Mated or fated? (Completed Book #5 of the blood moon saga)

5

Me

What if we shift

Harper

We can't not with the way he's holding us

I nod and retreat into my mind devastated that he has ruined me. Devastated that I mean so little to my own mate. Devastated that even if I reject him no one will want me. I feel a sharp painful ripping sensation and I cry with Harper in our mind.

The pain never stopped, only getting worse as my body gave up and I allowed my subconscious to take over so I didn't have to see it happen.

I felt his hands on me and they made me sick. He made me sick. I made myself sick. I did this. I brought us here and I stripped.

Harper

Stop thinking like that, you didn't know our mate was a monster. He didn't take no for an answer so this is on him not us. Don't blame yourself, blame him. It doesn't matter if we were butt naked he should not touch us without permission.

"Fuckkk your so tight ahhhh"

He roared loudly, his reaction made me want to kill him. How could he talk to us like we were enjoying it! How could he do that to us.

Now I knew that no matter what I felt or how painful or traumatising it was for me he would enjoy himself and that terrified me to the core. 200 years of this. I'd rather burn in hell.

"Are you ok baby?"

Am I ok? Is he f*****g serious! What kind of bastard is he! Harper pushed forward and I let her

"f**k YOU! We hate you!"

He grabs our face painfully

"That mouth is going to get you in trouble"

More tears fell from my eyes as both of us lay in the back of our mind trying to ignore what was happening to us.

I felt his His lips crush against me again as he continued to rape us. I closed my eyes tight only to open them and scream as he marked us. Harper growled and we fought against him.

He marked us.

he f*****g marked us!

We will never be free of him. Never have a life worth living. I cried silent tears. At that moment I was so glad I had contraception in my arm. I didn't want a child made from whatever this was. I didn't want a child made from hate.

I just cried as he got off me and I lay there looking at the stars. Pain all over my body where he had bruised me and my insides felt like they were doused in petrol and lit on fire.

I felt the rush of his emotions flow into me and I cried harder. He didn't even feel guilty for what he did. He was a monster. A f*****g monster and now I was tied to him forever.

"You need to clean up"

He says calmly behind me, dressing himself. I cried but crawled back to the water. The pain was so bad but I wanted him off me. I wanted his scent of my skin and his seed to be gone. If I clean myself, maybe I won't feel so dirty. Harper just cried in the background.

I washed myself quickly in the water. The ground under me was covered in blood. I looked at it shocked then I saw the water change to red. I was bleeding a lot. I new the first time would hurt but I didn't think there would be this much blood

Harper

It's because you weren't wet. You didn't want it so your body fights against it. Or I think that's what happens.

Me

That makes sense

I washed gently then climbed out and pulled on my clothes. I was shivering and decided to sit by the rock wall. I lit a fire with an old log hoping it would warm my chilled body. If I drove back like this I'd be cold forever. I needed to warm up first.

I let the fire surround me so he couldn't touch me. I didn't want him to touch me. He just stood there watching me as I felt for the bond. He really thinks he did nothing wrong and it sickened me

Harper

We should have set him on fire

Me

I was too afraid to. I've never killed someone before. And what if it started a war and no one believed me

Harper

I know. It's still not your fault killing him would probably make this all worse

The fact he couldn't sit beside me made my body relax and I started to warm up.

"How do you feel?"

He asked me, staring at me confused, the fact he couldn't get near me gave me confidence.

"How do I feel? What kind of f*****g quiestion is that to ask someone after you Rape them!"

He furrows his brows at me. He honestly didn't know what he had done wrong and it confused me to.

"Rape? What the hell are you talking about? I didn't rape you! Your my f*****g mate. We meet, we mate, we mark and we leave! The first time is always uncomfortable but it gets better with time. This happens to everyone who meets their mate. It's not rape it's just what we do. You will get use to it eventually"

Confusion floods my mind. Was he right? Is this what happens? Am I meant to fear him? Not want him but him want me? Was it going to be this painful with anyone? Is he right?

