Sorry, not Sorry.

I felt a gentle tap on my right shoulder so i turn to see who's behind me, "you're zoning out, again" ah, Chelsea. "are you okay?" i'm obviously not. "Yeah" i said and smiled, Chelsea sat beside me and handed me a drink—a beer. "No thankyou" she frown, "wow, that's new, you never use to turn this kind of offer down" i didnt respond and just sighed. I promised him i'll stop drinking, Chelsea broke the awkward silence, "girl, it's been a year now, move on" my heart ached when she said that, i look at her with my tired eyes, "i wish i could, but i couldn't, i can't even try" She hold my hands and smiled, "i understand, i won't force you to move on, take all the time that you need, and when you're ready to, i'll be here for you, okay?" she said as she hugged me. I visited Dylan's grave few days after that, i sat beside the flowers that i bought, i stayed there for almost an hour without talking, i just stare at his name carved in his tomb, the silence is creepy so i said, "i'm sorry" "sorry for what i did, if only you hadn't cheated on me with Chelsea, you might still be alive right now" i got up ready to leave, "please forgive me" i said and walked away.