Blue

Chapter Three

When she parked her car in front of Green Salmon the next morning, Ilaria was all fidgeting. The sudden anxiety had taken her by surprise and, trying to hide her sweaty palms in the large pockets of her hoodie wasn’t quite working as well as she had hoped. Yes, she was wearing a hoody. And sweatpants. She had lost almost an hour in the morning trying to find something proper to wear and, after throwing clothes all over her bedroom she realized it was counting way too much. So she put on the coziest clothes she owned, deciding she wouldn’t let herself make this coffee meeting more than it actually was. He wanted to make it up to her for being a jerk and she had said yes, so there was no point to dress fancy or try to impress anybody. Not that she wanted to impress anybody. Or maybe she did. Staring at her reflex in the window, Ilaria knew she actually would have loved to impress him so she thanked God for the decision to wear something random and sporty, because she knew any ties with Sergei were a mistake. And the fact that all her senses went crazy in a blink of an eye when she was next to him was just one more reason to stay away, as she knew men very well and had learned the hard way they were not to be trusted.

April had agreed on that topic as well, as the two girls spent most of their evening and a good part of the night talking. That's how Ilaria had found out that April had a boutique with fancy clothes which was going really well, that she had finished her fashion studies in Milan but has been drawn to Yachats by its local history and culture. Ilaria shared with her the story of her inheritance from that paternal aunt she had never met and April assured her that Margaret had been a wonderful woman and all her acquaintances had been truly pained by her loss. At some point, they started drinking wine, even though Ilaria could not say exactly whether it was herself or April who brought the bottle and she ended up telling her about Connor and how she got cheated on. It was strange how much trust she had in April after just a few hours, but the girl had something that made Ilaria let her guard down, something mysteriously trustworthy.

"Maybe she was some sort of witch" thought Ilaria, stepping into the cafeteria and heading to a small two-person table in the corner. 

Picking up the menu, she began to look for black coffee with vanilla but what caught her eye was the variety of home-made cakes and cookies. She was reading the list for the tenth time, trying to choose between cherry pie with cinnamon and butter muffins with caramel and white chocolate, when Sergei walked in, approaching her table.

" Sorry for being late..."

" It's okay; I didn't even notice" interrupted Ilaria.

" ...but we have to reschedule. "

It was then when Ilaria noticed how tense he was. The psychology classes she had taken at university were enough to tell her he was in a very bad mood. And angry.

" Are you all right? What happened?"

" Long story. Got to fix something. Anyway, I promise to make it up to you."

" You promise to make up for rescheduling a making-up meeting." She stared at him incredulously. " Is this about your car?"

" Damn, no. I have to fix that too. Just... I'll do something. You seem like a nice girl and you really don't deserve to be dragged into my shit."

"You seem like a nice girl" kept playing into her mind and any trace of anger disappeared in an instance.

" Okay, look..." she grabbed a pen from the table and pulled his hand closer, beginning to write something on his arm. " That's my address. When you are less nervous, come over. I'll make coffee and muffins and you can bring some chocolate."

And before waiting for his response, she stormed out from the coffee shop, heading to her car. Her heart was beating extremely fast, and her hands became sloppy, being still surprised she had done that. It was the kind of gesture you see in movies, or read about in books; the kind of gesture that seems cute and romantic. But in real life? In real life it felt as extreme as bungee jumping. And right now, thinking about it deeper, she realized just how stupid was that. She was a total stranger to him; why would he even bother to read her address, not to mention actually coming over. And why would she give her new address to a totally stranger who, as far as she knew, could have been a serial killer. A freaking hot serial killer.

" God damn it, Ilaria! Could you, PLEASE, use your brain the next time?" shouted with frustration at herself in the mirror.

Of course he wouldn’t come! If a stranger wrote his address on her hand, she wouldn't go; yes, she would think it was romantic, but she wouldn't go. But did Sergei think her gesture was romantic? Or maybe he thought she was a crazy perv who just wanted to lure him inside her house and feed him until he could be cooked. Or use him as a s*x toy... Yeah, more like the second... But what if he would come? The possibility was slightly considerable, yet, what if? That single "what if" sent a chill down Ilaria's spine as somehow, the thought of him coming seemed even scarier than the one of him ignoring the words on his hand. Before getting to analyze her emotions deeper, her ringtone filled the car. With her left hand, she searched for the telephone in her small purse, swiping to answer.

