WanderingLifestyle

March 27, 2023 There comes a time in my life, I realize. I've cheated myself out of so many things. I've cheated my family out of time, boundaries and respect. I lived insanity. A delusion if you must. Now I'm trying to ride up s**t creek without a paddle. As you can tell I suck. Mostly I lose time with my babies. That...is what I regret the most. I will never understand why I chose the path, I've chosen. Ultimately I just had to find a God of my understanding. I did that in the valley of the shadow of death. I am marked as cain. I am able to chose my fate. My life has changed incredibly In the past six weeks. As I abstain from the addictions that brought me so far down. Il never know how much life has in store for me or when my day may come. I wake up every day trying to undo the monster I've become. I've quoted the demons in my mind. Now I'm physically trying to control my life. That's all for today goodbye letter March 27, 2023 Dear meth and s*x; Sex you attracted me by making me feel constantly loved, accepted, and powerful. The rise and fall of my body responding to the other being. At the start you kept me older than I was. Niave and venerable I've become. I listened to all of solomons sweet songs. I fell into a downward spiral and woke, to strangers, naked beside me. Time and time again. Meth when we first met, you took away my heroin sickness. I created you in my lab. Sold you like a cheap w***e and bought heroin with your ass. When i gave up opiods you were still there with arms wide open and all i wanted was to feel your embrace. We have been steady for roughly 10 years now. The hardest breaks have been my incarcerations. Since the law doesnt appreciate me possessing and distributing you, like i Do. Sex our relationship has been wild. Private, public not going to lie sometimes I've forgotten. I want you to know I appreciate the lessons Ive held onto the feel of your love. Today I have to say goodbye I cant let you control my search for love in life. I can find many belts to be another notch in. Loving myself emotionally, physically and spiritually your not working in my favor. Im breaking away from your lies. Actually, IM broken so we are through. Goodbye your cut from this chapter and you can only comeback when you come with commitment and respect. Meth you made me feel like superman. I just failed to realize he has lots to do. Ive gave you the best time of my life. We spent many nights alone. Awake. I cant let you make or break me. I hate everysecond under your influence. This is my final emotional tye. Physically you have been gone for over a month now. I don't miss your lies. Emotionally you broke me. Left me mentally out to hang and dry. as the wind blows it takes me away only the colors of the wind cant paint my life today.Its goodbye for us. You will never get a part in my life again. Ill kill you b***h if i ever see your face again. Dear life I love you entirely I apologize for the times I took you for granted. The times i tried to end you first hand. Im so proud you survived the time we tried to poison a rabbit. Every morning since, Ive thanked our creator for letting you live. So, would you please stay take my hand. Im ready to live, the lifestyle real kailee was born to live. @radkunt816