Harper

I don't know his wolf said this is how it happens but I don't know if I believe him

Me

What if he is right?

Harper

I don't know Megan I really don't

"Ok i'll go home and ask my sisters if it's normal they will tell me the truth"

He nods and smiles at me. He actually thought this was a good idea. f**k he must be telling the truth. What if he's telling the truth? Tears brimmed at my eyes again.

————-

Xavier's POV

Burk

Make her believe it's normal. Make her think if she asks her sisters that thief experience is no different

Me

It wouldn't be that much different anyway would it?

Burk

Not really. It's done now and she wears our mark who cares what happens know she is ours

Me

True. I don't think she will let us near her again

Burk

Just wait until the Ailm marks appear then we can do what we like but just make her believe it's all ok. If you keep saying it eventually she will get use to the idea and believe it to

ME

but we didn't rape her. Did we?

Burk

She's ours to do with how we please. No we didn't. She's not like the others she's our mate. This is what mates do

Me

Your right. Your right she's just a little scared because it was her first time. At least we know now she hasn't been slutting about

——————

Megan's POV

All I felt through the bond was honestly and it terrified me because it means he's right. He's right and I'm here crying over something that is normal. But I can't stop the tears. Right or not it made me sick that he touched me.

"Are you excited to meet our pack?"

How can he just change the conversation like that? Like nothing that happened here tonight was wrong and I hated him more for being able to sit there and smile at me. He was deranged.

"I don't care. I don't want to go"

I spit at him. He doesn't take offence though and Carries on like everything was normal. If it was normal why do I feel so bad?

"Well you have no choice. I know it's hard leaving your family but Brian will be there. You seem to see him as a friend"

Brian. Oh I wish I could be in his arms right now. Feel safe with him beside me. Brian said about his brothers and that's why he wanted a mate. Maybe if I get his brothers back he will let me go. Let me leave?

Harper

It's worth a try

"So tell me about your brothers? What age are they?"

He sighs and sits down on the other side of the fire. If he moves too close I'll make it bigger so he can't touch me.

"Well there is zander he is the oldest and he is 10, then jack is 8, Luke is 5 and Paul is 3 almost 4. They are my half brothers. My father died when I was 5 and my mother Jess took over the pack until she met her second chance mate Andrew when I was 8. He was a d**k and he changed her. But the kids were worth putting up with him. They were so funny and I really do love them. Anyway they died in a car crash when Paul was just a few months old and I was 16. I took over the pack and hired nannies to look after the boys and it was all going well until Andrew's parents came with lawyers with what I assume is a fake will stating the boys had to live with them until I met my mate and was with him or her for at least 6 months."

I wonder if that d**k ever raped his mate. I bet not considering they had kids. I push the thought away and try to stay calm and talk to him.

"Why do you think it was fake?"

He sighed and shook his head

"Because they didn't give a s**t about any of us. Not even the baby. Their care was always left to me so I know they didn't go to any effort to make sure they would be ok if they died. I talk to them once a week and they hate it there. Their grandparents treat them like a punching bag so I'm happy that now I've found you I can get them back. All the grandparents want is the money that comes with them. I don't care about that. If I get them back and they are mostly raised by nannies it's better then the life they have now"

"We are getting them back. And we are getting them back now, not in 6 months time. And when we do I want you to reject me"

He froze and I felt rage build up through the bond

"Why the f**k would I do that?"

"You only want me to get them back and I don't want you. So I get them back you reject me and we all get what we want"

He laughs. A sinister cruel laugh. I swallow the confidence I had a moment ago down and squirm under his icy gaze

"That's not how this works sweetheart. You are mine and I am yours. As I said earlier I'm not letting you go plus you're tainted now, nobody but me will ever want you. I've taken what you have to offer and it's mine. So get up and come so we can get OUR brothers back and pack your room up"

I cry with Harper. He was right and I hated it. Hated him.

Me

What the hell am I going to do!

Harper

Play along for now. Maybe if we are good he won't force us again.

