Misery of Artemisia

Chapter 7: Vision

IT WAS a rainy day when we finally found the place we're looking for too long. Hopefully, we could find the ink blood now so that my mind will be at peace again.

As if I am in peace? Rubbish life.

"Is this the place they're told us?" "I guess so," I took a breath. "But I am not just fully sure if where does the grave of my stepfather locate."

"What is his name then? Of course, we won't find it easily if you do not know his name. Aren't you?" he claimed.

I suddenly gulp when the drops of rain were gradually touching my face. Even though we're currently staying here inside of the small house, still the rain doesn't care.

There is one thing that nobody knows about me, that scares me. Even my dearest brother does not know about it.

I am scared of the rain. Which is the reason why I often feel lonesomeness.

"Are you trembling?! For what reason, Art?" he asked me when he noticed that all parts of my body were doing not fine.

While my hands keep on shaking, I also noticed that the colour of my hands turns pale.

"A-are you attacking from what ill?!" Rendev is restless while he's showing his concern at me. His thick perfect brows were met.

"I am perfectly fine. I c-can do it, Ren." I tried to pretend by these words, hoping that it would flow.

"You're not. Stop pretending, Artemisia. I know now that you have anxiety and one of the reasons for that is the rain. Am I right?"

I lose.

I want to keep calm. Yes, I tried. I want to feel up. But people drag me down. So how could I get into the peace world if they cannot deal with me the way I treat them?

I'm losing words to talk to him. If I would just choose, I'll choose to shut up. I wanna get to the world where everything was done right.

Can I just?

"How did you know?" I asked him amidst my selflessness.

It seems too stupid to think of, but in part of me, it sucks. There's a time that I wanna let my body lifeless considering that my mind was full of negative thoughts and scenarios. I want to change myself. I want to be at peace. But how life can do that to me?

Suffering from anxiety isn't a joke. Some people might think that it is just a superficial thing. But if ever that they will experience it as well, I am sure that their thoughts about it will be broken down. They will just know it if they also suffer from it.

When my mother starts to treat me so bad, my anxiety started too. Until now, I do not know how to handle this f*cking life.

"I know it isn't easy. But for me, I believe that you can! Don't let your life drown by sadness. That's precisely isn't healthy!" he shouted at me. But I know that it's for the sake of his sister, it's me.

I am afraid of the rain. And according to studies, I observed that I have Ombrophobia. This is when people has fear of rain, and that is precisely what I have since I was a kid.

It usually attacks me and I cannot control myself to have a strong fear from it.

Is it too weird? Probably on some people, but I swear, having a phobia of rain isn't good and humorous.

"What's happening to her?!" there's a lady suddenly come out in our direction. "If I am not mistaken, does she have a phobia of rain? Because as a psychologist, I easily understand what people feel. Just correct me now if I was mistaken, I would be glad if you will correct me." She spoke while I am still attacking from my phobia.

"When I was a kid, my mother tried to kill her daughter amidst the rain, it was me. So why do I need to calm when every rainy day come?! Why won't I be afraid of the rain?" I tried not to tell any people about my biggest secret in life, but because of the extreme panic that I was currently feeling, I unexpectedly tell them about it.

I tried not to, but I failed.

I was expecting that they will react shocked, but instead, they both suddenly hugged me tightly,

"I felt that." An unfamiliar voice uttered. It was a man, but I'm sure that it's not my brother.

While my tears are falling apart, my curiosity about a man voice tried to disturb me from my selflessness.

So as they let go of the hug on me, my blurry eyes a little while ago were now turned into the brightest vision of my eyes.

"Who are you?" I undoubtedly asked the man who wears a formal suit. But why he is here in the cemetery while wearing that suit?!

"Azreon," he offered his right hand. "That's my name. I have a trivia for you," he tried to convince me.

"A-about what?!"

"I just found it somewhere," he laughs. "Without rain, nothing grows. Learn to embrace the storms of your life. It just means that having no struggles in life won't me your life fruitful. That's why I am here, to tell you something that would possibly boost your confidence in terms of facing real life. By the way, she's my wife, her name is Mirielle."

Fortunately, while he's trying to calm me, the rain stopped.

"Is that your purpose why you're here? Just to tell my sister about that?" Rendev swiftly inquired.

"We're here to help you guys to have a clear and bright vision about a fantasy world. Incidentally, Queen Yvanna convinced us to meet both of you for a good purpose." Mirielle start to talk with us.

Is this real?!

"Then... does it mean that both of you can help us to find what we're looking for?! For real?" my brother's eyes grew bigger when he asked about it.

Just, please?

"Probably not." He directly stated.

His brows met then he suddenly looks at me.

He just shrugged.

