Days of Darkness

Chapter 27

I was out walking with Teegan. She had found a stick and decided it was perfect for hitting bushes and tree trunks. She now had a vocabulary of about ten words, 'juice' being her favorite. She would point to the refrigerator and say it over and over until we got her some apple juice. Honestly, I had no idea why she didn't have constant diarrhea. Natalie and I had a devil of a time trying to get her to drink milk once in awhile.

Teegan was busy knocking the browning leaves off a bush when the thought struck me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I had to wrack my brain until I could remember the number. I had lost all my contacts in the rental truck a lifetime ago. After two wrong numbers, I found it.

"Hi mom," I said when the familiar voice answered.

"Sammy!" my mom cried. I could hear tears in her voice.

"It's been a while since I called," I said, "Sorry."

"I thought you might be dead," my mom admitted, the sobbing mixing with the words. "The FBI searched the house, and the news said you had some disease. Then nothing. Nobody would tell me anything."

"I'm fine, Mom," I said, trying to calm her. "The feds had it all wrong. They were trying to find me for a different reason."

"I'm sober," my mom interjected with some force, "for 213 days now."

"That's great," I responded slowly. The quick change in topic caught me by surprise.

"You can come and see me now," she begged. "I won't embarrass you anymore." I pulled the phone away from my ear as my throat knotted and my eyes watered. Teegan felt the change in me and stopped torturing the bush. I was a s**t of a son. Thoughts of Teegan and our next child, had me ignoring what I already had.

"Please don't hang up," I heard my mom beg when I didn't respond. I regained some composure and pulled the phone back to me ear.

"I'm not hanging up," I slobbered out. I cleared my throat and tried to regain the conversation. "Are you going to meetings?"

"Every week," my mom said quickly, "twice when things get hard. I have a really good sponsor this time. She's been sober for ten years. You know, I could always visit you if you can't get away." Her mind was trying to cram a one-hour conversation into a few seconds. There was so much she needed to say.

"Mom!" I said to get her to stop, "I love you too." This time, I clearly heard the crying. I must have really crapped on her to make her think otherwise. I don't know why I did what I did, maybe I was embarrassed about her drinking, maybe I didn't want an obvious reminder of my failings.

"Mom?"

"Sammy," my mom cried, "I missed you so much. You're the only thing in this world worth anything to me. I thought I pushed you too far away."

"I think we both did a bit a pushing," I admitted.

"When can I see you?" Mom pushed. I smiled at the desperation in her voice. It was so good to know I was important to her. It felt better than I would have expected.

"I'm not sure," I replied, "soon I hope. A lot has happened since we last spoke." I was probably ten years old the last time I had a long conversation with my mother. The last conversation we had was an argument that convinced me to write her off. Now, I wanted nothing but to tell her everything. I wanted her to be proud. I wanted a mother again. I told her everything she would understand.

"So, are you marrying Natalie?" my mother asked when I explained I was to be a father. I almost laughed at the thought. It wouldn't matter, the way we were hiding and the fact I thought of her as a wife already. "If she's half of what you describe, she deserves your promise." she continued when I didn't respond.

"She does," I admitted, "she deserves that and more. I already know her answer, but I'll ask her as soon as I can get a ring."

"Don't take her for granted. She might say no," my mother said, not understanding the bond that Teegan afforded us.

"We have more honesty than most couples," I said, "but I promise I won't ever take her love for granted." Teegan took that moment to whack me with her stick. It wasn't hard, just a pay-attention-to-me smack. I bent down and picked her up, and she started a rendition of "da da."

"Is that Teegan?" my mom asked with a smile in her voice.

"Yep. I think she felt a little left out," I replied.

"She sounds lovely. Put the phone to her ear." I did and smiled as Teegan's face became all serious. I had no idea what my mother was saying, but Teegan sure found it interesting. Suddenly, Teegan broke into a rendition of her second favorite word, 'ball.' I moved the phone back to my ear.

"I think she likes your voice," I said, holding tight to my girl as she bounced excitedly in my arms.

