Ocean Of Lies

Feeling Free

WILLOW’S P.O.V. 

“So, I’m not only carrying my abuser's baby but a dead baby?” I said laughing 

“Well from what we can tell, yes. This does make your choice a little harder though” Jay said calmly  

“I mean there is only one choice, right?” I said trying not to laugh anymore.  

“Well, since the baby is still small it looks like it died a couple weeks ago. Probably while you were in the coma. How Steph didn’t catch it is beyond myself but it gives you 4 choices” Lexis said with a smile.  

“Okay, so what are they?” I asked letting out a small chuckle. This whole thing is surreal.  

“Well option one would be a regular abortion, which is a little invasive. Pretty much we just stick a suction inside of you and pull the baby out. Like a vacuum. Option two would be the pill which I had already mentioned to you. You just take it and go home and let the baby pass naturally by yourself. Option three would be a little more invasive. This one is called a late abortion and we would have to cut you open to remove the baby. And option four would be carrying to full term and delivering the baby naturally” Lexie said covering all of the bases that she could.  

“Which one’s can I go home with Luka today?” I asked carefully  

“Option one and two.” Jason answered  

“Okay, so which one is easier?” I asked confidently  

“Well option one ensures we can get all of the baby out and not have to worry about anything, but option two is basically just going into battle with our eyes closed and both hands tied behind our backs” Lexie answered  

“So will option two work?” Luka asked  

“It will work, but she would have to come back in and we would have to check her every day for a week to make sure she was passing the way she should be, and if not, we would have to go back to option one anyways.” Lexie explained 

“I know this has to be a hard choice for you Willow but we don’t have a lot of time. Eventually the baby will start decaying if it hasn’t already and then there would be a possibility you wouldn’t be able to have kids at all” Lexie explained as I took in all of this information. My mind was going a mile a minute and I was confused.  

‘Willow’  

‘Oh hi’  

‘Go with option one’ 

‘why’ 

‘It’ll be easier on you and your body’ 

‘Are you sure?’  

‘From experience, yes’ 

‘Okay, I trust you’  

‘We will get through this together, and if you ever wanna talk just tap into me.’  

‘Thank you, Octavia.’ 

‘Of course, Willow’ 

“Option one” I said as soon as I regained focus.  

“Are you sure? You haven’t had much time to think about it flower” Luka said quickly  

“I made my choice. How fast can it be done?” I answered focusing on Lexie.  

“We can do it now, but only one people can be in the room with you” Lexie answered  

“I think I need my mom for this one” I answered honestly looking up at Jess and Luka 

“We understand” Luka said kissing the top of my head and heading for the door 

“You got this” Jess said with a smile as she walked to the door 

“No matter what. I got you” Jason said patting my leg and walking out behind Jess 

“I always knew you were a fighter” Josh said and flashed a smile  

“Okay, I am going to set things up while we wait for your mom, okay?” Lexie said with a smile  

“I have a question Lex” I answered quickly  

“Okay” She paused and looked at me  

“If the baby still had a heartbeat, would you still be doing this?” I asked  

“Yes, this is something I do quite often believe it or not. I’ve actually had it done myself” Lexie answered with a smile  

“I haven’t been called Lex by a patient before” she said with a smile  

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just like making nicknames for people” I said shyly  

“That’s okay, I like that Luka calls you Flower, I think it’s sweet” she said still smiling  

“One more question before my mom comes in; when can I have s*x again?” I asked confused  

“Well since you’re a wolf and now 18 your body will heal a lot faster, so probably since it’s only 4 am, By 4 pm?” Lexie said with a smile  

“Are you sure?” I asked  

“I will double check with another doctor and let you know before you leave, how about that?” Lexie said with a smile as my mom walked in, I just nodded quickly in agreement as she finished setting up.  

