Mated or fated? (Completed Book #5 of the blood moon saga)

6

I felt so overwhelmed as both men's faces lit up in excitement

"That's amazing. Congratulations"

I laugh and wipe my tears away as the coffee finishes. I pour us all a cup and the 3 of us head to my room to start packing.

"I still can't believe it. 10 years and no laugh and it finally happened"

"It's remarkable Megan. I'm officially delighted that my new name is toasty"

My cheeks hurt from grinning so wide but it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change who he is or what he's done. I go to the wardrobe and pull out my cases. When they notice all the boxes in the corner they look at me puzzled.

"It's PR. Company's sends me stuff and I wear it in a picture and they pay me. They will all need to be delivered to your packhouse"

"Consider it done. I will have some men come when we are gone to take everything home"

I nod to him

"Thank you, Now help me pack my clothes. My leather jackets are all a must, same as my doc martens and flip flops, so if you deal with all those I will pack everything else after I shower"

They nodded and they got to work packing up my entire life.

I grabbed some fresh underwear, sweatpants, a T-shirt and an oversized hoody. Maybe if he can't see my body he won't want my body.

I go into the bathroom and lock the door. I turn on the shower and pull my clothes off and the pain hits me.

My legs were covered in blood and it still leaked down my leg. Tears started to fall and I let them. I get into the shower and sit on the floor and I cry. I cry my eyes out. The pain mixed with the sight of blood brought it all back and now the monster that did it was sitting on the other side of the door packing my life up to take me home and do it again.

After a while of watching the blood run down the drain I decide to ask the doc if this is normal. So I opened the link to her.

Me

Doc can I have a moment of your time please

Doc

Yes Of Course Megan. What's going on

Me

Well I had my first time earlier tonight and now I'm not healing and I'm still bleeding

Doc

The only reason you wouldn't be healing is because deep down you don't want to heal. Maybe you're not ready to be sexually active yet. You will heal at normal speed. It will take a few hours but maybe just take a while before you do it again

Her words stung. I didn't want it. I didn't want it so much that my body wouldn't heal itself. But maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this would give me an excuse not to do it again. Not for a while anyway.

Me

Thanks doc. Il do just that

I cut the link and started to scrub my body raw. I wanted his scent off me, I wanted to discard the dirty feeling like I did my clothes. After my thighs started to bleed from where I scrubbed them raw I decided it's time to stop.

Maybe if I try. Maybe if I just accepted this new reality it wouldn't be so bad. If I just try to be nice to him. Give the bond a chance to work, maybe all the pain and suffering that I imagine won't happen.

I left the shower with a new sense of determination. I will just accept my fate and cowboy up and hopefully one day I can be happy. I put on a pad so the blood wouldn't destroy more clothes. When I was dressed I joined the boys and started to pack.

I started with my underwear and more embarrassing things as they did what I said and packed my favourites. I moved onto bottoms as they packed my T-shirts.

"Now I understand why everyone keeps talking about your fashion sense. Do you own anything that isn't old and holey"

I crossed my arms and huffed at Brian

"Leave me alone they are comfortable"

"Comfortable or not we need to buy you new clothes, you don't need to bring all the rags, i'll buy you stuff that doesn't have holes in them"

I grumble at him

"Fine but I'm perfectly capable of buying my own things thank you very much"

I ignored him and went back to throwing things into the suitcase leaving behind anything I didn't like or need.

"And what do we have here?"

I furrowed my brows as I peered over my shoulder to Brian who was holding up my vibrator.

Oh holy hell can someone please kill me now.

Harper howls in laughter as I sit there with my jaw on the floor. Damn if he looks he's going to find more than just that.

Fuck. f**k. f**k. f**k. f**k!

I do the only thing I can think of doing and I get up and leave the room closing the door behind me completely red faced and embarrassed.

I went straight for the tequila and took the half empty bottle and grabbed a fresh bottle from the drinks cabinet and returned to the room where the boys had found my hiding place that had all my dirty secrets on the floor looking through them.

I popped the cap on the bottle and down nearly all of it only stopping to breathe. When I had gained enough confidence I found my voice.

"I didn't play around or f**k around with anyone ever. Not even a kiss but that did not mean I didn't have urges. I am a woman after all and that damn fifty shades s**t is addictive so I started to read more books like it and it's normal so stop looking like you are a kid in a candy shop"

They throw their heads back and laugh. Xavier tried to give me a sexy look. But it was a horrible fail and it just made bile rise in my throat.

"Not so innocent after all. I think I like it"

"No not innocent anymore anyway"

I practically spit the words at him and his eyes darken and he frowned. Brian looks between us with an alarmed look. I could see his eyes darken as he glared at an oblivious Xavier.

I offered them the nearly empty bottle of boze as I opened the new one and took another large slug. Ignoring the tension and just getting on with it.

Harper

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

I tried to relax knowing nothing can happen in Brian's presence.

"Aw come on now Megs don't be embarrassed by us. We are your new best friends and we are about to live together. We all have dirty little secrets that we are going to have to deal with at some point"

Brian said with a grin easing the growing tension in the room. I can't help but smile back at his boyish good looks and bright blue eyes. At least he would be living with us. He would keep us safe.