I stand up and Xavier snorts at me. Then his gaze meets my face and he stiffens

"Why are you so against this?"

"Did I stutter the first f*****g time? You raped me. I don't want you! Get it into your head now"

He jumps the fire and grabs my face painfully pushing me against the rock wall behind me.

"I did not f*****g rape you! I told you it was normal now suck it the f**k up! You belong to me. This body is mine. These lips are mine! You are mine! Understand?"

He doesn't give me time to answer, he crushes my lips to his and I cry again. He was right and I was wrong. He let me go and I let the tears fall

"Megan do you understand"

I nod and wipe my tears away

"I understand"

I walk out, through the fire and climb on my bike. He gets on behind me and holds onto my waist painfully. I ignore the pain and start the bike. I was his and nobody could stop him.

We drove straight back to the packhouse where the old grumpy alphas were getting drunk. I searched the area and found mum and dad and then Caden and Baylee. I hugged mum and tried to hold back the tears as she held onto me for dear life.

She lifted my head and looked at me.

"What's wrong love?"

"I just feel a little overwhelmed"

I answer, trying to hold back the tears. I ignore my feelings and look to them all

"I need your help"

"What's up? Hang on, are you marked?"

Baylee said wide eyed and excited. My face went bright red under their gaze as Xavier came up behind me and pulled me into his chest. I stiffened in his arms. I hated him. Hated that he marked me. Hated that he mated me. I just nodded not saying anything.

"Well damn I'm happy for you both"

Dad said, slapping Xavier on the shoulder. Mum pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead

"Amazing. Welcome to the family Xavier. So what's wrong?"

I took a breath and told Xavier to explain everything to my family and before He even got to the end Baylee was growling with such ferocity it nearly knocked me on my ass.

"You have my word that We will do everything in our power to get your brothers back. I need the name of the pack and you need to be prepared to go ASAP"

As I peered up at Xavier I was shocked to see tears stream down his face. Something inside me wanted to comfort him even though he caused me so much pain.

I put my hand to his cheek and he groaned leaning into my touch. He opened his eyes and wiped his tears from his face and I realised I'd just comforted this monster and the sinking feeling in my stomach got worse.

"Thank you. Thank you so much"

Then he kissed me and I went stiff as a pole. No, I didn't want this. But everyone was watching and I was terrified of what he would do if I refused him so I opened my mouth slightly and let him do the work as I stood there like a statue with a stick up it's ass.

Someone cleared their throat and I was relieved that I could pull away from him. As soon as I was out of his reach I relaxed slightly.

I was so relieved I was surrounded by my family at that moment. Toasty chuckles and kisses my forehead at my red face. But it wasn't embarrassment, it was anger. Then he turns his attention back to my family.

"Sorry for interrupting but can you tell me the name of the pack your brothers are in?"

"The dusk pack. The alpha seems like a real d**k he has point blank refused to hand them over. Thankfully their teacher has taken pity on them and allows them to ring me once a week"

Caden growls and shakes himself of a little

"He is a horrible man, I only met him a few times but he's definitely not a good person. I think it might be better if we fly down there and demand them back"

I smile at least I would be with my family. He couldn't hurt me when I was with them.

"I'm definitely up for that. Will the pack be ok if we leave for a while toasty"

I say looking up at Xavier. He looks proud that I actually care about his pack but I don't care. I just don't want to be around him alone so if I play along and act happy about this he won't have any objections to me staying by my sister's side.

"They will be fine, Brian's father is in charge so there won't be any trouble. The faster I get them back the better"

"Right go start packing Megan we will leave once I get the pilot on the phone. Try grab a few hours of sleep until then"

I smile and wave goodbye to my family, nervous to be in a bed beside him. I decided I needed to see Brian. If he was with me Xavier couldn't touch me.

