Rejected and Abused

Chapter 6

After getting the boys fed and bathed they begged me to sing them a song I have a decent voice but I only sing for my brothers and since I know they wont go to sleep until I do as they ask so I hand the boys my phone so they can pick a song they want me to sing while I arrange my pillows on the bed so all three of us can sleep comfortably mainly its so I don't get a elbow to the face or knee to my ribs and with the king size bed I have in my room it is easier for me to achieve my goal once the bed is made I go to my bag with some of my stuff in it and grab my lavender oil and put some behind the boys ears in order for them to relax "whyyyyyy sissy why do you always put this oil on us we smell like girls we are boys rememmmbbbeeerrrr" sings Marcus in his little smart ass voice wiggling his eye brows "well my sweet pain in the butt little brother you can either do what I say with no complaining or you can go sleep in your room alone and Kevin and I will sleep in here would you prefer that hmmmmm" I say while trying to keep on a serious face I would never in a million years send him to sleep alone but he doesn't need to know that "no sissy I don't want that please don't send me away" I see Marcus silently start to shed tears and my heart instantly breaks and I swoop him up in my arms I look over at Kevin and he isn't paying the least bit of attention to what Marcus and I have been talking about he is to busy looking threw my phone for the perfect song for me to sing so I take the chance to take Marcus outside to have a quick talk I know since we were taken from my mom's he is scared that he is going to be sent away from myself and his twin my comment didn't help the situation so I figured might as well set somethings straight

I take Marcus outside on my patio and sit down on one of the chair thankfully for October it is not as cold as it normally is so we don't need a blanket or anything his head is still resting on my chest he is no longer crying I know my heartbeat has calmed him down quite a bit no one has ever understood how I can calm them down so easily not being their mother but the twins and I have always had a bond that can not be described that is one of the many reasons my mother hates me because her boys have always preferred me over her even when they were infants they never wanted to breast feed they preferred the bottle as long as it was me holding it I slowly pull Marcus from my chest so he can look in my eyes and listen to what I have to say I gently cup his cheek "alright baby boy I need you to listen to me carefully okay" he doesn't say anything he just nods his head while still looking at me with his sad eyes "baby you know I was just messing around with you I would never send you to a room alone let alone far away from me Marcus you and Kevin are my whole world it has been us three since the day you two were born, you boys are my gift from the moon goddess I always tell you that and we always play around like that it our thing so why now are you getting sad and saying things like I am going to send you away you should know I would never do that to you" I sit there quietly softly rubbing and playing with his hair he crashes his face into my chest and starts crying again I don't know what or who made him feel this way but I am now determined to find out "come on Marcus tell me what is bothering you, your always my happy little boy tell me what has made you so upset please so I can fix it or at least try" he sits up on my lap on his own this time I wipe away his tears and wait for him to calm his breathing down "tomorrow is your birthday sissy" he says in such a sad voice "yeah so baby why is my birthday making you so sad" I gently rubbing his shoulders so he can start to feel relaxed and comfortable "tomorrow your going to find your mate and you will be to worried having s*x with him to even care about me and Kevin so that means we are going to be put in a foster home and we will never see each other again I probably wont be put in the same foster home as my brother I am going to be all alone and I will have no one to love me again" his tears are starting to flow more and more and I can feel my anger rising and rising this boy is five f*****g years old what the f**k is going on!! 

