Once Upon A Crown

Garden Vile is the most uneventful place on planet earth the most kick I get from neighborhood  drama is a fly banging itself against a window, even in this room filled with people I feel alone, like this whole event is uneventful and that's not because Michael Pierce is vomiting inside an olive green flower vase but because I am absent, my body is here my mind is on the couch drawing on the tablet while listening to an audiobook and shoving mouthful popcorn forcefully into my mouth which is a task that requires intense coordination. It's the 'Senior's Rage' party, one everyone has been eagerly waiting for which is why 80% of the seniors from Grahamson High are standing achingly close to each other in the lounge of Jabu's house. His mother is out of town and my sister Linda is the reason I'm sandwiched in between her, and a very sweaty boy named Greg, aka her boyfriend, aka my worst nightmare. She shoves her iPhone to my face.  "Say hi to the camera Gi!" she screams over the sound of the music straight into my ear. I roll my eyes, counting to ten, stay calm, no need to get riled up.  Linda's has managed to capture every moment of our lives; everything from basketball games and art classes and singing karaoke, she's been gathering every single second from the time we were 14 to this very moment. She's a youtuber which also means every embarrassing thing I have done is out in the open for the internet and Linda's subscribers, who by the way... are sitting at a whopping 1.2 million which also translates into the fact that my mother could be one of them, which also means she might see this once Linda posts it which definitely means she'll kill us for lying about coming to this party, but Linda doesn't seem to think of this as she chugs punch down her throat, I lift my Sprite can to the camera, in case ma sees this she'll know I wasn't drinking.  "Come on, say hi" Linda repeats.  "Hi" the words are caught and swallowed by the loud music, it's almost as though I didn't say anything.  "Say hi babe" she beams at Greg. The urge to puke prickles my tongue.  "Hi Lindites" he says  Nicki Minaj call her fans barbs, Beyonce, BeyHive, Mariah Carey calls hers lambs and the best fandom name she came up with is 'Lindites' it's in need of serious rebranding. Every time I bring it up, she shuts me down.  She ends the recording; she looks at Greg and Greg looks at her. Oh boy vomit steers in the pit of my stomach. Look, I'm all for love, I love love but I hate Greg and Linda's love, it's the worst, it's toxic and...  "See you later dude" she whisper shouts in my ear. Greg is already leading her through the masses of bodies to the dance floor.  Parties always go like this; Linda begs me to go! She literally BEGS, then she leaves me stranded like a stray dog, wondering down a lonely, lonely road.   The floor is rattling violently, the sound of 808’s and a snare so strong it vibrates through my body with Drake’s soothing voice. It is a weirdly calming sensation. Loving Champagne Papi has become a personality trait, and what that says about me is that I have good taste. I bop my head, my finger thrumming to the beat instinctively. Do I look like the awkward, anti-social girl that uses her sister as a clutch in social gatherings and doesn’t know how to socialize on her own?  Yes Do I care? Hell nooo. Am I hungry? Heck yeah. So I clumsily squeeze myself in between people muttering a few apologies as I pass through them. As I reach the kitchen a few girls are huddled on the island, they cling to each other as they pose for a selfie. I try to stay out of view as I walk to the marble kitchen counters. The girls abruptly stop. Here we go again… they look at me, smiles wide, then their eyes shift behind me, searching for something, someone; Linda. I’m used to this, in a second they will realize that Linda is not around then they’ll give me a sad smile then they will leave. Around these parts Linda is a celebrity, everyone knows her, and I’m guessing these girls are Lindites. On queue their faces sag, disappointed. I should be used to this but still my heart lurches. Linda and I are twins, we barely have anything in common. She's short, I'm kinda tall but not really, she's skinny, I'm chubby, she's an extrovert, I'm an introvert, she loves the camera, I hate the camera, people love her and half of the time they don't even notice me, that's a good thing considering the fact that I hate attention. I open the cupboards self consciously,  searching for snacks. If anyone can just walk up to the fridge to get a beer, I can also open cupboards to get snacks right? After discovering fancy plates and wine glasses that shine brighter than the twinkling midnight stars themselves, I come across