Rainy Day

1 - Cafe Y/n's POV Day: 13. 09. 2018 Time: 11:35 AM What is love? The best thing in the world or a way of hurting yourself? Why is so painful? Why can't I move on? Why does everyone needs to leave me? Those were the questions that I was asking myself while I was sitting in a cafe. I was waiting for my order and was look through the window that was next to me. I could see many happy faces, I could see couples that looked really happy, but for me all of this is just a torture. All the love is giving me just pain. All the beautiful things make me hate myself for being who I am. Why was I even born? To be loved by someone or to be hated by everyone? I could easily answer that. I was and I still am hated by everyone. Why? Even I myself don't know the answer. Maybe people see me as a mistake? Maybe they see me as one dark stain in this world? But I wouldn't know that. I'm to scare to ask or talk with them. Suddenly the waitress spoke and took me back from my thoughts to the cruel reality. "Here you go miss. Enjoy it!" She said with a smile and a happy voice. Why is she happy? There is nothing worth smiling? But I'll never understood them and their happiness. "Thank you." I said in monotone voice and a fake smile that I learn from a really young age. Time was passing by and I haven't even touch my drink. It was getting cold, but I didn't mind, my soul is cold too and there was nothing that could make it worm. More time passed and I finally started drinking my cold cappuccino. It didn't tasted the best but I hate all other drinks. I was enjoy my time in the cafe. But who am I kidding? I can't enjoy this life. I'm just a mistake, that's what everyone said. You are one big mistake. That's how I grow up. Being that ugly, silly and stupid girl that was hated and beaten by everyone. Even her own family. But again even tho she was tortured she loved her family. She loved spending time with them, even if they were saying s**t about her. She loved them and that's why she was trying to impress them. But nothing was good enough. Nothing was as she wanted. That small girl that was me was always scolded by her family for not being the daughter they wanted. And that's why they made another child that can change me, that can be better me. And as that other girl was born or should I say my sister they completely forget about me. Whatever that so called sister of mine wanted she would get it in a blink of an eye. But I? Oh, I was just their maid. The girl that they could laugh for being stupid. The girl that was a mistake. I was growing up knowing that a was brought to this world by accident. That was hurting me everyday. It was breaking my heart. But as days, mounts and years passed by, that heart that was hurt suddenly stopped. That heart couldn't take that pain, so it shattered into million pieces. But no one care. No one was interested in that girl that was living miserably. Why? Because she had money. Because she was rich. But for her that money was nothing, that money couldn't cure her broken heart, that money couldn't make her happy. And day by day, that heart that was broken became cold. She changed completely. Her personality. Her looks. Everything was change. And that little happiness that she head in her eyes was gone forever. But no one noticed that. No one noticed her change. No one cared about her. But that wasn't hurting her anymore, she had enough pain. Even tho I thought that, there was always someone to prove me wrong and to tell me how useless I am. My depression was getting bigger and bigger everyday. The days were getting darker but no one believed me. They were all say that I was doing that to gain attention, that I was just acting. Of course that wasn't true but no one was there to listen to my story. No one was there to hear my voice. They were all just judging me by the money and fame my family had, if I can even called them family. Suddenly my vision got blurred. As I touched my face I could feel tears. I wipe them as fast as I could and continue steering through the window and sipping from my drink.