" Skip the bullshit and tell me how was the meeting with Mr. Hot."

" Nice to hear from you so soon, Leslie."

" Didn't I tell you to cut the bullshit? We'll get emotional later, while you tell me how good he kisses."

" I don't know. He canceled. "

" What?"

" He showed up ten minutes late, telling me we'll have to reschedule."

" What? Asshole... And you, miss, why were you on time? Didn't I teach you to be late every time you are expected on something like this?"

" But I was late. 5 minutes."

" Wow, you might actually like him."

" I don't. I mean, I do like him. He's hot. But I don't like him as in like-like... more like f**k-like."

" That's my girl! So, did you agree with rescheduling?"

Ilaria chuckled.

" Kind of. I wrote my address on his hand, then left."

Leslie whistled.

" Dramatic; I like this bold Ilaria

What's that place doing to you?"

" Don't you think it was stupid? Now it feels so..."

" You think too much, honey. I've told you before. Got to go back to work, but remember: let yourself be carried away! "

Ilaria let her phone drop back in her purse and got out of the car. She hadn’t had time for groceries the previous day, but if felt like the right moment for that. So she spent the entire day shopping and visiting Yachats, forcing herself not to think about Sergei or Leslie's advice. The town wasn't big, yet everyone was extremely friendly and she found herself deeply in love with this place where no one was in a constant hurry, nor angry or agitated. It was quiet and peaceful and the surroundings were breathtaking. The combination of mountains and sea, the splash of green and wildness, it was all so much more than she could have wanted. Walking around, she found herself on a path that took her to a high cliff, where she could see the entire town at her feet and the sea hugging the ground. Right there, carved in wood was a bench. She laid down, closing her eyes and breathing in the fresh air and, just like in the forest, she felt relaxed. It was as good as therapy for her. The flux of thoughts that hit her made her loose her breath for a moment because, after three months of hurting and anger, she finally had an idea for her book. So she pulled out her notebook, starting to write frantically - the surroundings, the characters, even a bit of action; she knew what she wanted. Her imagination grew louder and louder, allowing her to create this new world for her book. Of course, she still missed some of the plot and the great ending. She was still uncertain about the relationship between her leads; but she was to figure those out on the way.

When the light went dim, she had already finished her prologue and the first chapter, so she placed both her pen and her notebook back in her bag. Writing made her feel relief; it helped her break free from the burden of thoughts, of unresolved business and conversations. She left her entire frustration sink in her characters, just like ink sinks into paper, shaping them, giving them life. Walking back home felt just as good since none of the problems that had been filling head were choking her anymore; they were still there, waiting to be solved and put into order, but they weren't haunting her anymore.

Approaching her house, she began to look for her keys in the pockets of the jacket and, when she could not find them, panicked a little. She pulled open the bag, looking through it and hoping she hadn't lost them on the way back, when she almost hit a figure standing right in her front alley. Being so focused on finding her keys she hadn't even noticed Sergei, with a bottle of wine in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other, waiting for her.

" He came" was all her brain could think, the surprise of seeing him making her bag fall on the ground, spreading all that was inside it.

" Oh, hi! I didn't mean to scare you." said Sergei quickly, helping her put the content back to where it belonged.

" Hi." Ilaria's breath got quicker. " Don't worry, it's fine. I drop thing from time to time. Well, at least I found my keys!"

She felt she was talking too much, but her nausea wouldn't let her keep her mouth shut. Zipping her bag and placing it back on her shoulder, she had to stand and look at him. Not having something to do with her hands felt awkward. Not knowing what to say further, even more awkward. Apparently, he felt awkward too, changing his weight from one foot to the other. 

She opened her mouth, but, as if triggered by that, he began to talk.

" I brought chocolate. And wine. Red one. "

" Yeah, I've noticed."

" Can I come in? Please. I know it's late, but you're the only person in town that I know, besides my producer. And I need help. Your help."

She was still processing his words. He was here. He wanted to come in. And he needed help. Okay, she could handle that. Or at least she thought she could.

" Please?" he insisted.

Realizing she hadn't given him an answer, she nodded.

" Yeah, sure, come in."