The Vow He Never Meant To Keep

Lilia’s POV For hours now, rain had been falling. By six in the evening, the streets of Brooklyn were wet and shiny under streetlights. Cars were moving slowly on the road, and people were rushing home with their wet jackets. I was still at my photography studio, trying to finish up a wedding album before closing. “Lilia.” I looked up, and I saw Lily standing at the door, with two cups of coffee. “You have been looking at the screen for the past 25 minutes,” she said. “I’m working.” “No, you're staring.” “I can do both.” She walked close and dropped one of the cups beside me. You haven’t eaten anything. I had coffee. She gave me a look. Coffee is not food, I laughed. You sound like my mother. I smiled and turned back to my computer to finish up my work. Four years ago, I would have argued with Lily. Then I was twenty-three years, in love, and I knew exactly how life was going to turn out. Then Lucas left. Just like that, with no proper goodbye. No explanation. Just one message. “I’m so sorry Lilia, I can’t do this anymore.” Even after more than four years now, I still can't forget those words he said. Most times I wondered if I could ever forget those words he said to me. My phone suddenly rang. I looked at my screen, an unknown number. I had wanted not to pick up the call, but for some reason I answered. “Hello?” There was silence on the other end, then a voice finally spoke. “Lilia.” My whole body went still. I knew that voice. I could never forget it, and my heart started beating very hard. Lucas? Yes. I slowly stood up. The studio suddenly felt too warm. “Why are you calling me?” “I need to talk to you.” “No.” There was silence. “You haven’t even heard what I want to say.” “I don’t need to.” Lilia, four years apart. Lucas. And my voice shook as I spoke. “You disappeared and left me for four years. Where was this energy when I actually needed you? You had all the time in the world, and you chose silence.” “I know.” “Do you really?” “Yes.” He took a deep breath. “I deserve that.“ I didn’t actually know what to say anymore. That was the problem with Lucas, because after everything he did, he still knew how to make me feel things i didn’t want to feel I asked. “What do you want?” “I need your help” I let out a small laugh. “You called the wrong person.” It had something to do with your father. Everything in me stopped, and I asked. “My father?” Yes What do you want to talk about him? I can’t explain everything here on the phone. Then explain now. “I need to see you.” “No.” Please. That one word surprised me. Lucas has never begged. “Tomorrow,” he said. Seven o’clock, the cafe on Bedford avenue. I wanted to hang up but I asked. “Why do you want me to come?” Because you deserve to know the truth. Before I could say anything else, the call ended. I stared at my phone and Lily walked over. “Who was that?” I said nothing, she looked at my face and immediately knew something was wrong. “Oh no.” What? That look on your face is the same look four years ago. I took a deep breath. It was Lucas. Her face changed. Lucas? I nodded. “What did he want?” I looked towards the window, rain was still running down the glass. He said it’s about my dad. Lily moved closer. “Are you going?” She gave me a look. “Yes, you do.” I looked at her and she sighed. You have spent more than four years wondering why he left. If he really knows something about your father, then you need to hear him out. I hated that she was right. That night, I barely slept. The next day, at exactly seven o’clock in the evening, I walked inside the cafe. Lucas was already there. The moment he saw me, he stood up for a few minutes. We both kept quiet, staring at each other, neither of us say anything. He looked different, but not completely changed enough for me to notice. His hair looked shorter than I remembered, his face looked thinner, and there were dark circles under his eyes. But his eyes were still the same gray, quiet and familiar. He stared at me as if he had been waiting for this moment for four years. “Lilia.” I sat down across from him. “You said this was about my father.” “It is.” Then I listen to the talk. He reached into his coat, brought out an envelope, and kept it on the table. I recognized the handwriting immediately. “My father’s handwriting” My heart skipped. “Where did you get that?” From my uncle. I stared at him. “Why would your uncle have something private that belongs to my father?” Lucas shook his head. I don’t know. I reached out for the envelope but I didn’t open it. I asked, what is inside? I don’t know. I looked at him. “You don’t know?” Then why did you bring it to me? Because your father wrote your name on it. My fingers started to shake, I looked down at the envelope, and only one word was written on it. “Lilia.” Lucas leaned close to me. There is something else you need to know. I looked up. “What?” His face became serious. “My family had something to do with what happened to your father’s company.” I couldn’t speak. For many years I have believed that my father made a bad business decision, and now Lucas is telling me there might be more to it. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” He looked away because I was afraid. Afraid of what? He looked back at me. Of losing you. “I have a very bitter laugh.” You already did. For the first time, I saw real pain in Lucas' eyes, but I wasn’t ready to forgive him. I pulled the envelope closer to me and stared at it. I thought about opening it there for a moment. I wanted answers. But my hand stayed on the envelope. Something in me told me to wait. Maybe I was afraid of what I might find. Maybe I already knew that whatever was inside would change the way I looked at my father, Lucas, and everything I knew about the past. I looked at Lucas. “Did my father know your family was involved?” Lucas didn’t answer. He looked away for a moment, and that silence was enough to make my stomach tighten. “Lucas?” “I don’t know everything, Lilia” I frowned. “That’s not an answer.” “I know.” “You always say that.” He looked back at me. “I’m not trying to hide anything from you.” “Then start telling me the truth.” He took a slow breath. “I will. Just need to be sure about some things first.” I shook my head. “I’m tired of waiting for the truth.” I pulled the envelope closer. “I’m taking this with me.” Lucas nodded. I stood up and picked up my bag. “Don’t call me tonight.” He looked surprised, but he nodded. “Okay.” “And don’t come to my studio tomorrow.” He hesitated. “I’ll try.” I gave him a look. “Lucas.” He sighed. “I said I’ll try.” I shook my head and turned towards the door. I wanted to leave before I would say something I would regret. But just before I stepped outside, I stopped and looked back at him. He was still watching me if he ever thought. For four years, I have wondered if he ever thought about me after he walked away. I had spent so much time convincing myself that he didn’t care. And now I know that wasn’t true. And somehow, knowing that made things harder for me. I looked away before he could notice what was written all over my face. Then I moved out into the cold night. The envelope was safely kept inside my bag, but it felt heavier than it should have been. I didn’t know what was inside? I didn’t know how much Lucas was still hiding from me. But I knew only one thing. “The past I had spent trying to forget had finally caught up with me.” This time, I wasn’t going to run away from it. And whatever was inside that envelope, I was going to find out the truth.