Breaking My Shell

Convincing Me

The bell rung signaling telling everyone that classes were done for the day sighing out loud “ughhh I’m so glad the day is over with I don’t think I could take putting more knowledge in my brain” I say to Bear he chuckles and I pout my lips out faking like I was upset, Bear reaches up and pokes my lip back to normal and says to me “ ah ah ah put that lip back to wear it belongs no pouting, the day is over with anyways and you are coming with me tonight to the party and have a little fun it’s time to loosen up and get out of the funk you been in and I’m gonna dress you up so I don’t wanna hear any sass from you” I roll my eyes as he waves his hand in front of me and grabs my arm and starts to pull me outside towards his car “why though” I ask him “ I just wanna stay home and relax, maybe watch something or read I just got to the most interesting part of the new book I got” I whine, I don’t like to be surrounded that much it gives me hives being that crowded most days and my anxiety goes wild and even though I’ve learned techniques to help calm myself and gotten more use to things, stuff like parties can stress me out especially because I like to keep to myself and also Bear is my only friend, it’s so hard to reach out like that because of the things I went through at home and when In elementary school through middle I was bullied and felt ashamed of my appearance and my family background, it can be tuff and sometimes I get in my own head that I wasn’t that worthy of even having Bear around me, but he learned after he earned my trust what I went through and he has to helped me tremendously with talking things out and just telling him what was actually going through in my mind, he helped me go through the motions and my break downs it’s like he’s part of my soul of how much he understands, the kindness of his heart is so pure, I’d do anything for him, I’m so glad he’s apart of my life I couldn’t imagine what it would be like without him so I agree to his request because I love him so much and because he’s right I do need to get out there and true to myself, feel wild and free to feel like I was apart of something great and actually enjoy myself for once I say to him “you know what I change my mind I’m gonna go to the party, you’re right Bear, I do need this ,imma go and dance,drink and sing out loud, you know be the real me” tucking a piece of my hair back behind my ear, he looks over at me with a big smile on his face and pumps his fist in the air he shouts “yes , damn right baby girl let’s party our asses off” I laugh and we get in his car close the doors and buckle up “alright let’s go, we can shop or you pick out something sexy and I’ll even do my hair and makeup all sexy” I grin at him “let’s hope they have good tunes right cause you know I’m picky about my music” I scrunch my nose up and Bear laughs driving off to our apartment.