"I have some vacation saved up," mom said, "I can come see you and meet Natalie and Teegan."

"It's kind of rustic here," I said, "we're looking for a house, but right now we are living in a two room cabin."

"Sammy, I want to see you," Mom said with desperation. I only meant to warn her of the accommodations, not try to decline the visit.

"If you have pen, I'll give you the address." She was surprised I was in North Dakota. I grew up in warm, no hot, environments. It didn't deter her at all.

"I'll leave tomorrow, and I'll be there the next day," mom promised, "you don't know how happy this will make me."

"Any chance you won't call me Sammy while you're here?" I asked.

"Sorry," Mom replied, "you'll always be Sammy to me." There was a loving humor in her voice. It warmed me to hear it. I had my mother back. We said our goodbyes, both of us trying not to hang up first. I eventually gave in when Teegan struggled to get out of my arms and continue our walk through the forest.

"She's coming here?" Natalie asked, her eyes wide in terror.

"Yes," I replied a little dumbfounded.

"In two days?" I nodded, wondering what the problem was.

"Well, we'll have to clean," Natalie said with her hands on her hips, "will start with the second bedroom. Do you think she'll like me? We'll need more groceries. We can move Teegan's crib back out to the main room and free up a few drawers in the dresser." I had never seen Natalie nervous before. For some reason, I found it enjoyable. A woman that was the epitome of confidence reduced to a rambling fool.

"She thinks we should be married," I added. I had no idea why I wanted to add to the pressure. It was just fun to think I had the upper hand on sanity for once.

"If that was a proposal, It sucked," Natalie said with a tinge of anger. I lost my smile. She was beyond nervous. There was a darkness about her. "you spring this crap on me at the last minute then you think it's a good time to tease me."

"My mother is not crap," I said, louder than necessary. I stood firmly like I expected a fist fight.

"She's a drunk," Natalie screamed, "now I have to have her in my..." I saw her face redden as she covered her mouth. I could see her shame building as my anger dripped away from me. I closed my eyes and found Teegan in the ether of our minds. It had become easier over the months, this time, it was a tool. I packaged up my sorrow and wrapped it in a thick cloak of love and exploded it with such force; China would know if they could listen.

Natalie moved forward quickly and lifted Teegan into her crib. I was surprised at how Teegan laid down for a nap as if ordered. She had given up naps months ago. Natalie grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. The look in her eyes broached no disagreement.

What followed was the most erotic two hours of my life. I was practically taken by force. Never had I felt so thoroughly out of control of a situation in my life. Natalie was driven by an insatiable desire to remind me of her love in the most forcible way possible. Twice I tried to gain dominance. Twice I was thwarted by her uninhibited l**t. Once, she even grabbed my hair to hold my head to the pillow while she devoured my lips. I decided that using my strength would ruin the mood. I was never one for immediate repeat performances, but she was so damn convincing. I was her toy, and I could find nothing to complain about.

"That's better," Natalie sighed. She had buried her head in the shoulder and wore a conquering smile.

"Much better," I agreed, "was that makeup s*x?"

"Oh no," Natalie said, "that was me winning the argument after you cheated." I raised my eyebrows at her. "You used our daughter to placate me. It was insulting so I showed you what for."

"It felt like I won," I laughed. Her hand dropped between my legs and grabbed some parts a little more firmly than recommended. "Then again, I was definitely in the wrong about something."

"Don't ever tease a pregnant woman," Natalie said as she released my manhood.

"Or get in better shape before I do," I joked. I ran my hand through her hair, caressing the back of her neck. I loved when she lay on me. I felt closer, and I liked how she seemed so comfortable there. I made one hell of a pillow.

"I needed more warning," Natalie admitted, "My hormones are racing, and you hit me with your mother visiting." She took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry I called her a drunk. I suddenly felt inadequate, and I was compensating."

"She was a drunk," I said softly, "she's been sober for almost a year now. We had a long talk, and one thing led to another. I'm sorry I didn't ask, but she seemed so motherly."

"What was that feeling you flung at me?"

"An apology, I guess," I said, shrugging my shoulders.