julian, could only bow his head deeply, rolling up his shirt with trembling hands, not daring to meet my eyes blazing with rage.
“Arthur, say something!” I snapped.
Arthur lifted his head.
“I’m sorry.”
But his tone sounded more apologetic to Julian than to me. I glanced back at Julian.
“How long has this been going on?” I screamed again. My chest felt incredibly tight. My stomach twisted at this reality.
“Elena.”
“Answer me.”
Arthur finally spoke.
“It’s been quite a while.”
I turned to him. My gaze was so sharp that he immediately regretted opening his mouth.
“How long?”
Arthur didn’t answer. Julian stepped forward.
“This has nothing to do with you.”
I laughed again, this time louder.
“How funny.”
“Elena..”
“You’ve been cheating throughout our marriage and you still have the nerve to say this has nothing to do with me?”
Julian rubbed the back of his neck. I recognized that gesture, he was nervous.
But a few seconds later, something changed in his face.
The panic slowly disappeared.
It was replaced by a cold calmness that made my skin crawl.
“Fine.”
One word.
Flat, calm, and dangerous.
“Fine?” I repeated.
“If you want the truth, I’ll give it to you.”
My chest tightened. Julian looked me straight in the eyes and spoke without the slightest hint of guilt.
“My relationship with Arthur is far more complicated than you could ever understand.”
No denial. No apology. No regret. Only a cold confession that destroyed three years of my life. Tears began to blur my vision.
“So this is why you two looked so passionate?” I asked again. I took a deep breath, frustrated by everything. “Then why did you marry me?”
Julian was silent for a moment. Then he answered with the cruelest honesty I had ever heard.
“Because this marriage benefits both of us.”
I froze.
“The board needs a family image. Investors prefer married men. The media loves the perfect couple.” He shrugged. “And you were there. I never wanted this marriage. I married you because my company needed it.”
As if that were a perfectly reasonable reason. As if my life was nothing more than a business tool.
“You used me.”
“I gave you an extraordinary life.”
“What?”
“You live in a luxurious penthouse.”
“Julian?!”
“You have an unlimited credit card.”
His voice grew colder. “You attend galas, charity events, and elite Manhattan parties.”
“You think that’s what I wanted?”
“You never complained for three years,” Julian replied. I stared at him, incredulous. This man was really trying to paint me as the one at fault.
“I didn’t complain because I loved you, Julian.”
“That’s your problem.”
I froze. What did he mean?
“That’s your problem, Elena.”
Julian continued cruelly.
“You’re too emotional. You always want more. You always demand something I can never give.”
My tears fell. Not from sadness, but from anger.
“So now it’s my fault?” I said softly. Julian’s words made my head throb.
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you did.”
I looked at the man I had always loved. He was no longer the man I married three years ago. He was a selfish monster.
“I’m human, Julian!” I shoved his hand off my shoulder with all the strength I had left, making him stagger backward. “I’m a woman of flesh and blood, not a display trophy or a filthy mask to cover up your lies!”
I was almost screaming.
“I cried every night thinking I wasn’t beautiful enough!”
Julian’s expression shifted slightly, but only for a moment.
“I thought there was something wrong with me!”
I beat my own chest.
“I thought I had failed as a woman!”
“Elena…”
“I even considered therapy because I thought I was the cause of all this!”
The room suddenly fell silent. Our breathing was ragged. Then Julian said something that killed every last bit of love I had for him right then and there.
“I never asked you to do any of that.”
Silence. Complete silence. Then I laughed. Tears and laughter mixed together. Because I finally understood, the man standing in front of me was not my husband. He was a coward. And what was worse, he didn’t even feel guilty.
“I’m divorcing you.”
Julian’s face finally changed. For the first time that night, he looked worried.
“Don’t be hasty, Elena.”
“I’m serious.”
“We can arrange everything. You can still be my wife. We can be a couple on paper. I’ll give you everything, and you cover for me.”
“No.”
“Elena.”
“No.” My voice was firm and cold.
And for the first time that night, I saw something in his eyes. Fear.
Not because he was losing me, but because he was afraid of losing his perfect image.
“You don’t understand what will happen if this news gets out, Elena!”
“I don’t care.”
“I do.” Julian’s voice suddenly sharpened. He grabbed my arm again, gripping it so tightly my skin turned red.
“My future could be destroyed.”
I smiled bitterly.
“Finally, some honesty.”
“You’ll be destroyed too.”
“What?”
“Do you think people will believe you?”
I froze. Julian moved closer.
Slowly, with eyes full of threat.
“You’ve been living off my money for three years.”
“Julian…”
“And I have the best lawyers.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“I’m warning you.”
His gaze hardened. “If you try to destroy me, Elena…”
He paused, then smiled thinly. A smile that sent chills down my spine.
“..…I’ll make sure you sink with me.”
I pushed him away and turned, walking down the hallway, ignoring his shouts calling my name. In the bedroom, I grabbed my Bottega Veneta leather duffel bag and threw in my passport, wallet, and some clothes at random.
My hand briefly touched the diamond jewelry box he had given me, but I immediately pulled it back as if it had burned me. All this luxury now felt like the disgusting chains of a prison.
“Don’t be stupid, Elena! There’s a big storm outside and it’s already midnight!” Julian shouted, chasing me all the way to the private elevator in the lobby. “Where are you going? You don’t have anyone in this city!”
I stepped into the elevator, turned around, and looked straight into his eyes with the coldest gaze I had ever given.
“Anywhere,” I whispered, my voice suddenly low but as sharp as a blade, “as long as it’s as far away as possible from a cowardly monster like you.”
The elevator doors closed, erasing his panicked face from my sight.