My System Harem

I thought love would be the sweetest feeling ever. I thought that with it, I'll be able to continue living despite my family's despising looks towards me. I believed in the love that kept me alive. But no, it was just misery in the form of love. What if I didn't accept him? What if I didn't deny my own assumptions? What if I just stopped the moment it started to hurt? Then would I have avoided this situation? Would I have avoided getting kicked out and left with nothing but my aching heart? These questions kept flooding my head. And I can't help it. Everything I thought was true turned out to be a lie. If only I have been more doubtful, if only I had asked these questions earlier. But it is far too late. Everything is gone. Even my hardworked money, my company, and everything that I sacrificed my health for. Would I have been able to keep it if I just stopped acting foolish? If I just stopped believing in love? Darius was my boyfriend for 7 years. He was with me all throughout my college. He was there when I thought I won't be able to continue. He was there when I didn't have my family to run to, when I didn't have anyone on my side. He appeared the moment I needed someone, and I thought he was the blessing I needed. All throughout our 4 years in Summit University, we were never known as a couple. And to be honest, I never doubted anything. He was the one who asked me not to tell anyone, and to keep our relationship a secret. At first, I wondered why. He pursued me for 5 whole months, but he is afraid of telling anyone? As someone who have never been in a relationship, I had a lot of questions. So I naturally asked him that, and of course, I still remember. "Why do we need to hide it? Aren't we in a relationship now?" I had no idea what my face looked like, but I probably looked so innocent, as I could not answer the questions by myself. However, his answer came with a little stutter. "W-Well, I don't want anyone to take you away from me. You know how some people here just wanted everything I have, a-and I'm afraid they might take you away from me as well." I understood his answer. In fact, it was something that commonly happens to guys like him. Once they own something, the rest wanted to have a taste, and even their partner suffers from the disdainful look of other women. Although he kept avoiding my eyes, I didn't doubt him. Because his answer was all that mattered to me. To the point where I couldn't care less about other things. It was my first time falling inlove, and he made efforts in all the 5 months he pursued me. He would always wait for my class to end, and he would always offer to give me a ride home. But just like always, our relationship was hidden. In fact, no one in the campus probably noticed that we even talked. Because in their eyes, we were nothing but strangers. The only time we can hang out publicly is when my step-sister, Lyra, is there. However, it was always both of them walking side by side, while I always walked behind. People even wondered if they were in a relationship, and none of the two admitted nor denied it. But to everyone? Something was going on between the two of them. And it hurts, it really did. To witness the two of them looking so close from behind, and to hear false rumors but can't even tell them the truth. Because I did not want to place our relationship at risk, and I don't want to ever disappointment him. I did ask Darius why Lyra has to come, when he knows full well that I don't get along with my family—worse with Lyra. But once again, he would make me feel special with his answer. "Did I make you feel unseen? I'm sorry, Caelia. I just wanted to spend time with you more, so I have to bring your sister to cover it up. But if you don't like it, then I will stop. But wouldn't our time together decrease?" He answered while holding my hands. His head dropped and he looked sad. But I couldn't tell which part made him sad. Is it the part that we won't be able to spend more time together? Or that they won't be able to walk side by side anymore? Because how come he is not afraid of the rumors going on between the two of them? But he is afraid when it involved me. But seeing him pout about the idea that we would spend less time made me better. It made me feel like he really cared for me. So I let that thought go, which I really hope I didn't. Because as time went by, the two of them walked together without me. He would offer her a ride and disguised it as him doing so because we lived in the same house. But how come she is the one sitting in front? How come I'm always the one behind? The 4 years we spent in Summit University didn't feel that great. Because for all those years, the rumors did not subside, and they even became the lovely couple in other's eyes. And yet again, they would never admit nor deny that. And me? I continued to walk behind them, I continued to sit in the cafeteria opposite them, and I continued to sit behind the car. But I couldn't complain, because Darius never failed to comfort me. He never failed to answer my questions in a way that made me feel secured—as if he truly cared for me. And when he proposed to me? I felt like I was in cloud nine. It was the first time I felt like I was the luckiest person on earth. I even thought that perhaps the reason why I experienced all of those painful events in my life was for this. For me to finally feel loved, because it was waiting for me the entire time. And it was there, right by my side. But... should I have not become too complacent? Should I have not drowned myself with that kind of feeling? Should I have not expected more? Then it would not have cost me pain. It would not have made me doubt about the happiness I felt. It would not have made me feel worthless. He was my only hope—my only salvation. He was the only light I had when even my family refused to acknowledge me. But why does he keep choosing Lyra over me? Why does he keep taking care of her when I am his fiancee? Just why? Even when we moved to his house, even when I was there—Lyra followed. She was invited as if she was part of the engagement, as if the rumors back in the campus were not just fragments of their imagination, but a reality. She continued to follow us, like a plague, and I couldn't push her away because I always end up being in the wrong. I always end up being the perpetrator. Why did Darius even propose to me? When the one he always took care of wasn't me, but my step sister? Why did he even pursue me if he was just going to hang out more with Lyra? Why did he hide our relationship but never denied the rumors surrounding them? Just why? Even when I asked him why Lyra has to be in the house that was meant only for us, again, he answered in a way that made me feel secured. As if it was really for me. "Did I make you feel unseen? I'm sorry, Caelia. I just thought that you might not get used of staying here when you are far from your family. So I brought Lyra here so that you won't need to miss them that much." It was the perfect answer. As if a script written in advance. But did he forgot? Or did he untentionally forget? The things I told him, my misery inside the house who completely ignored me. How my family treated me, how they would always give Lyra everything I have, and how Lyra always steal them. Has he forgotten? All the times he comforted me with his words, the times I thought I finally had someone to run to. But has he forgotten? Or did he intentionally forget? Why would I miss the family who refused to acknowledge me, the very family who broke me into pieces. Just when did it all began? Just when did he start acting like that? Was it the moment he suggested Lyra be with us everytime we hang out? Or was it the moment he started to invite her to eat with us? Was it when he offered her a ride? Or was it even far longer than that? Then have I been fooling myself the entire time? Did I step right into their trap? If they hadn't told me, would I have continued to believe his lies? Would I have continued to fall further? So that day, my death was already in the palm of their hands.