7
2374 Words
"I will try but don't touch me unless I ask you to because next time I'll burn you and I don't want to do that but I'm not going to fear my mate. Not anymore. I don't want to say stuff and fear your reaction. If you want this to work let me be me. Let me be the one to make the next move"
"You have yourself a deal"
I nod
"Turn around i need to get dressed"
"Oh yes sorry"
I quickly pull on my bra and T-shirt then pull on my jeans and groan when I try and fail to get them over my ass. He looks at me and bites his lip trying not to laugh.
"If they are too tight , why wear them?"
I was horrified. f*****g horrified
"They are not too tight. My ass is just big after I get them passed my ass they fit fine so stop judging me and start helping me"
He chuckles and pulls them up over my hips in one go.great I just asked him to touch me. Why am I so f*****g forgiving?
Harper
Because you want to be happy even if it's with that monster just fake it till we make it and hopefully he keeps his word
Me
Your right harps, your right. Fake it till you make it
"Thank you"
I throw on my doc martens then push my bushy matted hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. When I'm done I grab my leather jacket and open the door and call for Brian. He comes in and smiles at me
He swings his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple and smiles at Xavier. I hold my hand out to him and decide to try and play nice, at least in front of my family, he takes it with a grin on his face. After that we had breakfast with the family who all giggled the entire time at the drawings on the boys faces.
When we were done I said goodbye to my family who all promised to visit when we returned. Soon we were in the air and on our way to Canada. We spent the time watching movies and gorging on garbage.
"I had a vision I think you should know about?"
I looked at Baylee. She had our full attention now.
"What is it?"
"Your brothers. I'm not sure when, how or why but the vision showed me and caden adopting them."
Xavier stiffens beside me. He doesn't say anything, he just stares into space. I think I almost felt relief through the bond but I couldn't be sure.
I, on the other hand, am relieved. Relieved I don't need to care for boys like a mother when I can't look after myself.
Relieved that those boys will be brought up right. Taught how to truly treat a woman the proper way.
Relieved that they will be happy in my sisters care. That they will have a childhood full of happiness.
4 boys were a big responsibility, especially the young ones. They need a mummy and a daddy, they deserve that. I'm not sure I can do that for them. Yes we can save them from the monsters they live with but can we honestly take them on only a few days after meeting and be there mum and dad when I still feel like I'm mated to a monster. Replace one monster parent with another?
"It's their choice if they want to live with you or me. I won't take that from them again but if they agree to go with you I'll be happy to let them. They deserve a mum and dad to love them and I'm not sure if I'm capable of that right now"
I was shocked and so was my brother and sister. They looked at each other and nodded. Xavier turned around and kissed my forehead. I tense and decided to ignore the fact he kissed me without permission an i looked up at him
"Are you ok?"
I ask him, afraid that he feels pushed into this decision. He may be a monster but I'm not and unfortunately what affects him affects me and I'm the one who will have to live with him and the decisions he makes
"Yes. Paul is still a baby and he needs a mum and dad. They all do and right now I'm just learning how to look after myself and the pack and now you. I love them and I will raise them if they want me to. But I don't think I'm capable of making a kid as happy as your family could. Not right now anyway"
I smiled at him and for one it was a genuine smile. I was happy he could see that he wasn't capable of being a parent. Maybe he never would be.
"That's a really brave thing to do. I will support you either way. Either way those boys will find the love they deserve because I won't stop until they have everything they deserve to have."
He kissed my forehead then pulled me into his arms and held me but I suddenly felt claustrophobic and pulled away. Thankfully he let me and I rested my head on Brian instead. He wrapped his arm around me protectively and I relaxed into his touch.
We both ignored the glaras from Xavier but I didn't care, I was not comfortable in his presence. I still didn't want him to hold me but Brian made me safe and I think Brian had caught on and decided he would protect me, even against his best friend and I took comfort in that then relaxed and we watched some more movies in silence.
I yawned and stretched after Baylee shook me awake.
"Come on, buckle up guys we are landing"
I smile and realise the boys are both sleeping on me again. I chuckle and shake them both. Trying to hide my dislike for Xavier. Baylee seems oblivious to my discomfort. Or maybe she wasn't but this was normal like he said it was. Either way I shake them and They groan at me but wake up.
"Come on boys you need to buckle up"
"Ugh fine"
Brian yawned and stood up. He grabbed Xavier's hand and pulled him to his feet. They both held their hands out for me to pull me up to. I smiled. They were both very sweet when they were like that. If only Xavier hadn't ruined it all I might have had a chance at true happiness.
We sat on our seats and buckled up and soon we were in a car on our way to the territory where my new brothers are being held.
Tension in the van was high and Xavier spent the time tapping his leg until I couldn't take it anymore and I grabbed his leg.
"That is not going to make time go any faster. Chill"
"I can't. I need a distraction"
"Let's play have you ever it's always entertaining"
Brian shot me a wink. Oh I was definitely up for that.
