Countless Times

Kabanata 2

KABANATA 2

Sino 'to?!

Napahawak ako sa'king noo at hinilot muli, habang nakatingin sa phone ko na nasa kama basta ko nalang hinagis.

My phone started to rang.

Kaya agad ko kinuha iyon at napakagat sa'king labi.

"Hey.. i miss you so much scarlet.."

"Amputa? Kapal ng mukha ha!" Mae shouted in annoyance, annoyance at the same time anger written on her face.

I sighed and close my eyes tightly. Narinig ko ang pag sipa nya sa upuan na nasa harapan namin.

Enzo and I didn't talk, sa gulat ko ay nababa ko ang tawag. I cried all night, after the call. Mabuti nalang ay saktong gabi at hindi narin ako nakalabas maging nakakakain, i just locked up myself inside of my room.

"Ewan ko jan sa pinsan mo gary, go talk to your cousin at alam kong may plano na namang makipag balikan yan!" Mae walked out, away from us.

Sinundan ko lamang sya ng tingin. Gary followed his eyes at mae too, he's my cousin, yet for me he's annoying.

Gary shifted his eyes at me. Napairap s'ya sa'kin na aking kinagulat. I looked away and pinch my left hand skin. My mannerism.

"Stop the crap scarlet, you're hurting yourself" he sitted besides me at nag crossing his legs.

Napangiwi naman ako, seriously? Ganito naba ang mga lalaki ngayon?

"Alam mo. I know you from the very start and i love you as my sister.." gary begun.

Napasulyap ako sa kaniya.

"I wanted to be close to you, nuong mga bata pa tayo.." he looked at me, smiling.

"Kahit halos mag ka edad lang tayo, I treated you as my sister. Alam mo namang nag iisa akong anak, and besides my mom and i was left alone of my dad. Hindi na nag planong mag asawa at mag anak si mama.."

Suddenly gary patted my head, ginulo pa ang aking buhok. "Heal your heart and choose your self too scarlet.. you're fighting while him, he's no longer fight for you"

He smiled a bit, "Don't forget to choose yourself at once.."

Gary stood up, nag pamulsa at nakatingin kung saan, na aking tinignan lamang siya. After all, his my cousin/brother, I treated him as my brother back at time when were young. It just like that, one of the why na hindi kami masyadong close ngayon, na nabaling ang atensyon ko sa iba. In fact, their house was far away from us, kaya simula nu'ng tumong-tung kami ng highschool, they never visit.

I smiled at him, and nodded. "Thanks gary. I got this, I promise.." tumayo ako at pinantayan s'ya.

"We're always here for you lucy, hindi ka nag iisa. Gusto mo puntahan na natin 'yang gago mong ex tapos gulpihin ko-"

Hinampas ko ang kaniyang braso. "Siraulo ka!" Sigaw ko, at sabay kaming tumawa.

--

"Lucy.."

Napatigil ako sa pag lalakad nang marinig ang boses ni papa. Matapos ang klase ay agad akong umuwi. Luckily I didn't see that convient guy, maging ang band nila na hindi pakalat kalat at nag iingay sa part ng university.

I walked towards to my papa, he's seating on chair. "Ano po 'yon, pa?"

He looked at me, straighly to my eyes. Kinabahan naman ako sa paraang pag titig niya dahil tila mapanuri ito ng maari kong emosyon o kung ano man.

He looked away, "Nasa ibabaw ng mesa mo ang allowance mo ngayong buong buwan.." nag likha ng ingay ang upuan pag ka tayo niya.

"Iwasan mo ang pag iinok dahil babae ka, hindi ko gusto laging nag iinom at uuwi kang ganuon, mamaya kung anong mangyari sa'yo.."

He walked pass me by, he's now on my back. "Be responsible and respect yourself, you're a woman now lucy.. umakto ka ng parang babae na may pinag aaralan.."

Huli nyang sinabi hanggang sa nawala na ang mga yabag niya.

Napasinghap naman ako at tumigil ang pag t***k ng aking puso. Hindi na bago sa'kin ang pangangaral ni papa, but these..

Damn, hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko o ano. I'm little bit hapoy 'coz after a months he talked to me. May nararamdaman din ako kung anong tumusok sa puso ko dahil sa kaniyang sinabi.

Maybe, I'm just being an insensitive.

I sighed heavily my grip on my bad tightened. Napailing na lamang aio at tahimik na pumasok sa loob ng aking kwarto.

I decided to take a half bath first upang mawala init na nararamdaman ko, also i can have a time to think inside of the bathroom, my usually doing at night. Kung hindi sa kwarto sa loob ng c.r.

Napapikit ako habang unti unting pag buhos ng tubig sa'king katawan. My eyes were closed on tight.