I try to steady my breath and heart rate before I speak to him I do not want to get mad or yell at him its obvious to me that someone has said these things to him to poison his sweet little brain "babe who in the world has filled your head with these things and who taught you those words you know they are not nice to say you know I do not like hearing you say them you are only five and words like that aren't okay for you to be saying so please tell me who said those awful lies to you" I am trying very hard to be calm I can feel Ava growling and pacing back and forth she also feels very protective over the boys as if they were her own pups I am waiting for him to respond while he wipes his nose with the back of his hand normally I would scold him about manners or what not but right now it doesn't feel like the right time to worry about something so trivial he looks at me with his big brown eyes and I give him an encouraging smile I didn't hear Kevin walk out I felt him touch my shoulder I look over to him and pull him onto my lap adjusting Marcus they can both fit comfortably on my lap they look at each other and then back at me 'Nikki whoever said those things to Marcus also said it to Kevin' Ava chimes in I don't say anything I am trying not to loose my temper Kevin is the one to speak up he clears his throat probably trying to suppress tears and rubbing his eyes to try and hide his tears "mommy told us, she called us today and told us that tomorrow you will get your wolf and your mate and after that happens your not going to have time for us that your going to stop loving us and not take care of us anymore because once you find your mate you wont have room in your heart to love anyone else" the boys grab each others hands and squeeze them for support all I can do is hold my breath so I don't scream out of anger I can feel my eyes changing to Ava's eyes the boys didn't get scared this isn't the first time they have seen my eyes change they just think its a normal thing for me when I get upset we sit there in silence for awhile they look at me at I am trying very hard to calm myself so I look towards the trees and allow the cold breeze to calm my rage I don't look at the boys when I start to speak I know if I do I will lose my temper and I don't want them to think that they are the reason why I am so angry "boys who let you speak to her, she is on house arrest and isn't supposed to be getting in touch with you so can you please tell me who it was who let you speak to her and where was the Luna" I am praying that it wasn't the Luna or Alpha themselves "it was aunt Sharron did you know she got a job working in the pack house to be closer to us she pulled us outside while Luna Maggie was called to Alpha James's office we weren't supposed to say anything auntie said if we told you we would be punished by mommy and her" whispered Marcus my blood is f*****g boiling at this point and I all I see is blood these bitches not only lied to my boys but they f*****g threated them oh they're f*****g dead I need to get the boys to bed so I can deal with these bitches "well honestly boys we don't know for sure if I will find my mate tomorrow I will finally be able to shift into my wolf though so there is a chance that I will find my mate but its not promised only the moon goddess knows when I will find my mate she is the one who chooses our mates for us and she is the one who picks the time for us to find them its is in her control not anyone else it was wrong for mom to say such horrible things to you boys but I am even more hurt that you believe her no matter who comes into my life you boys are my world now I wont say that I wont love my mate because I probably will but no matter who or what comes into my life that doesn't mean I will stop loving you or love you any less you boys are my family my whole world and the blood that runs through your vanes runs through mine and no matter what that will never ever change I need you boys to believe that with your whole hearts because that my loves is the truth and I have never lied to you before and I don't plan on it now so regardless if I find my mate tomorrow or I don't my love for you will never die okay" they both say nothing they just lean into me and hug me I wrap my arms around them and gently kiss their heads it takes some skills I have perfected through the years to get up holding them both in my arms I walk them both to my bed and lay them down one at a time once they are both under the covers I quickly make myself to the bathroom to get a warm wash rag once I get to back to the bed I proceed to wipe and clean the boys faces the warmth of the rag calming the swelling in their little eyes from all the crying they have done I pick up my phone to send Maggie a quick text letting her know that I need to speak with her and the Alpha I stress that it is too important to wait until morning she quickly replies back letting me know they are in the kitchen with their children and when I am ready to speak to them they will be waiting for me I flip to my playlist to see which song the boys have chosen for me to sing but there isn't one I look at the boys "I couldn't find the song you always used to sing to us when we were babies remember the song that was in that movie about the Russian princess who got lost and hit her head really hard" I quickly knew which song Kevin was talking about I go through my phone to find the instrumentals to the song before pushing play I get up and locking the door to my balcony and closing the curtains I light my lavender and chamomile candles so the smell can relax them and help them sleep faster I can smell the whole Alpha family at my door I don't know why they are ease dropping but I honestly don't care I walk back to the bed and sit on the edge I press play on my phone and start to sing

"Dancing Bears

Painted Wings

Things I almost remember.

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm.

Horses prance through a silver storm.

Figures dancing gracefully across my memory.

Someone holds me safe and warm.

Horses prance through a silver storm.

