Let’s Be Together

The Beginning (Friday Nights)

" Well, my life has been a roller coaster if I’m being genuinely honest.” I emphasize as my new therapist scrapes her pen in her notebook.

“Start where you feel most comfortable expressing yourself to me just like you did earlier.” She says as she slightly looks up to me through her glasses.

My name is Jasmine and this is my first therapy session. I wouldn’t say I imagined myself going for therapy when I’m a therapist myself. I never thought I needed it but recently, I felt a certain urge to start something new. I mean it is a new year.

“All I can say is I feel like I need therapy in the stage I’ve reached in my life. I have my dream job, house and car but I still feel like I’m unable to fully connect with a human being in a romantic way. I have my friends and I’ve had relationships but they’ve never made me feel like I could give them my all. Expect one specific one that was not good for me but my point is, I feel there’s so much I need to unpack in order for me to trust someone again or possibly even be interested in the concept of love.” I explain to her.

We already talked about my upbringing and how I grew up with both my parents, only child of course. I went to the best schools and I met a few people on the way that kinda changed my life. This feels very much like I’m missing a part of myself and I need to find “love” in order to feel better about myself but trust it’s not that kind of bs story. I just want to feel freer with myself and allow myself to experience people in whatever way that’s healthy for me. I mean I’m 25, I’m supposed to be living more right?

I was honestly a little nervous to see a therapist but I need to not to be so tough all time.

She nods her head as she takes in our session. She has long black hair, lightly tanned skin and a few freckles on her face. She’s quite tall, about 5’8” and she’s wearing a grey skirt, blue button shirt and glasses.

"I think we will do just fine from here. From what I have here I can tell that you are willing to open up to me which is a good start." She says with a slightly professional tone.

I wasn't sure how to feel about that but I should know better I am a therapist too.

The therapist with life problems. Even thinking it makes me feel stupid.

"We can meet up for night sessions every friday so that your work schedule isn’t tampered with." She says and gives a small smile.

"Okay great. Uhh sorry what's your name again?" I say slightly embarrassed..

"Jessica." She responds almost immediately.

"Nice to meet you. So see you next week?" I say.

"Yes Ms Henry." She addresses me by my last name.

I stand up to shake her hand and I leave her office.

As I walk out the building, I feel a sense of relief and let out a deep breath. I get in my car and let my first therapy session sink in.

"I really did that." I laugh at myself and drive home.

So where do i start?

My name is Jasmine but everyone calls me Jaz. I am a 25 year old therapist. I live a very carefree but simple life. I’ve always lived by myself especially after I graduated college.

My dad passed away in my last year of college. He had diabetes. So it was just my mother and I for the longest time. We talk here and there but we aren’t as close anymore. I have two friends I cherish with my heart. You’ll meet them later on.

My love life is really simple, if we connect,have a good time and have great s*x, then maybe we can have something. If you f**k up, there’s no second chances. I disappear into thin air.

It’s a terrible trait I know but that’s what therapy’s for I guess.

The drive was long but it let me process my thoughts a little bit. I get home and the first thing I do is hop into the shower just to rinse off the day.

I keep thinking about how I just had my first therapy session and it went so well. I never pictured it to go so smoothly.

I jump out the shower and grab a large Tee before diving into my bed. I check my phone and scroll through it before falling asleep.