Harper

Your right he will keep us safe I can feel it

"Ok well since you both just embarrassed the hell out of me how many have you both been with? I have a right to know at least your answer toasty and I'm sure you're not afraid to tell me your number B?"

Brian takes into fits of laughter as xaviers jaw goes slack. I can't help but giggle with Brian. His laugh is infectious and his smile lights up his face, my stomach does a little flip.

"I mostly just fool around. I had a girlfriend when I was 16 and we did stuff but not all the stuff, then we broke up when she found her mate. After that I never went that far but I have fooled around when I was extremely drunk"

I was surprised by Brian's past and the fact he was a virgin. It made me sad because I no longer was. I was tainted. He was pure and he had waited for his mate like me. Now I am ruined.

I pushed the sadness away and decided to try to relax and get to know them better. Like it or not I was going to be alone living with them. I looked to Xavier for his answer pushing the pain of my evening away into the darkness of my mind and I try to forget it ever happened.

"Including you, 5. But I can safely say with 100% honesty that you are my one and only from now on. They might have had a little of me in the past but you have all of me in the future"

His answer made me feel sick. How did he enjoy hurting me? How did he enjoy the pain I was in? How many of those woman or men, I didn't even know his s****l preferences for f**k sake. How many wanted him to do that and how many were like me. It made me sick so I downed more of the bottle.

"Cool. But well done Brian, you should continue to wait for your mate. Fool around all you want without taking that step. It will be worth it when you find her or him"

He gives me a genuine smile and I sigh sitting back and looking at my room. Everything important in boxes. It felt weird like this wasn't home anymore. I look at the boys and smile to myself at Brian. I know living with him is going to be a lot of fun. So I ignore all thoughts of Xavier and what I will have to deal with and I think of only Brian.

"Wanna watch a scary movie?"

Xavier froze slightly as Brian chuckled.

"Oh don't be chicken alpha I'll protect you"

I laughed at his reaction and stood up going to my bed and laying down. They joined me on each side as I flicked through a movie finding something to watch, I stayed closer to Brian then I did Xavier. He made me feel safe beside this monster.

"Just nothing with ghosts. I'll watch anything as long as there is no ghosts"

I ignore him and pull up the chainsaw m******e.

"Don't worry toasty we won't let anyone kill you"

Brian said smugly. He threw me a look and sighed resting his head on my shoulder, I tensed as his body touched me and Brian looked at me funny. Like he knew I was afraid of him. But when Brain rested his head on my other shoulder I was able to settle and watch the film.

I laughed most of the way as Xavier screamed like a little b***h completely terrified. I had to say I enjoyed watching him scream. Felt like a little justice for me. He tried to spoon me at one point but I pushed him off and lay closer to Brian resting my head on his shoulder. Soon exhaustion took over.

Baylees voice was the one that woke me through mind link

Baylee

Hey you up? Plane leaves in an hour and a half. There is breakfast for you 3 at the packhouse and men are here to lift your stuff so they are on there way to you now

I groaned and tried to move only stopping when I realised the heavy weight weighing down my body.

Me

Thanks sis I will see you in 30mins

I cut the link and peered down. I was back in the middle of the bed with xaviers head on my chest and his arms wrapped round my body. And Brain lay on the other side with his head on my stomach and his arm wrapped securely around me. I start to poke them but they don't wake up so I have an idea.

I grab the sharpie I was using yesterday to pack and write on Xaviers head 'I like d**k'

With a picture of a p***s on his face. Then I turn to Brian and think for a minute. And giggle to myself as I wrote 'I have a secret v****a'

I can't help myself and end up cackling away and snorting in laughter. Only when mum walks in and sees what I did I couldn't help myself from snorting like a pig with her. She took some photos of them and called dad in.

"They are going to kill you. You realise you have to live with them both now. What will they not do to you, to get back at you!"

Dad said through chuckles. The thought suddenly makes me freeze and memories of yesterday come flooding back into my mind. I try to shake them away and ignore the thoughts that were trying to drown me. So I try to wake them but they don't move

"Hell, I thought I slept like a log. Can you help me out of here and mum hide the marker so they don't get me back"

She quickly takes it as we try and fail to wake them. Dad disappears and comes back with a pan and a spoon and starts to bang it loudly making them both nearly jump out of there skin and I cackle away.

"What the fuc... hahahahaha oh dude what the hahaha"

Brian calls out through laughter but stops when Xavier pisses himself.

"Why are you laughing at me? When you look like that"

Brian cops on and growls at me jumping out of the bed and going to the mirror

"Megan I'm going to kill you"

I was so busy snorting away like a pig to care. Xavier is holding his stomach until Brian hands him a mirror and his face falls as I get up out of bed and run like f**k screaming as they chase me around the house.