"I'm so innocent, not much for me to fes up to"
Both of them laughed loudly.
"Yeah innocent my ass we saw all your secrets in your room last night so don't pretend your the innocent little virgin"
My face instantly heated up. I completely forgot they had seen that and the thought made my face burn so hot I thought I was about to ignite in flames.
They both laughed at me again and I growled at them!
"Fine. Who's going first then"
I would do anything for them to stop talking about my secret drawer
"Have you ever watched a porno"
Brian was watching me closely and xaviers eyes were burning a hole in my head.
"Yes I have and it was totally unrealistic and stupid. Bad acting and stupid storylines as well as unrealistic scenarios. I found the entire thing unappealing"
I decided to bite down on my embarrassment and answer honestly. Brian was so fun to be around and it was easy to fall into their games and jokes. Even if it made me slightly uncomfortable being in xaviers presence.
I looked at both boys who were looking anywhere but me
"Well don't hold back I'm waiting?"
"Yes I watched them. But really it's just a means to an end"
I scoff at Xavier who chuckles.
"I watched them but I'd rather read a magazine. The shitty acting throws me off majorly. Very unattractive"
Brain says matter of factly
"Have you ever told someone other than your closest friends and family that you love them? And my answer is no"
I smirked at my question. I knew they would struggle telling me the truth about this in particular Well Xavier anyway not so much Brian he seems to be an open book. I could see Xavier stir beside me and now I was the one staring at him.
"Maybe. But I didn't mean it, I was just being a douchebag and I know that now"
"How many?"
"2"
"Why?"
He looked like he was about to get sick
"Well one when I was a teenager and had no idea what love was. But the other I was seeing not all that long ago.."
"How long?"
His breath hitched. He knew this was pissing me off but I needed to know. I needed to know what I faced when I got to his territory. Was I going to be challenged for my position? A position I would happily hand over if I was allowed to, but I don't think that will ever happen. It's not that it hurt me but it did something to me and I'm not sure what that was.
"6 months. Ended around a month ago because I realised that I wanted a real mate not a chosen one"
That small bit of information made my blood boil.
"What do you mean? So you actually liked her and wanted her? You actually loved her? You were going to mark her?"
I was completely taken back with this information and I was finding it hard to process. He reached for my hand but I pulled it away and instead stared at him expectantly. She can f*****g have him for all I care but he's 19.
1 mangy year he waited for a mate, 1 f*****g year. I was repulsed by him now more than ever. And not because someone else had what was mine. No! I was pissed that he took the only thing I felt like I had to offer and that made me sick and furious.
"I liked her but didn't love her. I told her I loved her but I didn't mean it then and I certainly didn't mean it looking back now. I had no intention of marking her but she wanted me to. That's why I ended it. Please
Don't be upset?"
"Upset? Why did you have to do any of that with anyone? I just hope Brian learns from your mistakes because it hurts to know I wasn't important enough for you to wait for me"
Yet as soon as that Bastard got me alone he tainted me. Ruined me so no one would ever want me again. f**k him. f**k him to the moon and back he was an asshole and I hated him. He should have just taken her as a mate and left me alone. Rejected me untainted and let me find another or better yet let me have Brian.
I turned in my seat and looked out the window. They both tried to talk to me and cheer me up but I was officially in a mood and they needed to leave me alone.
They also needed to learn that in the future they need to piss off when I don't want to talk to them so I shut them out and watched the scenery fly by. I wasn't angry at Brian but I was angry because I couldn't have him. I should have been fated to him. I would have fallen to the floor in front of him the second I saw him. But I'll never have him and that hurts more than anything.
The place was nice, it was warm enough and the air was fresh. I could see the pack territory approaching and took a deep breath and straightened out my shirt and played with my messy bun to make myself look just a little decent.
We stopped at the border and caden rolled down the window
"Hey, can you inform the alpha that Alpha moon and Luna moon are here to see him right away"
The man's eyes widened slightly at the names. He mindlinks somebody then gives us a small nod
"Follow the lane to the packhouse"
"Thank you"
Caden said softly. He took off towards the packhouse. When we arrive, Alpha Dusk is standing at the door With a grim expression on his face.
"Now what have I done to attract the alpha of alphas?"
Baylee steps forward and growls
"You have been keeping 4 boys from their brother. He happens to be my brother now too so that means those kids are my family and anyone who stands against us is punished by death. If you don't hand them over I will consider it an act of treason and I will have no other option but to kill you"
His eyes widen and he puts his hand in the air
"Wow whatever this is about it's nothing to do with me. Who am I keeping captive?"
"Zander, Jack, Luke and Paul Spencer. I expect them to be here within the hour if you don't want any trouble"
"That has nothing to do with me, it was a will that the boy can't accept. Those kids belong to this pack"
"As I said within the hour or you die for treason. It's simple. Bring me my family right now"
He fists his hands tightly and stares daggers at Xavier. But you could see his eyes glaze over as he mindlinks someone
"They are on there way"
- Writer