Figures dancing gracefully across my memory.

Far away,

Long ago,

Glowing dim as an ember,

Things my heart

Used to know

Things it yearns to remember

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December"

once I am done with the song the boy are sleeping peacefully I fix the blanket and kiss their heads good night I can feel the Alpha family behind me when I turn around to look at them all of them have their mouths wide open looking at me like they just seen a rainbow colored unicorn with two heads I grab my room key that I put on a chain and place it around my neck slipping on my shoes and sweater once I am done I look back at them they are all still in a state of shock I walk over to them clapping my hands in all of their faces to snap them out of it once they do Maggie, Mary, and James are looking at me with surprise and pride as for Jason he's looking at me with surprise and I don't know what but its a look I have never seen from anyone before its kind of freaking me out I point to the hallway not wanting them to wake up the boys when everyone is out of my room I do another look around the room to make sure there's no window unlocked and no way anyone can get in without my room key I lock the door and shut it behind me. Once I turn around I look at the Alpha and Luna my godparents "oh Nikki you have a beautiful voice why didn't you ever tell anyone that you can sing so beautifully" says Maggie with admiration shinning in her eyes "I never seen the point in telling anyone because I don't like singing in front of people I only sing for them it's the only way to get them to sleep peacefully unless they are completely worn out to they point where they pass out before we go and  talk in the kitchen I just want to make sure who besides me has a key to this room?" I say with my resting b***h face "only you and me Nikki usually the cleaning staff would have a key but I still haven't given it to them since I know you don't like others cleaning up after you" said James looking like he wants to ask a lot of questions "and what about the twins room?" I ask lifting my eyebrow "me, you, and the omegas who clean the pack house" James answers but I can tell he is getting irritated with my questions no one ever questions the alpha but I don't give a damn what his rank is when it comes to my brothers safety "I will move their things in with me then, they aren't safe here alone" I don't wait for a reply I start walking down the stairs towards the kitchen so I can make a smoothie I know Sharron isn't here right now and their is no way I can sneak past the guards that are at my mother's house so I can not do anything at the moment so Ava and I plan to go to the packs gym to workout out anger plus Ava wants me to wait till I shift so I can challenge them both and in order to do that I need to be stronger and the only way I will get stronger is if I push myself to be stronger. When I get to the kitchen I start pulling out some frozen fruits, spinach and coconut water throw everything in the blender and press liquify once its done I am done I start putting it in a cup I see Mary signal that she wants one too thankfully I know her well enough that she would want one so I made extra as I am pouring her smoothie is when I finally decide to talk "why did Sharron have access to the boys its not my place to say who works in the pack house or comes in and out but I don't want her around the boys" I turn around sliding Mary her smoothie "that f*****g b***h waited till you were all busy and pulled the boys outside and had them talk to my mother!!! That cunt told the boys that since tomorrow is my birthday I will find my mate and I will be too busy having s*x with my mate to even think about them that they will be put into foster homes and never see each other again and then Sharron that stupid b***h told the boys that if they told me they would be punished by her and my mother those boy were terrified Marcus would not stop crying and shaking and Kevin was shut off and  silent till I pushed them to tell me what was wrong" I am not yelling or screaming but I can feel myself shaking with rage "Alpha in 2 weeks I want to request a formal challenge to the death for both of those bitches its one thing to f*****g abuse me for all these years and let those assholes r**e me but they threatened my boys that is unforgivable I want them dead and I want to be the ones to end their lives!!" the Alpha looks pissed the Luna even more so "Nikki we never hired Sharron to work in the pack house when she put in the request we told her no because you and the boys were here we felt that you wouldn't want her snooping around in fact she was told by the Alpha and myself to not come anywhere near the pack house till the investigation with your mom was over so that b***h lied to the boys and as for your mother I will have the guards who are watching her do a full sweep of the house to find the phone she has been using and take it we are very sorry this happened to the boys but thank you for letting us know right when you found out about it so we can do what needs to be done in order to ensure your safety and the boys" Maggie says to me and just nod my head