“Hi baby” My mom said hugging me  

“Hi mom” I said lowly  

“Well, I expected this from your brother” she said with a chuckle  

“Wait, Glen has a girlfriend?” I asked confused  

“Oh, believe me. I’ve had to do this with your brother lots of times already” My mom said with a laugh  

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask Glen or Layla to come, I just have been really struggling with all of this. And I didn’t want them to think differently of me” I said sadly  

“Willow honey, It’s okay. I didn’t even tell them that we were coming here for you. I wanted to surprise them when we went back. I understand and they will to” My mom said with a smile  

“Okay, we are ready to get started. This may feel weird and hurt just a little. If it hurts to much we can stop. Try not to move around a lot, okay?” Lexie said as I put my feet on the table exposing everything waist down. I nodded my head in agreement and just laid my head back and closed my eyes as my mom stood beside me and held my hand. After a few minutes of it I struggled to think about anything other than Luka. Soon I would be able to sleep in his arms and love him the way I've wanted to for a while. I laid there and pictured all of the things I wanted to do to him and the things I wanted him to do to me.  

“Okay, we are almost done.” Lexie said breaking me from my thoughts 

“I didn’t really feel anything” I chuckled  

“Yeah, some people don’t” My mom smiled at me 

“Have you ever had this done?” I asked  

“Once” My mom answered honestly  

“When?” I asked curious 

“Well, a couple months after you went missing, I got pregnant. I wasn’t ready to have another child. Especially since you had just disappeared. And I had spent all of my time looking for you. Your father and I agreed now wouldn’t be the best time to have another baby we couldn’t love fully. So, we went and had an abortion. It was hard for both of us. But we got through it. And I actually have barley had the chance to talk to you, so I haven't been able to tell you. You have a baby brother. His name is Carl. And he’s only a couple days old.” My mom said shocking me  

“Oh, my goddess!” I yelled quickly  

“I’m sorry I haven’t--” My mom started to say 

“No, it wasn’t you! That hurt” I said quickly  

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I should have warned you that would be the worst part but I didn’t want to interrupt.” Lexie said shyly  

“It’s okay. I am happy for you and dad mom. And I'm happy I have a brother” I answered quickly again  

“We are all done, I’ll get that information for you. You should sit and lay for most of the day if you can” Lexie smiled cleaning everything up and leaving the room  

“You okay honey? I know these things can be hard” My mom asked  

“Weirdly I’m a little sad about everything, but I’m okay. I’d like to talk to Lena before we actually go back to our pack, okay?” I answered honestly  

“Okay.” My mom answered with a smile.  

After a few minutes of sitting in silence Lexie came back in and my mom went out to talk to everyone else.  

“Okay, so I did talk to another doctor; she agrees that 4pm should be okay. It's at least 12 hours which is way over the limit it takes wolfs to heal. You are going to feel very crampy today but other than that I don’t see any other reason you need to be here. It’ll basically be like having a heavy flow week. I will do a blood test and after that you can go home so go ahead and start packing things up.” Lexie said with a reassuring smile.  

“Thank you, Lexie, for everything. You have been nothing but nice and professional.” I said with a smile  

“Of course, Willow. And I did want to let you know. There is a meeting tomorrow for people who have been kidnapped and/or abused. We could go together if you would like?” Lexie asked  

“Yeah, I think I’d like that” I said with a smile.  

“Well then, your labs will take about 20 minutes so you should start getting everything cleaned up and packed up. Your first night in an actual bed” Lexie winked as she walked out of the room  

After a few minutes of laying there feeling overwhelmed with everything I got up and started packing, folding blankets, putting away anything that I wasn’t taking with me, pulling down the lights that Jason put up on the first night I was awake. I felt sad. I’m not sure if it's because of everything I went through in the past 5 hours or so, or the fact that I'm taking apart the one thing that made this hospital better and the memories of the last few nights, I sat down for a few seconds and really took it all in. Every place I looked in this room was a memory I would hold with me forever. Good and bad. But none the less. I spent time with all of my friends in this room. People I haven’t seen in 5 years who still love me the same as when I left. I can’t believe I'm sad over something this stupid; but we aren’t kids anymore, we won’t be able to have sleepovers anymore. Everyone has school and jobs and lives to live. I’m stuck in this loop of thing happening to me all the time and I'm just okay with it now. Sadly, I feel as if this is how my life was meant to be. I struggle to think of things in any normal way without my anxiety taking over and making me think something bad is going to happen anytime I leave now. I don’t think I could ever go back into town back at our pack, that scares the s**t out of me. I remember the exact place I was taken at. I know soon I will have to go back. Within a couple of days; and I know Luka has to stay here but I can’t just not go back. As not the Luna but a friend to everyone in the pact I know people will be happy to see me and I can’t just leave them hanging. Especially since I was kidnapped. I know Glen will take the pack, especially since he has been through all the training and everything else. But I was next in line. I’m just a couple hours older than him but older none the less. It was always supposed to be me but now I know it’s all on him. I won't take that right from him; he’s my brother and I want him to be happy and succeed in life.  