I stop and hide behind emmets special chair. He's sitting on it and looks in my direction

"What's Megan doing"

"Playing hide and seek with toasty and Brian. Don't tell them I'm here"

"Ok sister"

Brian comes barrelling into the room trying to find me. I hold my breath as I hear mum and dad laughing from the kitchen but the most amazing thing happens and I hear a loud happy genuine laugh. Everyone stops and looks at him pointing to Brian

"Hahahahahahahaha sister Megan did that to your face. Megan's so funny she's not hiding behind my chair"

Mum comes into the room with tears streaming down her face with dad who's holding his heart like it's about to explode with love as they watch emmet take into fits of laughter. A laugh so contagious everything else was forgotten about as we all laughed with him.

I'm 100% sure the boys would get me back eventually and I hope it's in a fun way as I try to move on from yesterday's events.

but right now nothing was going to ruin this moment. When he stops laughing I get up and hug mum and dad as tears streamed down both their faces mirroring my own.

"I need coffee. You 2 can get me back later"

I said through happy sobs pulling away and heading for the kitchen.

"Oh don't you worry we already know exactly what we are going to do, but for now I need to wash my face before the men get here for your stuff"

They both leave the room as I have coffee with my parents, very aware that this could be the last time I get to enjoy a moment like this for heaven knows how long. I just hope when I'm there I don't lose myself to trauma. I see mum look at me funny like she knows something is wrong but she wouldn't read me until I asked her to. Even though I desperately wanted to tell her I also wanted to be close to brian. Even if that means dealing with xaviers abuse.

"I can't believe the impression those boys have had on emmet in such a short time. They are definitely keepers"

I force a smile at mum's words but I can see she can see through it.

"Yeah at least brian will be around to have some fun"

They share a look but say nothing as I drink my coffee in silence.

"So are you ready for the responsibility of the 4 boys?"

I shake my head unsure of what to say

"They are his brothers. I know I would never be able to live without my brothers or sisters so it doesn't really matter if I'm ready or not, I'll just need to deal with it. He will get a nanny like he said. I'm not ready to be anyone's mother"

I answer dad honestly. He gives me a side hug as the doorbell rings and mum answers it. In walks 3 men I don't know and all of them bare there neck to me shocking me a little

"Luna, nice to meet you. we are here to get you moved in"

I nod and point down towards the hall. They follow behind me as I bring them to my room. I tell them that the pr packages can not be opened but the rest can be put away.

Then I show another man to the garage and I'm surprised to see a bike trailer attached to their cars. I show them my bikes and helmets and they get to work loading them up with the instructions to lift the others at the pack house.

"They are amazing Luna. I can't wait for you to show us what you can do on those"

I grin at the boy named Adam not much older than myself

"I'll definitely give you all a demonstration. As long as you don't scream like a baby like Brian did"

I chuckle at the memory. It was definitely one of my most memorable memories. I went back inside and the men had worked fast emptying my room. I heard the shower going so I pulled out the clothes I had ready for the day, slipping mine off. As I reached for my bra the bathroom door opened and Brian walked out and screamed like a baby.

It scared the crap out of me and I screamed back and jumped into bed and rolled myself up in the duvet. Xavier came running in while we were still screaming and scrambling around the room. He growled and pounced on Brian making me squeal louder.

Mum and dad ran in and jumped into action pulling Xavier of Brian

"Dude I didn't know she was in here. I just finished showering and I was not expecting to see her naked. I covered my eyes before I seen anything important"

Xavier seemed to calm a little as I took into a fit of nervous giggles and face palmed myself. Mum was sniggering and dad was trying to keep a straight face.

"I don't think I've ever moved that fast this time in the morning. Jez you really nearly gave me a heart attack"

Brian started to chuckle to

"I know"

"Ok everyone leave so I can get decent please"

They all left me to it except Xavier. When the door was closed he walked over to me and handed me my bra. I glared at him then at the door. Why was he in here? He shook the bra in my face.

"Earth to Megan!"

I growled and snapped it from him. He sighed and shook his head then sat down holding his head in his hands.

"Look I'm sorry the way things played out yesterday. I'm sorry that's not how you expected it to go but just please give me a chance. I know in time you will be happy. It just takes time to get used to all this stuff. It won't hurt the next time"

"Well I'm still f*****g bleeding because of what you done to me! I'm not healing and the doc said it's because I'm not ready to be sexually active so stay the f**k away from me and I might consider giving you a chance"

He paled at my words and for once he looked guilty.

"Megan, I had no idea. I'm sorry you're in pain. I really am I don't want to hurt you ever"

I laugh and shake my head at him. I was so angry

"Yeah well you should have thought of that before you forced me"

"Megan, I did not force you. This is what happens to everyone. I'm sorry you're hurt but stop getting angry at me for doing what I'm meant to do. Please can we start over. Now the marking business is over we can take all the time you need.

I won't be rough when we do it next and I'll take better care not to hurt you. But please can we get over this and be a normal mated couple. Just try to let the bond work. It's there under your anger. Anger you shouldn't have. It's affecting the bond Megan and if you don't let it go you are ruining your own happiness. Just let the anger go and stop letting it control our relationship"

He makes me sick. I hate him so much but is he right? Is what he says true? Is this really what happens? Is that what it's meant to be like? Maybe if I ease off on him it will get better. I could try for my own happiness at least. I look at him and push the anger and fear away.