I Want All of You

Anastasia’s POV I loved the way he looked at me and the way he called my name. I wanted him, I have always wanted him since the first day I laid my eyes on him. He made me feel things I had never felt before but he didn't even look at my direction or pay attention to me. I was so stupid thinking that I even stood a chance with him, he had a whole life and even a wife before he met me. But, I loved him so much and there was no point in being here if I couldn't be with the person my heart yearned for. “Stacie?” The familiar voice called from outside the room. It was Jason, the man that tickled my fantasy. “Stacie, can I come in?” He called out again. I strained my eyes to see what time it was on the wall clock and it was already 8 pm. My legs were too weak to walk so I just laid there on the floor, drunk and wasted. I didn't want to be in this life anymore, I wanted to leave this whole messy situation and go meet my mother in peace. So I just laid there and closed my eyes waiting for what I knew would come next. I heard my room door get broken. He finally found a way to get into my room, just like he found a way to get into my heart, my soul and my mind. “Stacie, darling, can you hear me!” “Look at me, open your eyes, Stacie, please stay with me!” He was shaking me and calling out for me, he was there beside me just like I've always wanted but my mouth couldn't bring itself to reply. I tried to open my eyes a little and he looked devastated and perhaps scared, but why should he look scared, after all, he told me point blank that he didn't want to see me ever again. This was what he wanted, to see me out of his life so why the hell is he crying and acting like he cared. “Please Stacie, don't leave me like this. I love you so much, please, I can't afford to lose you again.” Again? Was there a before? I don't remember dating Jason at any point in my life so what did he mean by again. Why is he telling me that he loved me now? Why now when it was already too late? I wanted to tell him that I loved him too but I really couldn't speak. This was it. This was the end of my life. I managed to look at Jason one last time before closing my eyes. *********** *Let’s rewind* “Good morning dad!” I said as I walked down from the stairs to the dining table and gave my father a peck on the cheeks. He looked like he was on a call but cut it as soon as he saw me approaching. “Good morning sweetie!” He pulled me into a hug. “So dad,” I continued and sat down beside him, “have you spoken to Uncle about the arrangement?” “Yes my dear, I have. Everything has been sorted out.” He held my hands then asked in a low voice, “but sweetie, do you really have to move all the way to another country to pursue your dreams?” “Aw, dad?” I pouted, “I’m twenty-three now and I need to chase my dreams. I thought we have already talked about this dad?” “I know we have, I will just miss my dear daughter too much you know I would be all alone especially as your mother is no longer with us.” He sighed and looked away. Life has been really hard ever since my mum left us. It was just my dad and I in this big empty mansion filled with househelps and bodyguards. And even though I felt really guilty about it, I had to move away and pursue my dream career of being an actress. I looked at my dad and held both of his hands. “Dad, you know you can always come with me right? You don’t have to stay here all alone. Plus, all your families and friends are in New York, you wouldn’t feel alone even when I’m not home.” But Dad didn't budge, I knew he was too attached to our home here in Toronto and the memories it carried. This is basically where we built our lives as a family together and I get it. “Okay, if you don't want to come with me, you can always come visit. The flight doesn't take up to two hours.” “I know my love.” He finally said. “I also know you would be in very safe hands over there in New York. My closest friend Jason will definitely look after you.” I couldn't help but feel excited about the fact that I get to see Jason. It had been four years since I last saw him and it would be really nice to see him again. I have always liked Jason since I was young and although he is like an uncle figure to me and has never regarded me as anything other than his little niece, I couldn't help but feel some type of way about him. Maybe it's just because he always gave the best gifts and cracked the funniest jokes. “You're fine with staying with your uncle right?” My dad said, interrupting my thoughts. “Y-yes, why wouldn't I be fine with it dad, Uncle Jason is the best.” My dad scoffed “ I thought I was the best?” “Well, you are the best dad, and Jason is the best uncle.” I smiled and laughed, my dad following suit. Just then, there was a knock on the door, my dad ordered that the person be let in and it was his assistant, James. He looked tense and anxious, a behavior that was rarely displayed by him. “Sir, we have an issue.” “What is it?” “Well, you see, you see—” “You see what James?! Speak up!” My dad said becoming impatient. But James moved closer to my dad and whispered something in his ears. My dad's eyes widened in shock and he started to turn his head around in confusion. “No, no! That can't be” my dad said repeatedly. “Dad? Dad? What's the problem dad?” But he didn't acknowledge my question and continued acting up. “Dad, you have to calm down. James! What the hell did you tell him?” James shaked his head, signaling that he couldn't disclose what information he had shared with my dad. My dad’s fingers started to tremble, he clutched at his shirt, and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Dad was having a heart attack and before I knew it, he fell from his seat and collapsed on the floor. “Dad!!!” I moved to my dad and held his head, “dad, dad, no, no no.” “Don't just stand there James, call the f*****g ambulance!!!” I screamed at James, who stood there looking shocked.