Kelly

Five

Dinner was at seven. I was there at ten minutes to. I sat in the same chair as this morning. The big table in the dining room was piled with food that looked really yummy. But Marcy had directed me to the same table I sat at this morning for breakfast without saying a word. I sat with my hands in my lap and my head bowed. I didn't understand why I had to sit here again. I had thought it was just this morning because Caleb had woken me.

Soon, Beta Joseph arrived at the table a briefly glanced over at me before sighing as he sat down. Then Caleb and Noah arrived and took their seats. I noticed that the big table was only set for the four of them. There was no setting for me at this table either. When Aunt Charlotte arrived, Beta Joseph finally spoke up.

"Really Charlotte, what is the meaning of having her sit in there on her own? Are you truly so cruel?" He asked, gesturing with his head toward me.

Aunt Charlotte had the audacity to look shocked. "Joseph don't be ridiculous. There's no space for her at this table. Plus, she isn't one of us yet."

"What does that even mean? She is your blood. She is living in this house. She is under this roof. She eats with us."

"She can't, Joseph. She will ruin the boys table settings. They are heirlooms from my mother." She said before she saw the look on Joseph's face and quickly backtracked. "Besides it's easier this way. Once her wolf comes and she has settled then we can think about moving her seat to the boys table for breakfast. "

"That's years away and just plain cruel and you know it." He said quietly. I didn't want to hear them talk about me like this, so I quickly looked back down at my lap. I didn't want them to see my face. But I had heard that I couldn't sit at the big table. Not now. Maybe if I got my wolf and I was 'settled'. I wasn't really sure what settled meant, the doctor had said I was fine and the feelings I was having were completely normal after everything I had been through. I remembered when Marky had gotten into a huge fight with Sissy once and he broke her makeup pallet. Daddy had made him sit at the little table in the corner for dinner and he wasn't allowed to talk to anyone for the whole night. Marky had told me the next day that he felt so alone and that he didn't want to be alone. But he had been a naughty boy. Had I been naughty?

Marcy came into the kitchen and placed a bowl of vegetable soup and a slice of plain bread in front of me. My tummy bear was so hungry. The food from this morning was already long gone. The soup was warm but just like this morning's oatmeal it was bland. There were no little stars or shapes in the bread and it was just white. I missed my Mama's dinners. She always cut my sandwiches into the shape of a wolf and made star soup with little pasta stars in it.

While I ate, I could hear them talking at the big table. They were talking about the pack. About borders and training. Beta Joseph mentioned a school, and I perked up. I liked school. I had friends there. But then Caleb spoke up, and my shoulders slumped.

"Am I going to have to show her around?" he asked, his tone dripping with disdain. "Everyone's going to stare. They already think we're strange for taking in an orphan from another pack."

"Caleb, that's enough," Beta Joseph's warning was clear. "She is your cousin. You will show her respect."

"She's not my cousin," Caleb muttered, just loud enough for me to hear. "My cousin's wouldn't smell like death."

The spoon clattered against my bowl. Death. That was what my old life smelled like. I pushed the bowl away, the soup churning in my stomach. I wasn't hungry anymore.

Marcy came and took my bowl. "Finished, little one?" she asked, her voice softer than I'd heard it before. I just nodded. She gave me a small, sad smile and cleared my place.

I didn't wait to be dismissed. I slipped out of the kitchen and crept back upstairs to my room. The house was so big it felt empty. In my old home, there was always noise. Sissy's music, Marky's video games, Daddy's laughter, Mama humming. Here, there was just the creak of the floorboards and the beating of my own heart.

In my room, I looked over the books on the bookshelf above my desk. I didn't see who added so many books, but they were all brand new, their spines not wrinkly like the ones in Mama book corner. There was one about the history of werewolves, another was a story about a runaway pup and then another was about a boy who goes to space. They were so clean and smooth as I ran my fingers over the spines, not daring to pull them off the shelf. With how Aunt Charlotte was acting, I felt for sure that I would be punished if even one was out of place. I didn't think my brain or my heart would take in the words anyway.

Instead, I went to the window and looked out. The sun had set, and the forest was black and deep and if I looked hard enough I could almost swear I saw eyes looking right back at me. Then a small yellow light flickered on in one of the small houses through the trees. And then another and another as everyone started settling in for the night. I imagined watching some of the wolves running past enjoying the pale moonlight as it made its way through the trees. It didn't look like much moonlight made it into this pack, not like Silverstream. I wondered if the little kids in other homes ate star soup, like what my Mama used to make me. Maybe they played and laughed with their brothers and sisters like I used to with Marky and Sissy. Maybe they felt safe and warm tucked up in their beds by their Mama's and Daddy's. I missed them. I missed them so much I could almost see them. I wanted to ask why they had to leave me behind, why they had to hide me and not keep me with them. That way we could have all been together and I wouldn't be here in this scary pack with a mean Aunt and strange wolves that stared and cousins that told me I was death walking around.

With my chest aching in a way no rubbing with my hand could stop it, I crawled into my bed with my day clothes on. I didn't think anyone would come and make sure I had my bath. They wouldn't come make sure I was tucked up in bed or check if I was scared in the dark. This big house was already completely silent. I wondered if they had already forgotten about me, the lost girl in their home. The burden they never wanted.