a cupboards full of snacks. I grab a bag of Lays chips and Oreos but as I turn back onto the island I am met with Chad and Jude's wide taunting smile, a couple of other party goers surround her, all looking at me with the same intensity. What the f**k is going on? My eyes scramble to find Linda's face in the crowd but I don't see her. Although this is a senior party I recognize the faces of juniors and even freshmen some of them hold phones recording, but nothing worth recording is happening, or so I thought. People always follow Jude, she's a magnet, it's normal to always have people around her. "Hungry aren't you?" Chad mocks, his arms is slung over Jude's shoulder, a red cup in his other hand. His green baseball team sweater is open,  showing a band t shirt, his blue jeans have a nasty stain below the left pocket.  What is this an interrogation? It's not even his house, not even his snacks. "Yes" I answer truly, raising my eyebrows confused. Why is this a big deal, why are all these people gathered here to watch me and why are more people approaching the kitchen? Jude throws her head back her, jet black hair falls in waves to her  shoulders, and onto Chand's arm she laughs. "Of course you are" Chad's eyes are red, and I suspect he's using Jude for support. I'm surprised she doesn't defend me. We were friends once, Jude and I; she would threaten to cut the tongues that spoke anything bad about me, it's weird seeing her on the other side.  barks of laughter from the surrounding crowd fill the room, echoing and bouncing off the tall ceiling back to the nape of my neck sending chills down my spine.  I haven't had an incident like this broadcasted in such a large crowd. Here my body is always a target, but since Linda is rising to fame higher and higher the insults weren't as frequent anymore, quite the opposite really, people had been kinder to me, wanted to befriend me hoping I could rub some pieces of Linda onto to them. I'd almost forgotten how it feels to humiliated, to be treated like less than anyone in the room. But being humiliated by Chad and Jude, Linda's friends, and my ex friend hits different. Bodies that look like mine shrink as though the looming insults hurt them as much as they hurt me. I find my voice "Yes I am, is there a problem here Chad?" I ask. In defiance I open the packet of Lays and chew them, showing them that I am not phased, even though my stomach is stirring, even though my throat threatens to release the lump that resides within my embarrassment, i will not let them hurt me, not again. I am grateful for the salty flavor of the snacks.   A few murmurs pass through the crowd as Jude frowns. "Don't you think you should be doing a few laps around the house instead?" Jude's sweet, sweet voice fills the space, it's so sweet you'd swear she didn't just insult me. She is wearing the same color she wears on most days black; black hoodie, black jeans and black sneakers.  I was fine with her silence, with her laughter over my torment but this is too much. I'm okay with Chad doing it, he does it to other kids all the time, but Jude... this isn't her. I almost want to laugh at my stupidity, of course this is her, she is not the same Jude she was three years ago. This time the crowd doesn't laugh, instead they gasp hold their breaths, begging, daring me to say something. They are hungry for a fight, like vultures circling the potential for a showdown, a feud. I'm tempted to give them what they want. If I was skinny this wouldn't be a problem. Somehow when fat girls are seen eating it's a horrendous thing. Like we shouldn't be doing it and that's bull s**t. It's funny that satisfying a basic human need like hunger can set a bunch of teenagers running to shame me.  "What do you want from me?" I ask calmly. I know they are looking for loop holes, things to make me angry.  He doesn't get to answer because Linda swoops in like a hero, here to save the day. It kinda annoys me, I know I was looking for her only minutes ago but  this is my battle to fight. "Shut up Chad" Linda sneers. Greg is behind her as always nestling a can of beer. I'm tempted to punch the unconcerned look out of his face, can't he see we are at war here? More of  the crowd is on my side now... Linda's side. "Jude what the f**k?" Linda scolds her like a mother would a daughter. I guess since they are still friends this behavior shocks her more than it shocks me. "Just giving your sister some tips on how to lose all that" she motions to my body with her hand. My pulse quickens, I step forward "Say it" I dare her. The room is silent now, not a single breath is let out as we all wait for Jude. I see something flash in her eyes, hatred burning hot and raw, it mirrors my own. "All that fat"