“Hey flower” Luka said entering the room and pulling me away from my thoughts 

“Hey” I said with a smile as Jason, Jen, Megan and Alyssa pilled in behind him 

“How are you feeling?” Jess asked rubbing my arm  

“Honestly? I’m sad, but not about that or anything else that happened in the last five hours. I’m sad that this is the last time we will all be in this room together. When I woke up here, I knew where I was, I just couldn’t be sure since I was only ever in the pack hospital a few times. But all of you made this tiny room for one feel like home for a while. Every place I look I see a memory, good and bad. It's only been like what? Five days since I woke up? Everything fell apart and gathered its self all in one night. I didn’t think any of you would remember me or even have my back like you used to, but from the moment I opened my eyes all of you proved one way or another that you never forgot me; never stopped missing me, never stopped loving me for who I am. Even if we have all changed our love for each other has stayed the same. We are all adults now, expect for Alyssa which is only a few short weeks away. We won’t have stupid sleepovers and get stupid drunk in the woods without our parents knowing. We won't have stupid movie nights where we all sit in silence or all the inside jokes we should have had. Or do all the things I should have been able to do with you guys growing up. It makes me sad I won’t be able to experience the things I should have growing up with all of you. You guys are my family and best friends rolled into one. Jess you and I have been running around together since we were in diapers, and Jay you’re older so when I was born you already had most things down and still. You always chose to hangout with us instead of your guy friends.” I said sadly looking around at everyone who was standing there.  

“Okay. One we love you for who you are, always have and always will. Willow you are my best friend forever and always. We will always make time for you and as for everything we got to experience that you didn’t, well we have all the time in the world to do that stuff together. Yeah, we may be older. Still in school, and have part time jobs but honestly, we have taken off every day to be here with you and we will continue to do that so we can spend so much time together. Willow we would never leave you. Expect that one time we got into a fight and punched each other.” Jess said making me chuckle a little.  

“And as for me. I hung out with you guys because everyone else sucks. You guys are my best friends and without a doubt have always been there for me. You won’t lie to me or beat around the bush when something’s wrong. You guys put me in my place more times than I can count. You all helped me in some way or another. And let's not forget when you carried me out of the hospital when I broke my leg. Even though you all dropped me” Jay said making everyone laugh  

“And we may have came a little later, since we had a tough start but I wouldn’t trade the memories we have shared over the years with any of you. I know we aren’t as close and we don’t know all the details and Willow hated us when we first became part of the group but we stuck it out and continued to help out any way that we could.”  Megan added making everyone laugh again  

“Yeah, we consider all of you family to! Mostly because we only have our dad but still! And we still stayed even when Willow left us in the woods by ourselves!” Alyssa added laughing  

“Hey! We all had to do It so you guys did to! I wasn’t going easy on you!” I said laughing  

“And I may not have been close to all of you like that but Willow I mean it when I say I've loved you since I was fifteen, I always tried to ignore it because well Jay. But anytime you asked me to do anything and gave me your puppy dog eyes I couldn’t help but give in. I used to leave girls whenever you called and said you needed me for something. I couldn’t care less about anyone else at that moment. Hell, I left my whole pack to find you and save you because I missed you. Willow without a doubt you are one hell of a woman and I'm sorry I wasn’t nice to you all the time. It was my way of suppressing my feelings for you.  It was stupid and never really worked anyways but I tried.” Luka said with a smile and hearts in his eyes and it was then I know I loved this man way more than I thought I did.  

“When did she ever call you for anything?” Jay asked with a chuckle  

“Well, the weekend before her last visit you guys had gotten into a pretty big fight about something stupid. And she called me and asked if she could stay with me. Apparently, everyone else was asleep and it was just you and her and she didn’t know where else to go. I was out obviously and dropped everything to come get her. That wasn’t the first time she had called me to get her when something went wrong between you all but it was the moment, I realized I loved her and it wasn’t just some dumb crush” Luka said smiling making Jason scoff at that memory and all the girls laugh.  