"You're not gonna lose yourself, scarlet.." i whispered to my self while facing the mirror.

Lumabas ako sa'king silid ng nakaramdam ng uhaw. I walked towards at refrigerator, while I'm on my slippers and pajamas. Naoatigil ako sa pag inom ng may naalala akong importanteng bagay sa'kin.

My bracelet. My mom gives that to me.

Bigla akong napahawak sa upuan, dahil tila nahilo ako. To the past few weeks hindi ko alam ang nararamdaman ko, lagi nalang akong nahihilo, lagi ring nag hahabol ng hininga.

I must stop drinking liquors for now on.

Saan naman napunta ang bracelet na iyon? Sa pag kakatanda ko, i always take that off inside of the bathroom. Tama baka naruon lamang iyon.

My heart started to pumped fastly nang hindi ko mahanap iyon sa loob ng c.r. Halos itaob ko na ang lahat ng bagay na makikita ko sa kwarto maging sa sala.

I decided to find it inside of my papa's room. Ngunit paniguradong tulog na s'ya sa dis- oras ng gabi. Dis oras ng gabi kung sa'n nag hahanap at gumagawa ako ng ingay, dahil sa katangahan ko kapag nawala ko iyon.

Fuck, the only thing that had from my mom.

Napasabunot ako sa sarili kong buhok. I'm getting frustrated, dahil kanina ko pa ito hinahanap.

Naagaw ng aking pansin at napatagal ang pag titig ko sa kahon na nakalagay sa ilalim ng upuan. I'm on my knees, crawling toward on it.

Nang mahawak ay pinagpag ko ito. There are few scath tape on it, magulo ito at halatang inagiw na sa tagal. I stood up and decider to get a cutter upang mas mapadali ang pag bukas ko.

My lips parted when i finally see those tgings inside of the box. It was my mom's stuff..

Nag simulang bumilis ang t***k ng puso ko ng isa isang kinuha iyon. First layer was her things, her ring and I can't see my papa wear the ring same as these.

Isa isa ko iyong tinanggal mula sa kahon. My eyes started to tear. Maingat ang pag hawak at pag halungkat ng gamit ng aking ina.

Still, i couldn't help it to cry while having my mama's things on my hand. Marahan kong hinaplos ng mahawakan ang kaniyang damit. It's a blue blouse and have ribbon on the sleeves.

Hindi ko namalayan ang luha na nahulog na mula sa'king mata, pababa sa'king pisngi.

I hug the clothes of my mama, i closed my eyes tightly and let out a small sobbed.

--

I cursed silently when someone buml on my back. My forehead creased. I glanced on my back.

Nanlaki ang aking mata, "Ikaw na naman?!"

Nag tataka ang kaniyang tingin sa'kin. His other eyebrow raised.

Humarap ako sa kaniya, "Na-nandya kaba?"

"Sorry miss, I swear hindi ko sinasadya- aw s**t!"

Hinampas ko sya using my bag. Dumaing daing ang lalaking ito at umilag ilag pa! Talaga lang huh!? Nakaraan pa 'tong gagong 'to!

"Si vioxx 'yon hindi ba?"

"Girl omyg! That's vioxx from range right?! Bakit may humahampas sa kaniya?!"

Napatigil ako sa aking ginagawa at pasimpleng tinignan ang iilang babaeng nakapalibot sa'min ngayon. They are glaring at me, while the few people are whispering to each other.

Dahan dahan kong binaba at pinirmi ang aking kamay sa strap ng aking bag.

I looked back again to an asshole infront of me. "Buwisit" i murmured and started walking away from him.

Nang maka alis ay ramdam ko ang pag tingin habang nag lalakad ako sa hallway ng building.

Tanginang mga fan girls na 'yon! As if like I'm going to steal their 'idol' from them! Mukha ngang aso yon at gangster!

"What the.."

I stood up from where i was seating. Kasalukuyan akong nasa loob ng library pag katapos ng klase. It was fine here and silent kaya malaya akong makakagawa ng tahimik ng sketch ko.

Hindi ko inaasahan na may aso na naman rito!

"Excuse me? Mukha ba akong aso?" I asked him.

Vioxx looked at me, "You're talking with me?"

"Hindi mo ba narinig o tanga ka?" Ang iilan ay napalingon sa'min.

I bit my lower lip in anger, "I asked you, mukha ba akong aso?" I asked again.

Mukhang narinig niya naman, ngunit bakas parin ang pag kalito sa kaniya.

"Huh?"

I smirk, "Buntot ka kasi ng buntot" i rolled my eyes at him at sinimulang ligpitin ang aking gamit.

"I wasn't following you miss..huwag kang feeling" aniya at ngumisi sa'kin.