"We can't do your responsibility. We believe that you can find it, guys. Even we could say that we know where it was placed, still, we won't tell regarding that situation. Yes, we know it. But we will let you guys find it on your own. We're hoping that you can find it on," he told, giving us a blink of an eye.

I thought they could help us but fortunately, I won for not expecting that.

I controlled not to ask them numerous questions in my mind. Because if I will, I'm sure that they'll feel a wreck.

I just never really thought that the queen from the kingdom of ashes commanded some people just to help us.

Are we too important for them to do that?

"You must first find what you're looking for before we teach both of you about our kingdom. Then if you succeed, we'll let ourselves to tell most facts about us." Azreon said then they left us by their supernatural strength. They've been gone by disappearing like bubbles.

When I start to encounter unextraordinary happenings, my fear and astonishment are rapidly reduced. I felt like nothing more can make me feel astounded and shocked unless it is my mom. Although there’s a lot of people that were telling me why I treat my mother so bad. Does that seem I am the one who made a mess between us?

Nevermind. But I know for a fact that I am just doing my responsibility and I am just using my intellectual skills. And whoever doesn’t act like that, it must be her.

But, yea, there’s still a time that I felt guilty whenever I reminisce about my past. Then who am I? I am just a little kiddo that’s wondering to feel loved by a mother.

“His Adler Hawk, one of the men who tried to kill my future. Am I not too bad if I said that he’s worthy to kick the bucket? Honestly, I never feel even a little endearment on my stepfather, as in, never bruh.” I give utterance on my brother, showing him a lethargic face.

“Oh… I won’t ever have a comment on that, Art. That’s too private and I’ll still choose to be silent. But in your first sentence, you said that your father’s name is A-Adler Hawk?” he raised his brows and asked me with a real serious tone.

I just show him a nod so that we can walk again until we reached the grave of the said dead man.

It took an hour before we decided to sit in the meantime. Walking for an hour is really exhausting, and that’s the one thing I cannot deny in my entire life. Perhaps I just easy to feel some tiredness whenever I did something. But when I will compare it to others with strong immunity than me, I’m sure that I’ll lose.

Brookwood Cemetery is one of the well-known cemeteries here in the United Kingdom. Actually, I have no idea that the body of my stepfather was buried in this place. It’s absolutely a big help when our fellow-receiver of the invitation spoke about the biggest secret of my mom’s husband at that time. We just hope that what she has been said will be helpful for us and that is indeed a fact.

“Will you believe in me if I say that I now certainly find Adler’s grave?” my one and only brother assuredly voiced out in front of my face.

I turned around my face to ridiculously stared at his dazzling face.

“Then, what’s the matter?” I tried to annoy him.

“b***h! I said I just currently found it! Why aren’t you feel shocked? I thought--“ I cut him off.

“Yea! I know right, dude. C’mon.”

There is a multitude of graves surrounded by this place. But fortunately, I never feel startled whenever I located in any cemetery. I am not afraid of dead people nor on their graves. I also do not fear any bad spirits, demons, souls, or any creepy creatures, I born not to be afraid of any of that, except in the rain and every time I am with my mom.

“Aren’t you afraid to be here? It’s going to be dark in this cemetery. And,” he looks at her watch. “It’s already 6 in the evening. Should we still continue to find your stepfather’s ink?”

“Brother, just tell me if you’re tired of having with me. I’ll let you go.” I rolled my eyes then I walked first.

This is it, Artemisia. I will never let this night passed until I am not yet finding the glass wherein the ink placed.

This is the day.

I am now seeing the clear vision of why we’re finding that thing. Because if it would happen to others, I am pretty sure that they won’t grab this.

I and my brother are gradually approaching his grave. I now feel its odd presence, as if his soul is in our side.

“Look! It’s been there! Oh my sh*t!” he yelled then his eyes grew gigantic.

And because of his yell, I quickly kneel to seek the small glass on the edge of his grave.

My hands are trembling while I am trying to handle the small glass. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, I am now holding the ink blood from my stepfather.

The woman we met at the ink shop does not disappoint us. And after all the mess that ruining my mind, at this moment, I won.

“That ink is too dark, that’s why I will not be stunned if that really came from the human’s blood. But the thing that was shattering my mind is that how comes that the blood can also be called ink? Is that the thing that we need to use when we’re be going to write something? Shall we put that on our pen?!” he asked me trouble times as if I know something about that odd stuff.

“Our vision about that thing will be just brighter if we will let ourselves to hear the significant thing by the people we met. At the present moment, my psyche will be now in tranquillity, but for sure, I don’t know how long it will last.”

“But at least, we could now have a rest with a bit of peace in our mind. And that’s because we’re a receiver of an invitation from a peculiar world, we are also responsible now to call ourselves as an achiever.” He commented before we leave this graveyard.