Future Lost

5

The madness in his eyes vanishes and he studies my face, his thumb slowly stroking my skin. “You’re right,” he says softly. “I’ve become a little obsessed, but I’d never do anything to jeopardize our future together.” He pulls me into his arms, wrapping his warmth around me. “I’m sorry.”

I lean against him and hold him close, my fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, my breath against his neck. The relief I always feel in his arms is still there, but so is a knot of anxiety that’s become all too common these days. I want to believe him. I really do. I just don’t know how.

His hand slides up and down my back. “I love you, Elena. I’m going to make everything right. I promise.”

I tilt my head up to him, meeting his eyes. “I love you too.”

He cracks a smile. “This isn’t how I wanted our one-year anniversary to go. I should have brought you flowers.”

“I wasn’t sure if we were even going to celebrate it.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“We have a lot of bad memories associated with that day.” It’s not a coincidence I made sure I’d be at the shooting range today, and it wasn’t an accident that I spent an extra hour at kickboxing this morning.

I met Adam one year ago when we went to the future together, but I also lost two friends that day and saw things I’ll never be able to forget. I couldn’t save Trent and Zoe, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I’d give anything to be able to redo that day, to make better choices, to be able to save their lives.

“That’s true, but meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Adam says. “I may not have gotten you flowers, but I did get you something else.”

“You did?”

He removes a small black box from his jeans and presses it into my palm. I slide the lid open and find a silver origami unicorn, like the one he gave me before, like the one tattooed on my arm, only this one is made of metal and is attached to a thin chain. I lift the necklace from the box and spot an inscription on the bottom.

In every future, it’s you.

I rarely cry, but this makes my eyes well up with emotion. “Adam …Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

“You like it?”

“I love it. But I didn’t get you anything. I’m sorry.”

“You set up the party tonight with the others. That was the perfect gift.” He takes the necklace and sets it around my neck, then I lift my hair so he can clasp it behind me. “I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, but I’ll try to do better. Just give me a chance to make things right.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I say, spinning around to face him. “You’re stuck with me for the next thirty years and beyond, remember?”

He presses his lips to my forehead. “I wouldn’t want to live a single one of them without you.”

I slide my arms around his neck, pulling him toward me. His mouth trails soft kisses down my face, dusting my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, before brushing against my lips ever so softly. He silently asks my permission and I open for him, inviting him inside, drawing him closer. His hands tighten around my waist, and he captures my mouth with his, while my fingers weave into the back of his hair. He kisses me like a man who’s been lost at sea for months and has finally returned home, and I kiss him back like the woman who’s been waiting every night at the shore for him.

It’s been weeks since he’s kissed me like this, and I can’t get enough. My earlier anger and annoyance with him are gone, transformed into a desperate need and an urgent hunger. He seems to feel the same because he backs me up against the kitchen counter, his hands sliding under the back of my shirt, our bodies pressed tight against each other. He lifts me up onto the counter, my knees on either side of his hips, while he reminds me with his mouth that I’m his and he’s mine. Down my neck. Across my collar. Between my breasts.

Both of our shirts hit the tile floor, but it’s not enough. With my legs around his waist, he picks me up, carrying me into the bedroom. His body is rock hard against mine, his chest toned from all the swimming he does to clear his head. I remove his glasses and drop them on the nightstand as we pass by it, and then we sink onto the bed together.

For the next hour we lose ourselves in each other and forget everything but the way it feels to be together. We revel in the promise of our shared destiny together, in the certainty of knowing there’s no one else in the world for us. No matter what happens in the future, we’ll be together, following the path that leads to our company, our marriage, our daughter. And when we lie in bed afterward and Adam tells me he’ll love me forever and that everything will be okay, I believe him.

Even though I shouldn’t.

THURSDAY

When I wake the next morning, the other side of the bed is empty.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. It’s not the first time I’ve woken to find Adam already gone. I just hoped, after last night, that it wouldn’t happen today. I wanted to wake up in his arms, to kiss him good morning, to share those first few moments between sleep and wakefulness. But nothing he said last night has made it into the faded light of dawn, and everything’s the same as it was before.