Hello, Kenzo

Missing Him

"So, who's to blame? We just want the best for Mom! Is that bad?" My aunt's voice is shrill and high-pitched from above me as I sit down in my chair at breakfast.

I went home as quickly as I could after receiving a message from my family that my grandmother had just passed away. I exhaled and felt helplessness wash over me. The only thing I could do was watch as my mom looked up at my aunt with a blank expression on her face. It doesn't seem like she's even there anymore. She sat there with the same dull, lifeless look as when I went home three days ago.

"So, we don't want the best for Mom?" my mother answered back. "I was just saying that we can't afford such an expensive coffin."

I am sick and tired of hearing all these rants. We could afford it, but it was not practical at all to spend so much on a coffin.

"Really? Stella can afford it!" my aunt finally said, which made me stand up from my chair.

"That is enough! Can't we give Grandma some peace?" I interrupted them as I walked to the living area.

I tried hard to live a different life, but I guess life won't let me.

"There she is. You can afford all this, right? We count on you!" my aunt says while turning her head toward me with fake concern.

It hurts me to see my mom acting like she has no heart.

When I turn to look at her again, she's still staring straight ahead at nothing. It seems like she was trying to fight off whatever was haunting her thoughts.

My stomach feels heavy.

"If I can, will you be out of our sight?" I asked her without any emotion on my face.

"You..."

"What?"

"Don't you dare, you insolent child!"

"I will do whatever I want, whenever I want, so if you don't have anything else to say, just leave!" I ended our conversation.

I no longer have the ability to be kind at the moment. I just wanted to have peace and for Grandma to get some rest.

Two more days passed, and I had to say goodbye to Grandma for good.

"Grandma, hey, it's me Stella. Take a rest now, ok? I tried to be a good grandma, but life keeps on giving me reasons not to. So, I guess, I'll just have to go back to how I used to be. Maybe that would be better for everyone. So please, take all my pains away with you. I love you. Always." I cried as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I splashed her with holy water as my last goodbye before the priest finally closed her tomb.

After doing all these things for her and taking care of her, I didn't think my heart could handle seeing her gone forever.

My heart was broken, and it wasn't going to heal anytime soon.

I have never talked to anyone again since my encounter with Aunt Perry. It's better that way. My mouth would not be spewing any good words anyway.

"Stella, come eat!" my mom called to me while I sat on the bench outside our house across from grandma's house.

Memories really are painful as hell!

"I'm fine, Mom! Don't worry. You know that I can't take in those fake people. I better starve here."

"I'll bring you food, then. Ok? Take a rest!"

I scrolled on my phone after my mom left. Just looking at my relatives makes my stomach churn, and I can't just waste my energy just because of them.

One notification was received!

My phone vibrated two more times, and I clicked on the notifications.

Someone just messaged me.

And he is good-looking.

I paused for a second and slit a very grim smile.

I might as well give myself a different shot.

I responded, and who knew? I really had a great time talking to him over the night.

The next morning, I started packing up my clothes to return to the city for work.

Any more minutes here would really slowly kill me.

I kissed my daughter and mom goodbye and hugged my father before driving.

There were no long words needed; we were all devastated. We all need some time.

I reached my apartment in time before the nearest bar closed, so I went for a quick drink.

I was so tired, but I had no choice. Not with all the sh*t that has happened recently. I sat down on a stool and ordered a drink. As much as I wanted to ignore my mind, my body was screaming so much of Kenzo as soon as I hit the road back to the city.

I couldn't help thinking about his eyes, his hands, his hair, and every damn bit of it. I've never fallen in love in my whole life this differently. Kenzo was everything I hoped for and dreamed of. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a man.

My phone vibrated, which interrupted my thoughts. It was the guy from last night.

I ignored his messages and drank myself out to fall asleep easily.

My body needed to tire out so that my mind would not try to keep thinking about Kenzo.

Weeks went by, and the guy messaging me was successful in getting me distracted.

He texted every day with random questions or sweet talks. At first, I was afraid of him being just an attention seeker, but then I realized that he was genuinely interested in knowing what I liked or disliked. I started to think of Kenzo less and less each day.

"Hey, wanna come with us later?" Jam, my co-teacher, asked me from behind while we lined up for food in the canteen.

"I want to, but I have a movie to finish." I politely refused.

Not that I was starting to track a better life and avoid alcohol, but I just can't pretend that it's okay for him to flirt with me.

He's not in any way one-fourth of my ideal man. Not a single strand of his hair compares to Kenzo's.

Wait! What?

Argh!

I let the afternoon pass by and went home. I brought some drinks on my way to my apartment.

When I arrived, I put the drinks in my fridge and went to change my clothes.

I prefer cold drinks with movies. A little coolness can do wonders for me and ease the stress.

I opened my closet to find something comfortable to wear, grabbed a white tank top, and sank myself on the couch with just my tank top and undies after fetching my drinks.

But before I could even open my laptop, a message popped up on my phone.

I checked it, and it was the place I ordered Vri's birthday preparations.

This week would be very beneficial to me in order to get Kenzo out of my system. I'll be busy with Vri's birthday preparations, and at the same time, I am giving myself a good time alone.

The night passed by with just me drinking and watching movies. I prepared an early breakfast the next morning for my solo trip to do my shopping list for Vri's birthday.

"Hi, this is Stella. I booked an eight-o'clock single trip to Valenzuela. Yes, I am ready!"

I decided to ride a motorcycle to Valunzuela. It'll be nice to have a good day.

The weather outside was really nice. When I stepped out of the building to go on the street, it was almost seven o'clock. I had to go grab some food to take with me on my journey.

By eight-thirty, I was already on my way to Valenzuela, smiling happily as I rode on a motorcycle. The weather was perfect for a drive, and the views I saw along the way were breathtaking from time to time. It's quite relaxing and free.

"Ma'am, look, that spot is very known to many tourists." My driver interrupted me while pointing a huge bridge ahead.

"Really?"

"Yes, mam! Would you like to have a stop?"

"No. I'm fine. I needed to get to my destination in time." I respectfully declined.

He was thoughtful enough to offer, but I know he was just trying to flirt with me. As if I'd let him.

After half an hour, I finally reached the destination I'd been dreaming of. I got off the motorcycle and paid for parking.

I asked around about the place where I ordered some gowns and souvenirs and finally crossed out half of my lists during my time in Valenzuela. It was a great time.

I went home and was so drained from all my activities. But there was still more to do, so I spent my whole week cutting, pasting, preparing, and everything else.

But then one night, I just couldn't really be so tough to act fine all the time. I just can't. But at least just for tonight, I guess.

I was cutting some drawings I made myself, and my tears kept flowing without my control.

I don't even remember when it started; I was just crying uncontrollably, not caring about the mess I created.

"Sh-t!" I mumbled through my tears.

"Come on, Stella!" I heaved to stop myself.

"I can't stop! I missed him badly!"

I tried to move away from my room, but my body was too weak.

How could I? He's my strength.

Until a familiar shrill of cold crept through my body. I just saw my phone light up with the name I had been praying to see this whole time.

"Kenzo," I breathed.