I led Xavier back to my bike. We climb on and I drive to the pub so we can get Brian. I crave his safety. I want his safety. But when I find him with his tongue stuck down a blondes throat as we arrive I nearly barf, and suddenly I'm jealous. I try to swallow it before Xavier sees it and hurts me because of it. Toasty starts to laugh and I roll my eyes. His laugh disgusts me

"He is such a player"

"I'm sure he isn't the only one"

I mutter quietly but he seems to hear me and his cheeks flare slightly. He kissed my cheeks and hops of the bike and gave me his hand. I ignored it and climbed off, disgusted that his lips touched me again.

He grabs my hand painfully and yanks me with him. I try not to cry out in pain as his hand crushes mine. He slaps Brian in the back as we walk into the pub. Brian pulls away and his face lights up when he sees me. I smile back sadly. So glad to have him around.

"Luna alpha where the hell were you? I had to get drunk on my own and it's not even my birthday. Come with me I have something for you both"

He grabs my other hand and leads us through the crowd of drunk people. I already feel safer so I relax and chuckle at him. I roll my eyes when James and Lola come into view. They were sucking face. Keagen, Aaron and Mitchel were dancing and sitting on the table was a bottle of tequila. Brian hands it to me after he opens the lid.

"To the new Luna if the Opal black pack"

I giggle at his goofiness and take a huge slug of the bottle. Anything to rid me of the desire to light my hand on fire and burn my mate. The only reason I didn't was because I now feel his feelings and I don't want to burn for the rest of my life.

I feel the sting at the back of my throat and the warm feeling as the alcohol enters my bloodstream and warms me up from the inside out.

I drink a lot while Brian and Xavier talk about our plans. The 3 of us leave together after that and I take my bottle of tequila with me. When we get outside I climb on my bike and Brian's eyes widen.

"I'm not getting on that death trap with you ever again"

I snort and laugh like a pig at the memory. But I take the opportunity to keep Xavier at a distance.

"Both of you can shift and race me home then help me pack. Come on give me your clothes"

They both start undressing and I watch and I can't help but appreciate Brian's body. After all, it is right in front of me. Toasty growls from beside him and my eyes widen and my face heats when I realise he caught me looking, terror fills me as I feel how angry he is at me through the bond.

"Sorry"

I mumble moving my eyes away from them both and looking to the stars. Xavier hands me both their clothes as they shift. Xaviers fur was midnight black, he was huge. Brian's wolf was bigger, but his wolf had Sandy blonde hair like himself. Both their wolves came up to me and licked my face. Even xaviers wolf disgusted us. He let that happen to us and I hate him for it.

"Gross"

I wiped the slobber from my face as Brian's wolf sat down with his tongue sticking out. I started the bike and grinned at them.

"1...2...3....gooooo!"

I took off through our territory at full speed, their wolves are hot on my tail but I led the way going up and down the hills and going through my favourite shortcuts and ramps. We made it home in just a few minutes. I stopped with a skid and slid the bike the entire way round so I'm facing them both. I chuckled when I realised how out of breath they are.

I turn the bike off and hop off

"I'll make the coffee while you change"

I walked into the house and started the coffee pot as Sarah walked in yawning. When she saw me she gave me a large smile.

"Well your mate has made quite the impression on emmett. He seems to really like him and his beta. I think he can read people better than anyone else so if he approves I approve"

She was right. Normally Emmet was amazing at reading people and if he was nervous around someone it's because he can see something that we can't. It's his superpower. I just wish he didn't like him because it would be easier to reject him if he believed he was no good

"Is he still calling him toasty?"

Sarah laughs and nods her head and pulls out her phone just as Brian and Xavier walk in and over to us.

"Yes. I got the reaction on camera and I can't stop watching it"

We all piled over Sarah's shoulders to watch the video. On the screen was emmet talking to lupus his wolf.

"Megan called him toasty. Hahaha he looks like a toasty hahahaha She has a mate called toast hahahaha"

My breath caught in my throat as the short video ended and tears streamed down my face. Brian and toasty looked me over worried.

"What is it?"

"He's never laughed before"

Is all I could say as I turn around and pull Sarah into a hug. Welcoming the familiar scent and comfort I feel around her.

"Please send me the video. I can't believe he laughed. He laughed because of you"