Kelly

Six

Soon, a few days passed, and a quiet sort of routine settled in for me. I would wake up on my own, early, before anyone else. I'd get dressed and sit at the small table until Marcy came and gave me my bland breakfast while I sat and watched her make the fancy breakfasts for Charlotte's family. Sometimes the smells alone would make my tummy bear go into hiding. Then I would go back to my room and wait. I wasn't allowed to go outside. Beta Joseph said it was for my own safety until I knew the territory. But I wasn't able to learn it staying inside all day. I was just learning the four walls of my small room and the lonely path from my room to the kitchen. I didn't dare try and explore the house, afraid I would run into Aunt Charlotte who always gave me looks like she was trying to work out the fastest way to make me disappear. Those looks made my tummy touch my toes and my skin go icy. So I was trying to stay far away from her.

One morning, instead of the bland oatmeal that Marcy usually had ready for me, she place a bowl of oatmeal with berries in front of me. For a second I thought I was back at home and couldn't stop the big grin on my face. Then I stood and started to say Mama's name to tell her about the horrible, no good, very bad nightmare I had been having only to see Marcy giving me an odd look. My eyes started to sting and my chest felt heavy as I looked at Marcy. She was not my Mama. She wasn't even my Ma who I used to sneak berries from as she swatted at my hands while laughing that I was a little grubber.

My breaths became gaspy and my hands went tingly. I saw Marcy go to say something but I couldn't be here. I needed to go - but I didn't know where to go. I didn't want the room I was trapped in, I wanted the sky. I wanted the trees. So I ran. I ran as fast as my legs would go and slipped out the back door of the kitchen and found myself in a small courtyard with a gate to the outside. When I tried to open it, my heart gave a thud as it opened without a sound. Then I was gone. Gone into the dark woods with the towering trees and the sparkling eyes. I ran and ran and ran and ran until my chest couldn't run any more. Until my shaky legs gave out under me.

I didn't even eat the berries. I really wanted to. But I wanted Mama more.

My body shook as my sobs tore from my body. I felt like I was drowning, not being able to breathe, not being able to stop the pain. I wondered if this was how I could be with my Mama and Daddy. Could I see Sissy and Marky this way? Do I need to feel enough pain and hurt and tears to be with them again?

Big warm arms wrapped around me as I laid on the cold dirt, all my energy gone. Not even enough left for the tears that dried all over my face to keep running. The arms pulled me into a chest that smelt like rain and warmth and I couldn't help but to curl into whoever this was. No one had held me like this yet, Mama was the last one to hug me as she woke me up the day it all disappeared.

"Oh, little wolf." A deep rumbling voice whispered. They didn't say everything was going to be okay. They didn't say any nice things. They didn't say anything more. They just picked me up and carried me back to the house that didn't want me. They took me to the bathroom off my room and helped me clean up. They picked out a new green dress for me to wear and then waited outside my bedroom for me to change. When I finally stepped out Beta Joseph was still waiting. He took my hand and led me back to the kitchen. Back to those berries. But instead of having me sit alone in the kitchen is pulled me into the dining room and sat me on his lap. He still didn't speak but kept one arm around me while he started eating his own breakfast.

Aunt Charlotte wasn't at the table and neither were Caleb or Noah. I didn't know where they were. But I glanced at Beta Joseph as I picked at the berries. They were sweet and tart, and they burst in my mouth. They really did remind me of Ma's berries and the afternoon's she would take Sissy and me into her garden to pick the bestest berries to go with our breakfasts. My lip trembled as I realised that I wouldn't get to do that anymore. But I kept eating, afraid that Beta Joseph would get mad if I didn't. So I ate them slowly, one by one, making them last. When I was done, I climbed off Beta Joseph's lap and took my bowl back to Marcy at the big sink in the kitchen while glancing at Beta Joseph to make sure he wasn't mad. Marcy was humming a little tune, a sound that was so out of place in the silent house.

"They were yummy, thank you Marcy" I whispered, my throat tight.

She turned, her eyes wide for a second, as if surprised I'd spoken. "I'm glad, little one. My granddaughter loves them too." She rinsed my bowl, her movements gentle. "You know there's a library in the pack house. Beta Joseph mentioned that you like to read, but I noticed that the books in your room haven't been read yet. Are they not books that you like?"

My head snapped up. A library. Marky had said that once I learned to read proper chapter books, he'd take me to the big pack library. But he never got the chance.

"I'd like that. I like the books very much but they are so perfect, I don't want to ruin them." I whispered to Marcy.

"The pack house is the big building in the center of the compound. The one with the flags out front," she continued, wiping her hands on her apron. "You can't miss it and if you ask for the librarian, Ms. Genevieve, she'll help you find any book you want. Tell her Marcy sent you."

My heart gave a little thump of excitement. Something to do. A place to go that wasn't this house. "Okay," I said, my voice still small.

"After lunch," Marcy said firmly. "Don't go wandering off alone before then. The forest can be tricky for a pup who doesn't know its paths."

"I'll take her, it's time she learnt the paths around our pack anyway." The growly voice said making me jump to realise he had been listening the whole time.

I nodded eagerly. For the first time since I'd arrived, the day didn't feel like it was going to stretch into an endless void of waiting. I had a mission.

Lunch was another sandwich, this one with cheese. I ate it quickly. Charlotte was on the phone in her office, her sharp voice carrying through the house. Caleb and Noah were at school. I put my empty plate in the sink, remembered Marcy's instructions, and walked up to the front door where Beta Joseph was waiting for me. He held his hand out to me as he opened the door and for a second I didn't know what to do. He was being nice today, but would Aunt Charlotte get mad if she saw him being nice?