Guilt

1396 Words
Oliver Bodhi was dead. I couldn’t believe it. Luna Sally was waiting, sobbing when we drove back in my betas car. Claire had been sobbing into my chest the whole this while I has just stared out the window. I just felt numb. Stood beside Sally, Lachlan was begging her to use her powers. “It doesn’t work like that, I’m not a healer. He is gone, … my son is gone.” as she tried to break down. Ruben stood beside Iris, but I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t feel like I could impose on their family’s grief but he had felt like my brother too. The three of us had been quite close and if Lachlan hadn’t already marked him for gamma I would have stolen him. I couldn’t look at Iris as everything time I did I saw the haunted look from the fight. I needed a release so grabbed Claire’s hand and led her to my room. As we got to my bed I told her to strip. As I closed my eyes to kiss her Iris’s horror stricken face flashed before my eyes. Stopping abruptly I turned Claire over and pushed her down onto the bed so her ass was in the air. Briefly fingering her p***y I could feel how wet she was for me but I couldn’t shake the imagine of Iris from my head. Waiting to chase her from my head I pulled my c*** into Claire and pounded her, taking manager out on her p****. Her groans of encouragement when I pulled on her hair got me close enough to find some release as I came over her back. Feeling even worse, with that haunted look on Iris’s face still burned into the back of my eyes I wanted to be alone. “Leave” I snapped at Claire immediately feeling guilty at the whimper that she tried not to let escape. Quickly she re dressed and left. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes images of Bodhi lying in a pool of and Iris’s horror struck face swimming in my mind to the backdrop of screaming. I must have dosed of as I was awoken by my father entering the room. “Come to my office we need to talk.” Jackson As I walked into Alpha Rupert office Dad and Alpha Hamish were stood beside him. Lachlan and Ruben were sat in the corner. I took a seat in the other corner and next came in Oliver. “Now you are all here we can start” began Alpha Rupert. “What happened?” There was silence so I decided to speak, for us all. “The girls called as they thought they were being followed but as we were taking them home we were ambushed by wolves trying to take the girls. Thea was in Lachlan’s car and they nearly got her but Bodhi managed to get her safe but was injured before he could get away.” I explained. “Thankfully Luke had decided to follow us so he arrived fairly quickly but as we were distracted by dealing with Bodhi, the attackers got away. I paused then decided to continue “ I think they know about Iris, double the number of wolves attacked Lachlan’s car, presumably expecting her to be in it.” Alpha Hamish slammed his fist into the table.”How dare they attack us” he snarls “Calm down Hamish” Alpha Odin interjects “we need to work out what they know.” At that moment the three lunas arrived, Luna Sally looked broken. “We have had to get the doctor to give Thea something to sedate her, she was sobbing so badly she could barely breath.” She tells dad. “I took Iris to her room but she hasn’t said a word so I don’t think I should leave her too long” Quietly I heard Oliver say “ she saw it all…she tried to hard to get to him…” A sob escaped from Ruben and he strode form the room. Oliver As Ruben left the office I looked at dad to see if I could follow, he nodded so I left quickly. I knew where he would go so I made my way to the kitchen to pick up a few beers before heading straight to the treehouse. He was sitting staring up at the dark sky when I arrived. He didn’t have to look up to know it was me and I passed him a bottle wordlessly. Moments passed in silence before he signed. “I wasn’t strong enough.” Not knowing how to reply I reminded silent. When he didn’t expand I started “I got a bit of a doing too and if I hadn’t stopped to help Iris I might have made it there in time..” “Don’t you f****** dare blame her, it’s not her fault, if it hadn’t been for her fighting it might have been me too… I didn’t even know she had improved so much. He turned his anger on me and I threw my hands up in surrender. “Look I’m not saying she wasn’t amazing but they were obviously there for her” He grabbed me by the collar and growled. “Don’t you think she hasn’t worked that out herself, why do you think she looks like a zombie, he was her best friend and now she probably feels like it was her fault she died when it was me that didn’t step up and save them.” Breathing heavily he continued. “If Iris hadn’t fought back they would have taken her for sure as I was getting my ass kicked.” Defeated he let go and I slumped down and mumbled. “Sorry mate, I didn’t mean it like that, he was like my brother too I just feel like we chose to save her.” “We did and we always will, Mum explained what would happen to her if we let them take her and trust me even the moderated version sounds awful … it’s just Bodhi would have been the best at protecting her and now he is gone, and it’s f****** eating me up” “I’m didn’t say it was her fault, I chose to help her too. “ I paused not liking my guilt, it was easier to deflect it and I Iris. “What’s the deal, I get she might have powers and all but it’s not like your mums are game changing, how is she so important?” He looked over like he was deliberating whether to tell me. “There are some silver wolves left, if she has powers and she were to mate with one any pups they have are likely to be gifted, but the alpha that wanted my grandmother wasn’t a gifted wolf but he hoped that as he was a descendent of a ancient pack she would not only enhance his powers but their pups would be untouchable” “ Would they?” I asked “I don’t know but he seemed to think that together they could rule over all the werewolves like some alpha king thing or something but if it’s the same crowd that are after Iris they want her as a breeding b***h, to breed a little gifted army so they can’t be stopped.” Not really knowing what to say we sat together in silence. After trying and failing to process everything Ruben had just said I remembered Claire. My guilt at trying to blame Iris got stronger as I reluctantly knew o had been taking my anger out on her so I decided I better check on her. As I knocked at her door minutes later, she answered immediately, eyes red and swollen from crying, not looking her usual immaculate self. I walked in her room and sat on the bed, immediately she threw herself into my arms and started sobbing. Stroking her hair I lay back and let her rest on my chest. “P..please stay” she stammered between sobs. Sighing deeply I kissed her temple and nodded. Waiting until her sobs subsided and I could hear the regular rise and fall of her chest, I extracted myself from her embrace and left.
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