Infinite Bonds

Chapter 1

“Fallon” I hear my Nana call me. I roll out of bed and touch the wetness on my cheeks. This is not the first time my dreams have claimed me. I feel a physical ache in my chest, and I rub it with hopes it will subside. Now the rest of my day will be spent reliving the euphoric pain from how real these dreams are. I cannot even call them dreams they feel like memories. My Nana always said I have an old soul. Every time I asked her about Drea and Ailith she gets a sadness in her eyes. She tries to mask it, but she cannot hide it from me. No one can hide anything from me. She tries to smile but her smile never touches her eyes. I let it go because I can feel that it causes her physical pain too.

“Fallon” I hear her shout with more urgency.

“I am coming Nana” I say as I try to unroll myself from the cocoon that I have made with my blanket. My hair is a tangled mess, but I do not have much time to manage it. I look at the cooper mass and quickly pin it to the top of my head in a messy bun. I take a quick glance and mentally prepare myself for the day. Not only will I have the lingering sadness from my memories, but I must deal with all the emotions of every one of my pack members throughout the entire day. I try to put my game face on. Pack life has been excruciatingly hard for me for as long as I can remember. I have a huge gap in my memories. I do not remember anything before the age of six. I get these feelings sometimes, but they wash right through me. I grab a t-shirt and throw on some comfy joggers. I grab my favorite converse and head off to the pack house kitchen.

“Morning Nana” I say as I stuff my mouth with some muffins that were sitting on the counter fresh from the oven. I can barely swallow them as the warmness hits my throat. The warmth from the muffin gives me solace.

“Fallon how many times have I told you not to take the muffins off the counter when they have just come out of the oven?” My Nana scolds me but I can hear the laughter underneath.

“Sorry Nana” I say with a little conviction.

“They just smell so good” I smile, and she just nods as she continues preparing the rest of the meal for the pack.

“Stop wasting time you know you have many chores to do before you head to school and pack exercises” I nod my head and scurry off to begin what feels like hell if I am being honest. I have many chores. Our pack isn’t one of the riches pack, but we have many members and our Alpha John runs it like a well-oiled machine. Every member has a job and unfortunately, I am low on the totem pole, so my jobs are the most mundane and physically exhausting. My only consolation is that I hope I get to see “Him” today. I am 17 and soon to be 18. My hope is that on my 18th Birthday when my True Mate is finally revealed to me that the mystery boy who I get wonderful rendezvous within my dreams day and night will be my one and True Mate. I don’t have any friends and since as long as I can remember my “Mystery Boy” has always been there. We are best friends. We tell each other secrets. We have played together, sang songs, told stories, and secrets. There is nothing that we don’t share. Since I turned been 17, I haven’t seen my “Mystery Boy” as often. I guess he is life is full. Too full to spend time as much time with me unlike me and my empty life.  I do not know his name, but I don’t need to I know his complete embodiment. We have so much in common including a strange birth mark in the center of our chests. The birth mark is almost etched in our skin. It is discolored and looks like an infinity sign. I subconsciously rub the center of my chest as I think about it. It is strange and no one can explain to me what it is or how long it has been there. Every time I asked about it, I get called some silly name. Or whatever they can think of that means stupid.

I begin my chores with cleaning the pack bathrooms. I really hate the bathrooms that is why I clean them first. I don’t rush through my chores I do not want to be reprimanded. I take pride in my work and do it to the best of my ability. Once the bathrooms are fully disinfected, I head to the stables and begin mucking the stalls of the various animals that are kept on pack property. I pass our Alpha John and his Luna May and give them a deep bow. I have full respect for Alpha John and Luna May. I hear Luna May say “Wow Fallon you sure are growing into a beautiful young lady. Isn’t her birthday next week?” I am smiling when I hear her but then I realize she didn’t say that out loud. She was only thinking it. So, I politely say. “Good Morning Alpha John and Luna May.” They nod and smile and move past me to the pack house because breakfast will soon be served. I do not eat breakfast with everyone else. I do not even get to spend time with pack mates my own age except when we go to exercises or school. None of my classmates dare speak to me. I feel very close to them all regardless because I have lived a thousand lives through there thoughts and memories.

            When my chores are finally done, I head into the pack dinning room and grab what remains which isn’t much, but I am grateful anyways. Everyone is leaving and heading of to start their day. So, I sit down to enjoy the delicious meal that I know my Nana has lovingly prepared. I enjoy the silence, but I grimace slightly when a pack member who I know is my age slinks past me. She must have forgotten to leave quickly like everyone else. She does not speak out loud, but I hear her thoughts clearly. “Why do I have to be the last one in the dinning room and why do I have to see Fallon? She creeps me out. She is exotic but she always has this far away look in her eyes that says she knows more then she says. Why doesn’t she just leave already? I don’t know how she has stayed this long no one wants to be around her.” I try to swallow my food but there is a lump in my throat. Even though I know how my pack members feel about me it still hurts to be rejected this way. The only love I have ever known has been from my dreams or from my Nana when she has time to hold me. I am grateful for what I have but its so painful to be this alone. I think back to my last encounter with my “Mystery Boy”

            He is laying on a bed with his hands behind his head I am laying in the opposite direction and our elbows are touching. The electricity that zings through my body makes it hum. I am comforted by the currents. My heart is full, and I feel a peace I have never known. It takes an eternity before we speak. When he does speak for the first time I am hypnotized by his voice. It has such a delicious melody and cadence. It never matters what he says even if its rudimentary my inner soul is fulfilled. Is this what it will be like when I finally meet my “True Mate” I wonder what my Wolf will be like? Will she like me? What will we have in common?” I turn away from my inner chaos and focus on the words he is saying to me.

“Did you have a good day today?”

“It was the same as always until now” I feel the heat hit my cheeks and he closes his eyes as if my voice imprisons him the same way.  I hear him hum.

“I could spend my whole life just listening to you.” He never opens his eyes, but his words carry a moving charge straight through my body until it makes a station in the pit of my stomach. I let the fervor linger until I feel as if my whole body is on fire. We have never had an encounter this intense. Every time we meet like this now the energy is palpable. So much so now that I feel as if I might burst into flames. I wonder what it would feel like if we kissed. I am overwhelmed with delicious pain of the thought as it leaves me in torment. We have never spoke of such things but deep on the inside I know it will cause some sort of combustion. I revel in the flames as they lick my body all over. Just as he was about to speak again, I am pulled physically from the encounter.

“Fallon? Fallon? Do you hear me calling you?” Its my Nana I love her to death, but I could honestly assassinate her right now. I still have those delectable flames licking my body and I can still feel the tingles where our elbows were touching. My face is full of heat and I have a light perspiration covering my skin. I touch my chest where our matching marks reside. There is a visible glow. There has never been a glow there before. I blink my eyes to clear my vision and when I open them all that remains is the mark. I still feel heat on my mark.  I feel a little dizzy when I try to sit up and a purple haze flashes in front of my eyes. It feels like an out of body experience almost if I was physically not here. I shake the thoughts. I must be losing my mind.

I put my hand on the nightstand to steady myself and help feel grounded and then I grit my teeth and stand. I still feel shaky, but I answer my persistent Nana’s call. I wish I had someone I could talk to so I could not feel so isolated. I feel as though I am the only one in the entire world who has these experiences. Its no wonder no one in the pack wants to be around me and cannot look me in the eye. I am a freak and swallow the bile in my throat. I feel a heat sensation in the strange birth mark on my chest and it calms me. I look at myself in the mirror straighten my bed head and plaster a smile on my face. It is my resolution. I will never let anyone in this pack or anywhere else know the hurtful burden I carry with me.