BENEATH THE VELAREZ NAME SERIES BOOK ONE: THE FIRST TO BURN

My head was resting on the back of the chair, eyes closed, listening to the ticking of the wall clock. It’s been another long, exhausting day. My back hurt, my feet were screaming, and I could barely move. All thanks to the endless going up and down in this hospital. The attending doctor refused to use the elevator today—sabi niya, "exercise daw". Well, sure, but ako ang napagod, hindi siya. I was in the nurse's lounge, trying to pack up. A few more minutes and my shift will be officially over. But when you finally sit down after being on your feet all day, it's so hard to get back up. Gusto ko na lang manatili rito habang buhay. I took off my shoes and massaged my sore feet. "End of shift na in a few minutes, and you're still not moving?" Erica, my fellow nurse and roommate, said while tying her hair back with a scrunchie held between her lips. "Wait lang, ang sakit ng paa ko," I replied, showing her my foot like I needed a medical certificate for it. "Gaga! Endorsement time na sa nurse station, 3 minutes na lang. Ikaw na lang hindi pa nakaayos." She marched over and pulled me up. "Bilisan mo na. I'm starving and I want to go home." We lived in the same apartment. Hindi kami laging magka-shift, but this week, she swapped schedules with another nurse so we ended up working the same hours. We were schoolmates before, pero di kami magkakilala until we became colleagues. Funny thing is, we actually competed for the same apartment. Both of us wanted it—malapit sa hospital, tahimik ang paligid, 15-minute walk lang, and no noisy neighbors. We even had a small argument over it until our landlord got tired of us and forced us to share the place. Mula noon, we just learned to tolerate each other. Sort of. "Ang bagal mo talaga! Nakakairita ka," Erica hissed as she snatched my bag and opened my locker. Yes, she knows my PIN. And yes, I know hers too. "Nagugutom na ako. Tapos ang bagal-bagal mo pa!" she groaned, stuffing my things into the bag. That's Erica. Very impatient. Minsan sumasagot pa 'yan sa pasyente. One time muntikan na siyang ma-memo, but of course, deadma lang siya. Ako pa nga 'yung kinabahan noon. Pano kung ma-terminate siya? Eh di wala na akong kahati sa rent. "Selene, let's go! Endorsement na!" She dragged me to the nurse station, and to be fair, she was right. Kami na lang ang hinihintay. "Ang bagal kasi nito ni Selene!" Erica told the incoming nurses. I gave her a look. "Bakit ba parang sunog ang pwet mo? Para kang hinahabol ng multo." She leaned in to whisper, "Dylan's coming to the apartment tonight." And? "Sinabi ko kasi na I’ll cook dinner for him... but the problem is..." she tapped her fingers nervously. "You don’t know how to cook? So now you want me to cook for the both of you?" I backed away, arms crossed. Nakakaloka tong babaeng ‘to. Never ko pa siyang nakitang naghiwa ng sibuyas, tapos magluluto daw siya? "Please? Dylan's ex is a great cook daw... and I may have told him I can cook too." She looked at me with puppy eyes. Before I could answer, our head nurse cut in. "Ms. Velarez and Ms. Yaros! Kailan niyo balak i-handover ang charts niyo? Kanina pa 'yung mga kapalitan niyo parang tuod sa harap niyo!" We both jumped. Nakalimutan naming nasa nurse station pa pala kami. We quickly handed over the charts, a bit embarrassed. I signed out first since Erica had to finish adding notes to her charts. I passed by a few other nurses on my way out, some just arriving for their shifts. Nakasalubong ko rin ang ibang doctors doing their early rounds. I smiled and said my goodbyes to the patients, silently celebrating: Finally! Uwian na! But instead of heading straight home, I ended up at the grocery store. My conscience was eating me alive. Erica had been shouldering most of the apartment bills, so kahit ayoko, sige na nga, paglulutuan ko na siya. I bought ingredients for pork steak, fried chicken, and chop suey. Pagdating sa apartment, Erica was already in the kitchen, opening canned goods while watching a YouTube cooking tutorial. Nang makita niya akong may dalang grocery bags, she ran to me like a lost puppy. "Akala ko iniwan mo na 'ko. Kala ko hindi mo na ako love!" "Drama