Sweet Whiskey Nights

Charlotte I watch every man in this room and think to myself how dreadfully dull and slow each one are. The only women in here besides myself are the secretaries they’ve brought with them. As far as business goes I could run laps around all of them. They’re old, privileged, nepo babies the lot of them. I would much rather skip these useless meetings and get an e. mail. “I don’t see why we’re worrying about high end neighborhoods when we could gentrify these dying neighborhoods that barely have anyone in them. We buy for dirt cheap and end up immensely rich, it’s quite simple,” I finally blurt out. Now all eyes are on me as I wait for their answer and I can’t help but give them a look that says I’m impatiently waiting for their feeble minds to catch up. “Are you all too scared to step foot in these neighborhoods and that’s why you’re all dragging your feet on this?” I can’t help but to poke the bear on this subject. I look over at my boss to catch that twinkle in his eye, the one he gets when he knows I’m about to make him a lot of money. He gives a quick smirk before saying, “Well gentlemen, I believe she asked a question. Because I for one, agree we should jump on the opportunity to purchase while the value is down.” I can’t help but smile as I know I’ve just won. The room is all a buzz with their chatter amongst themselves and their secretaries. Those women all deserve raises not only for having to tolerate them but also because they’re the real brains behind each one of these men. “Charlie, how do you propose we go about this? Go to each building singularly and purchase? What about the residents who refuse to sell?” I do love a good challenge. I answer quickly back, “That’s an easy answer Mr. Bauers. We can either petition the city to make large land grabs or we can see if there are any liens or foreclosures we can scoop up. The residents that refuse to leave we can tell them that we’ll take over the mortgage for them and they can pay us rent. If they’ve fallen behind then we buy their mortgages out. This can be quick and easy as no one else has put in any bids and because there are no bids we can pretty much do as we want once the properties are ours. Demolition can start immediately and the buildings are so dilapidated that none will qualify for historic importance. You want country clubs and gated communities- done. Shopping centers and hotels- done. Golf courses- check please. Or we can just rebuild these communities and move in the hipsters and Gen Z’ers. Really there is no limit to what we can do.” I look each of the ten men in their eyes before looking over at my own secretary. Sam has her usual poker face on but I know she is secretly celebrating on the inside. I got lucky with her. It’s not common you can make a best friend out of an employee but it was so easy with her. I had several horrendous secretaries before her. Nightmares of women. Some of which thought because I go by Charlie in this business that I would be some sort of high dollar man willing to have a mistress. It didn’t stop a few once they realized they were working for a woman. Then came Samantha, my saving grace. She is about as cut throat and ruthless as I am towards these men and she’s incredibly intelligent and educated. I asked her to go by Sam because I’ve found in the business world we play in that it favors men. If these nepo babies think they’re doing business with men then they’re more apt to finalize agreements quickly and agreeably than when they know they’re dealing with a woman. I love seeing the looks on their faces when I show up. Sam is my right hand man and is my go to for literally anything. “So gentlemen, what’s the decision?” My boss, Mr. Edward Stark, shook each man’s hand as they walked out. Each one agreeing to invest money into the land grabs. I had sealed the deal! As always. He tells his secretary to grab him a coffee and some donuts for us as he motions for me to sit back down. “Charlie, I have some news for you and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it. I received word today that the land your mother’s house sits on is directly butted up to a piece of land we’re trying to acquire. I also found out that she’s about to go into foreclosure. Were you aware of her financial problems?” I’m sure he can tell by the shock on my face that I most definitely was not aware of the foreclosure. I am speechless so I just shake my head no. “You know I would never do anything to hurt you or your family. But I really think this would be a great opportunity to have her sell the land and property to us. I would offer her way more than what the current value is; that way she’d be secure in wherever she decided to go. I would only be doing that because of course she’s your mother. We could even promise her a house fully paid for inside the gated community we’re thinking of building there. I didn’t know that was your hometown when I started looking for investment opportunities there. But I’d really like to transform that small town into a thriving community. I have big plans for it! Shopping centers, malls, a golf course, and I was even thinking of a miniature theme park. She’d love her new retirement plan.” I am completely speechless at this point. My brain can barely keep up with what he’s saying. “I just need you to go down there and let her know we’ll take care of her and get her to sell to us.” That one sentence snapped me back to reality. “Hell no! I’m not going back to that God awful hillbilly hell I grew up in! You’re out of your mind if you think I’m ever stepping foot there again! I traded my boots for red bottoms and I’m never going back!” He was glaring at me as he ate a donut. We had come to an impasse and I was ruining my manicure with the anxiety of all of this. How dare he want me to do his dirty work for him! But worse, how dare he want me to go back there! Like hell I’ll ever go! Ridge Hill, or like I called it Ridge Hell, will never see my face again! My foot was anxiously tapping and so was the pen in my hand. I could feel sweat start to bead on my upper lip. It wasn’t until Sam spoke up that I stopped glaring back at him. “I can go with you. Instead of looking at it like a business deal you could look at it like a long over due vacation. I’m sure Mr. Stark will allow you vacation time down there that’s not taken from PTO to ensure you close the deal. And that way you can also discuss your mom’s financial affairs with her and make sure she’s okay.” She gave me that sickenly sweet smile of hers that she uses to get her way. “I certainly would give you all the time you need down there. You can even use the company credit card! It would be considered a business trip- all paid!”