Chapter 3 - Lessons in control
1115 Words
The sun was shining in the afternoon. It filled up the big training room. This was a space where she felt like she did not belong. There were curtains made of silk that hung around the windows. They showed off the view of the sky. The floors were made of marble. They were so shiny that she could see herself standing there and she was shaking. The training room was really something and the silk curtains and the marble floors made her feel more nervous. The afternoon sun just made everything feel more overwhelming. The training room seemed like an even bigger deal.
Elias told her to stand. His voice was sharp and clear. Elias’s steel-gray eyes stayed fixed on her the time. He said she had to have posture and look confident. Elias explained that every single thing she did had to show that she was calm and in control even if she did not really feel that way. Elias wanted the confidence to be visible, in every movement she made.
Elena’s legs shook. She took a step forward it was a step. Elena said "I do not know if I can do this" in a quiet voice. Her voice was so quiet that you could hardly hear Elena.
He told me that I can do it. He said that I will do it. He said this in a sharp tone. The reason I have to do it is because I have no choice.
Her chest felt really tight as he walked around her. He had his hands behind his back. It was like he was waiting for her to do something wrong. Every time he looked at her it felt like he was checking to see if she was good enough. The quiet moments were even worse they felt like he was thinking about all the things she was doing wrong. Her chest tightened more as he kept circling around her like an animal waiting to pounce. Every glance, from him felt like a test every moment of silence felt like he was judging her.
He told me to lift my chin. I had to look ahead with my eyes. I was not supposed to look weak all. He said I had to be strong and look strong, with my eyes forward.
She did what she was told. Her body gave away how scared she was. He stopped behind her so close that she could feel the heat from his body and the power he had was, like something she could touch.
He said that everything is fine. Now he wants the other person to say something. He spoke in a quiet voice.
Elena Moore said slowly I am Elena Moore. Her voice was really shaky. The words sounded very weak.
He said no. You have to say it like you really mean it. You have to sound confident. I want to hear that you are sure, about what you're saying, not that you are scared. I should hear certainty when you say it not fear. You have to say it with strength with confidence so I can hear that you really believe in what you're saying.
She swallowed then she took a breath and she said again "I am Elena Moore."
He said that is better. He nodded his head one time. We will keep practicing the thing until the thing's really good. We want the thing to be perfect.
Hours went by slowly. Every single thing Elena did every word she said every single move she made was looked at very closely. Elena’s body hurt a lot she felt really unsure of herself. Then she would feel a little better each time she got something right.. Even though she was extremely tired Elena felt a small sense of pride, inside her. Elena was learning about herself. Elena was surviving this time.
She looked at him for a moment. Elias was standing up straight. His face did not show what he was thinking. Elias had sharp eyes and he was watching her very closely. "Do you know why Elias is doing this?" he asked her.
She said to him "I do not want to disappoint you?"
He leaned his head a little to the side. "This is not about keeping me safe. It is about keeping yourself safe. Every single thing, every rule, is in place so you can survive. Do you really understand what the rules are for and how they help your survival? The rules are there to help your survival and every detail is important, for your survival.
The woman said yes quietly.
"Good." He did not sound as harsh now. This small change made her heart beat faster. "Do you see Ms. Moore, how easily confidence can be shaken? It is, like something you can build up. Then it breaks.. You can build it again.. You, Ms. Moore if you keep going through the tough times will become stronger than you think you can be. You will become stronger Ms. Moore and that is what will happen if you endure."
Elena’s lips opened,. She did not say anything. She felt really exposed when he looked at her. She felt weak and small.. What he said made her think. Elena thought that maybe she could learn to be strong. The things he said were still on her mind. Elena felt like she could learn to be strong, like him.
He told me to rest. Tomorrow we are going to learn about dining etiquette. We will learn how to behave in social situations with dining etiquette. You will learn to be polite and nice when you're with other people in social spaces, with dining etiquette or something bad might happen to you.
The woman said "Yes Mr. Blackwood" in a quiet voice.
That night she was alone in her room. She sank onto the bed. She felt exhausted and she was trembling. Her fingers went to her collarbone. She remembered the weight of his gaze. The authority in every word that he said and every single gesture that he made was still, with her. The memory of his gaze was still affecting the girl.
Fear was still a part of her life. But deep down she was getting stronger. She felt really weak now but the smallest spark of power was starting to grow inside of her.
I will survive this. I will get through all of it.. Someday I will not be afraid of him or anyone else. I will not be afraid of him. That is a great feeling to look forward to.
Even in this gilded cage, Elena Moore felt the first whisper of her own strength.
- Writer