mo, girl. Ayusin mo 'to. Magluluto ako," I sighed, placing the bags on the counter. I grew up cooking. Being the eldest, ako ang in charge sa baon ng mga kapatid ko. Si Nanay at Tatay kasi, maagang umaalis to work in the palengke and bukid. Kaya sanay na akong ako ang bahala sa kusina. "Para saan 'to?" she asked, pointing at the marinated pork. "Lulutuin ko nga. Anong akala mo, props?" "Okay fine," she grinned. "By the way, may chika ako." She grabbed a piece of chicken from the frying pan. "May narinig ako sa locker room. Akala ng mga nagchichikahan walang tao roon. Head nurse is reviewing shift schedules. May paparating daw na VIP patient." "Sino?" She shrugged. "Di ko alam. But mukhang magka-major changes sa assignments. Baka may nurse na naka-assign lang sa VIP." I stayed silent, pero in my head, I want that slot. Extra pay means extra help for my family. "Gusto mo ba?" Erica asked. "If there's an opening, oo. I need the money. Si Nanay at Tatay, hirap na sa gastos. Si Lyra magle-licensure exam, si Soreya kailangan ng tuition, si Aeris may school supplies..." She looked at me with sympathy. Erica, with her flawless skin, tall frame, and designer bags, obviously didn’t grow up like I did. Pero kahit ganun siya, she never made me feel small. Kaya kahit nakakainis minsan, mahal ko rin siya as a friend. "Paano kung mahirap ang patient case?" "Then I’ll do my best." After cooking, dumating si Dylan. I stayed in my room, ayokong maki-third wheel. I put on my earphones and watch some videos. Later, Erica knocked five times on my door—our secret sign: "Sel, may eksena kami, wag kang lumabas." I knocked back five times: "Don’t worry, safe ako rito." The next morning, I left early for my shift. Dylan’s car was still parked outside. I didn’t wake Erica up. I got to the hospital and grabbed free breakfast from the canteen—perks ng mga empleyado. After eating, I went to the pantry to make coffee. "Ang aga mo palagi, Selene," said a familiar voice. It was Dr. Elian. He was behind me, holding his coffee mug and that trademark grin. Here we go. "Free breakfast kasi, Doc," I said with a polite smile. We weren’t that close. Hindi kasi kami madalas magkasabay ng shift. And to be honest, he drains my social battery. Ang daldal. "Anong mix mo? Mukhang masarap 'yan," he asked. "3-in-1 lang po," I replied and opened the drawer to hand him a sachet. He extended his mug. Ay, ako pa talaga magtitimpla? "Tessa said you’re reliable and discreet," he continued. "I also assume narinig mo na about the VIP patient?" My eyes widened but I played it cool. "Now ko pa lang po narinig 'yan, Doc. May darating po ba?" "Yes. Confidential ang case. The family requested that only select staff be involved." He gave me a meaningful look. "Are you asking if I want to be assigned there?" I asked, pouring hot water into his mug. "Yes. I think you're the best choice." "Then I'll take the job, Doc. Magpapaassign ako. I’ll take care of the patient, and I’ll protect the confidentiality." He raised an eyebrow at how close I had gotten. Napaatras din ako agad. "Although I won’t be the one handling that case," he said. "The family doctor will take charge. I heard he—" "That won’t be a problem, Doc," I cut him off. He chuckled and took his coffee. "Thanks, Selene. See you around." As he left, I felt a strange kind of thrill. This could be the break I needed. That night, I got a message from our head nurse. She confirmed that I was recommended for the VIP assignment in Room 2430. She asked if I could come in early to sign the NDA and review the patient care contract. I replied yes without hesitation. As I lay in bed, earphones in again while Erica and Dylan occupied the living room, I prayed silently. Lord, sana ito na. For Nanay, Tatay, and my siblings. I don’t dream for myself anymore. I dream for them. I hope this is the start of something better. Because when you're the first daughter, sometimes, you're the first to burn. But maybe this time, I could be the spark to light our way out. Or maybe… this fire will consume me entirely. ROOM 2430. VIP patient scheduled to arrive. Status: Classified. Assigned Nurse: Selene Velarez. Attending Physician: Dr. Leon Arguelles.  And just like that, my heart dropped.