“Well, thank you. For taking care of her when I couldn’t” Jay sarcastically stated  

“You're welcome” Luka smirked  

“Okay boys enough! This is about Willow” Jess pushed between them. 

“The point is we all love you for different reasons, you beat up someone for picking on me when we were 12” Jess said  

“You beat up an ex-boyfriend of mine” Alyssa said  

“You beat up my ex best friend for me when she wouldn’t give me my stuff back” Megan chimed in  

“You beat up a friend of mine for making fun of my crush on you” Jay said laughing a bit  

“Man I remember that” Luka chimed in  

“Yeah, she really kicked his ass” Jess said laughing.  

I sat there listening to their conversations about everything I have done for each one of them or stuff they have done for me. Reminiscing on past memories reminded me who I was and who I aspire to be someday. Listening and laughing over the stupid mistakes of our past, even when I wasn’t in the memories, they still all made me feel included. This right here is why this room was my home away from home. It’s not a place; it’s the people who share it alongside me? If I learned one thing from my time away it’s that people don’t change who you are, they help you become the person you are meant to be. Somehow, someway. I knew I belong here, with them. Whatever my pack has instore for me when I get back will be a cake walk compared to what I have been through. It can’t be that hard, can it? 

“Okay guys, lets finish cleaning up” I said smiling  

“Ughhh” They all groaned  

“Willow?” I heard a faint voice say as the door opened  

“Hi, I’m sorry but do I know you?” I asked confused  

“Yeah, my names Alexis. And I need to tell you something.” She said shyly  

“Okay?” I said confused  

“What are you doing here?” Jess sneered  

“Get out” Alyssa made her first attempt I had ever seen to stand up to someone  

“Seriously, all you do is start problems” Megan stepped in  

“Girls. Relax.” I said stepping Infront of them  

“You are going to regret this Willow” Jess said quickly turning my attention to Luka who had his head down and Jay who was glaring at him 

“Alright, anyone else wanna tell me what this is about?” I asked putting my hands on my hips. And waited a few seconds as everyone shifted towards Luka who couldn’t speak to save his life at this moment.  

“Okay then, Alexis” I turned my attention back to her  

“Well, while you were in the hospital bed just couple hours ago, I kissed Luka. But he kissed me back. It was my fault; I knew he was your mate and did it anyways because Jess stole my boyfriend and I was angry. Please don’t be mad at Luka” Alexis explained putting her head down.  

“Alexis leave” I stated  

“But” She started to say  

“Jess, Jason, Megan, Alyssa. Explain what happens to people who cross the line?” I sneered 

“Or I could just show her” Jess sneered walking towards her 

“I get the point. I’m sorry Willow” Alexis said as she turned towards the door 

“No, you are going to be sorry if you ever come near me again.” I growled and slammed the door in her face. Octavia was going nuts inside my head. Growling and sneering, she was just as mad as I was. If not more.  

“Everyone out” I growled and everyone headed for the door 

“Luka, sit” I demanded as he tried to sneak out.  

He turned around a sulked back to his seat. I paced the floor for a few minutes trying to think of what to say or do. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.  

“Flower” Luka said in a sweet voice. 

“Shut up” I growled  

“Willow I'm sorry” He pleaded  

“Luka. I decided today that I loved you more than I love anyone else. Yes, I kissed Jason. That was a mistake. But you weren’t laying in a hospital bed possibly dying! I wanted to be all in with you. Tonight, I wanted to give you everything. I had better birthdays what I was with Kris and I know that sounds shitty but it’s true. At least I got cake and a gift. Maybe coming back was a mistake. I’m leaving in a few days anyways so maybe I should just head back now” I sighed and sat down on the bed.  

“You aren’t allowed to leave us!” Jess stormed in through the shut door 

“Were you all listening?!” I asked angrily  

“Well yeah! We need to know what's happening!” Megan answered sarcastically  

“Listen, I understand what you are saying Willow. But in the same respect we just got you back. Don't cut our time short because he’s an i***t” Jess pleaded 

“I need to go clear my head” I said pushing past everyone. And like always everyone started following me 

“Alone” I demanded and heard their footsteps stop mid-step. I walked out of the hospital around the pack grounds.