at her responds "well this makes denying Sharron's request for custody of the boys a lot easier and as for you petition to challenge them it is approved I can see that you are in fear for the well being of those boys and as Alpha and their god father I can not in good judgement let them continue to live in this pack where they can easily get to the boys and you but you do realize if they submit you can not kill them but if they do you will be the one to decide if they are banished or not does that seem fair to you" the Alpha tells me I think a moment and even though I want these bitches dead I can not go against wolf law so I just nod my head in agreement we stand their in silence for awhile till we hear a growl come from the side of us I look over and see Jason shaking with rage he's not saying anything Mary walks up to him and grabs his arm "when the f**k did you get r***d Nikki and by who why the f**k didn't you ever tell me I am your best friend  we are supposed to tell each other everything" Mary says while tears are flowing down her face "My father and the men who were banished from the pack almost six years ago now it started when I was five he didn't have anymore money to buy his drugs so he used me as his payment for drugs after a couple of years he started doing it too I didn't say anything because I was told they would kill me, my mother, and brothers once they were born, I stayed quiet after they were banished well because honestly I didn't see the point in saying anything since they were gone but the same day they were banished is when my mother started beating me on a daily basis along with a lot of people from school I was so used to being abused I didn't care who hit me anymore as long as my brothers weren't getting abused that's all that mattered to me the only reason your parents found out is because your mom and dad came over for breakfast on the twins birthday when he gave me a hug he squeezed me too hard and I screamed out earlier that morning my mom beat me up because I bought the boys a new game system she broke one of my ribs in the process of the beating and your dad's bear hug didn't help he lifted up my shirt and seen all the bruises my mom had given me after that my mother was put on house arrest with her boyfriend until they could conduct a investigation thankful I have been recording my abuse for years just incase my mother was to kill me the Luna and Alpha would be able to take my brothers away and keep them safe, and yes Mary you are my best friend but this wasn't something I was willing to share because its not something I am proud of I was and still am ashamed of what happened to me that means the day I find my mate I have to tell him what happened to me I have to explain why I am not a virgin why I'm not pure for him and because of that I am tainted no mate wants a their woman when she's been touched by another man so that means I will either get rejected or he will keep me as his mate but will most likely never touch me and take a mistress to satisfy his urges this isn't something I ever wanted to share with anyone I don't like the pitty faces I get its annoying" I look at Jason who has yet to say anything he refuses to look at me and Mary is being hugged by her parents as she is crying why she is crying I will never understand I don't wait for anyone to say another word I have had enough of this bullshit for the night I don't even want to workout anymore this horrible excuse for a bootleg version of Days of Our Lives has wore me out I shake my head and grab my smoothie "I'm going to bed I think I have had enough drama for one night no offence goodnight Alpha family" I bow my head and walk upstairs I unlock my door and quickly lock it behind me take a quick peak at the boys to make sure they're still sleeping I grab my pjs and head into my bathroom I strip off all of my clothes and step under the steaming hot water washing away the day 'for f**k sake why does everyday have to be filled with drama for us' yells Ava 's**t your telling me chicka I just want one f*****g day with no drama or anything exciting happening honestly Ava I am really hoping tomorrow isn't the day we meet our mate I could actually go without one for a few months sorry I know that's not fair to you Ava' 'pfftt are you kidding me I have seen our future and I could do without him for a few more months too f*****g pretty boy piece of s**t' growls Ava 'you know you just said a lot about our future and from what your saying basically our life wont be a fairytale' I say to her tears pricking my eyes 'well baby girl I will say this for sure things are going to get worse before they get better but someday along time from now we will get our fairytale ending but till then stay strong for yourself and the boys learn from the pain you feel and we will be okay I love you Nikki and happy birthday' I smile from her words ' Happy birthday Ava and I love you too chicka thanks for always being there' as I step out of the shower I feel eyes on me but I don't dare to look I quickly go into my room to change once I am dressed I decide to leave my candles on so I can relax I crawl into bed with my brothers and drift off to sleep