"What did you say?!" Mahina ngunit gigil ang aking boses.

Namulsa sya saking harapan. He even tilted his head while staring on my face. I was staring at him while my eyebrows on furrowed.

"Nah, you're beautiful.."

"A little bit dumb.. kaka turn off" the last tging he said before he left me.

What?!

As if na gusto kong mapuri mula sa katulad niya na mukhang aso at sandok! Did he just called me a dumb?! Baka s'ya! Tanga tanga palagi! Laging nambabangga! Wala ba s'yang mata?!

Turn off?! As if! Ang feeling na gwapong mukhang aso na bwesit ng lalaking iyon!

I starled and almost jump when my phone vibrate from the pocket of my blouse. Dali dali ko iyong pinatay kahit hindi ko nakita kung sino ang tumatawag.

I sigheh heavily bago tinago sa'king bulsa ang aking phone.

"Easy lang niyan scar, do you want me to help you?"

I lifted my eyes at joseph. He's kind, and he's the president of the class, kasama rin s'ya sa deans lists at maganda ang club na sinalihan niya, they're all geniuses as hell.

Ngumiti lamang ako sa kaniya at umiling. "Kaya ko na 'to, thank you" mahina kong sabi.

Napakamot s'ya sa kaniyang batok at tumango na lamang. Pinaikot ikot ko naman ang lapis sa'king daliri.

Greek Parthenon lamang ito, at hindi ko 'to natapos kagabi dahil sa pag iyak kaya ngayon ko lang tinuloy. Wala ata sa mood ang prof namin kaya random lang ang pinapagawa.

"Yung range!!"

"Omy God, eren! Anakan mo 'ko!!"

"The f**k?" Rinig kong sabi ni skyler, nakangiwi s'ya ng bahagya habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.

Bumuntong hininga ako at nilingon ang lahat ng tinitignan ng aking mga ka blockmates.

It's range. They're walking at the hallway, I don't even know their names kaya iniwas ko nalang ang tingin, and the convient boy was not with them, kaya hindi na kailangan na mag tago and whatsoever. Baka mas lalo lang akong mainis kapag nakita ko ang mukha nung vioxx na aso na 'yon.

Malakas ang pag bubulungan sa labas, maging ang iilan kong kaklase ay lumabas rin. My forehead creased and decided looked outside, kubg ano ang nangyari.

Full of pimple of her face, manang kung mag suot at malaki ang kaniyang salamin. Natanaw ko ito sa hindi kalayuan, even tho she has that, I can see that she's pretty.

Society ruins it, because of their high standards. Hindi nila alam, we are all perfectly imperfect.

Nanlaki at napasinghap ang lahat ng biglang lumuhod ito sa harap ni vioxx at paulit ulit na nag sorry. My eyes shifted on the flooring, may isang cup at may kulay orange din iyon, natapunan nung babae si vioxx sa damit.

Mas lalong lumakas ang pag bubulungan ng lahat. Obviously, hindi na ito bulungan dahil nag paparinig na sila.

Pathetic people.

Hinawi ko ang iilang taong nadaaanan ko at agad na nasa harapan ako. The guys were just staring at her.

Ano ba sila gangster? Bakit hindi nila tinutulungan 'yong babae? Hindi ba't they are just starting building their name of the band. And they must be kind! Or something na mag pasikat!?

The hell?

Hahakbang pa lamang ako ay naramdaman ko na ang pag higit ng kung sino man sa'king braso. My hand are still in fist dahil sa naramdamang inis ko sa kanila!

"Anong ginagawa mo?!" It's mae.

"What?" Inis kong sagot, i run my fingers on my hair and biting my lower lip.

I looked back again to mae, "Seriously? Hindi mo ba nakita 'yon? Lahat ng tao walang gustong tumulong sa babae-"

"Enzo was here"

Napatigil ako at natikom ang aking labi. Tila nalagutan ako ng hininga and i can't almost breath because of what she'd said.

"W-what?"

She sighed and looked away. "I was middle of the road, on the way here, then i saw him, not sure where he'll go, but.. ready yourself"

I gulped hardly. Nanlamig ang aking kamay, at namasa ang aking ilong sa kaba.

I didn't even know what should be my reaction.

I bit my lower lip and looked away. For sure, if it was him, he'll find eay just to see me. At hindi ko alam ang magiging desisyon ko maging ang gagawin ko.

Damn.

And..

What everything mae said.

Enzo was really here. Infront of me, after almost five going to six, he's here infront of me.

Bulket of tears came and fell from his eyes while staring at me.

I didn't even know, but i just found myself, running and hug, embracing him tightly on my arms.

He's.. .

Still my home..