You know nothing

Chapter 3. Blending in

 * Samantha's POV*

Hm.. who.. what...

' Samantha?! Wake up girl..' I recognized Ava's voice.

Then began feeling two hands shaking my shoulders.

' Girl, wake up.' She said again.

' What ?' I asked opening my eyes to see the concerned grimace on Ava's face.

She let out a breath.

' Sam.. You were crying for almost an hour now... Are you alright??' She demanded.

Of course, I was crying... Seeing him every time brings me memories of my mate who I never had, because... It's too hard to speak of it again...

' Oh.. Um.. Just a bad dream... I'm sorry Ava..' She shook her head.

' Is that why you don't sleep?' She asked, ignoring my explanation. I didn't answer...

' Alright.. never mind, we'll speak of it next time.. try to get , I don't know, at least a short nap..' She said and left my room.

Yeah, right... and feel that pain remembering again. No, thank you...

Looked up the time...

Great, at least I slept for five hours...

Should wake up in three more... But as I'm already... I guess I'll just lay like that for a while.

****

' Good morning babe...' Ava greeted me once I stepped out of the room.

' Hey.. I'm sorry for tonight ..' She raised an eyebrow.

' Are you going to speak about it?' She asked.

' No.. maybe after vacation.. It's sad you can't go with me ..'

' Yeah.. Sorry babe , too many booked clients..'

I guess it's time to mention that Ava is a psychologist... And she tries to make me open up to her so she could help me. As she says, she's not blind, and I need help. Bla Bla Bla...

Once she would hear that I'm a werewolf, she would run or even call the damn police or something...

' It's alright..'

' Okay , well then , I'll be going to work.. And um.. See you later.' She said and went back to her room to take her purse.

' See ya..'

After she left, I did as well .. yeah... I found something I enjoy and can even make money out of it for rent, food...

I'm a yoga instructor...

And in my free time, I practice meditation. It's something I fell in love with the moment I tried. It helps me fight my fears... All of them except one.

Him...

****

' Hey girls , you ready?' I asked a group of ladies waiting for me to unlock the studio...

' Oh , hey , welcome to my lessons.' I smiled to a group of six women whom I saw for the first time...

' Amara? Could you please show them the lockers and where the toilets are?' I asked her... Amara is one of my first clients.

' Yes, sure Samantha.' She smiled at me and led the girls to a corridor in the studio.

I've settled my mat in front and got a bottle of water ready, ladies changed their clothes and began gathering with their mats, one of the six new girls came to me... she has short black hair that can barely hold under her ears, dark blue eyes, so lean... Oh.. and she's a werewolf. In fact, all six of them...

' Hey, I'm Vicky and those over there are my friends..' She said happily.

'Hi Vicky , welcome to my classes..' I said friendly.

She smiled and went back to her friends...

****

' Alright ladies.. five minutes of lotus pose to calm your stretched muscles and we are done for today..' all of them shifted to the pose I said.

' Close your eyes and breath in and out as good as you can...' I said and began walking in between them, observing either it's done right or giving a piece of advice if not...

****

' Girls, thanks for today.... and um, enjoy the evening..' I said and went to changing room.

Once out, the studio was already empty... Or so I thought because when I turned to the lockers, I was met by the same blue eyes I greeted today...

' Vicky.. what are you still doing here?' I asked confused.

' Are you a rogue?' I nodded slowly.

' Hm.. Samantha.. Maybe you would like to join our pack then? It's not too far from here...' She said out of nowhere.

' Hm.. uhm... Thank you for suggestion , but I'm good the way it is.. I didn't know that there are werewolves around here..' She smiled.

' Oh yes.. in fact a lot.. just.. not in this part of city...'

' O.. okay ..' Damn you, Rowena!

' Anyway.. if you would like a company of your own kind sometime.. text me, my number is in the information you already have from me..' She chirped happily.

' Thank you... I .. I will...'

' Bye now, see you in two days. ' She said and walked out.

Goddammit, of course I won't... I have no interest in hanging out with werewolves, maybe I should close the studio for a week or two, so they would find another instructor.

' See you soon miss Samantha .' a friendly guard said while I walked to the exit door.

' You too , bye..'

Oh, goddess please no... I lived quietly for three months, what changed ?? Why do werewolves have to come back into my life.. why... I thought of a reason while walking home.

' Miss , you are as beautiful as a rose that just bloomed..' A guy who lives on the streets told me the same phrase as every other day when I pass his corner walking home.

'Hello to you too , thank you John.' I said while putting few bucks in his hat and giving him a sandwich with tea...

' Can I ask you something?' he raised an eyebrow as I sat next to him by the wall.

' Yes miss... ' he said.

' Why do you live in the streets, you could ask for help anytime so you wouldn't need to sleep on cold cement...'

' Miss Samantha... I've done some horrible things while on a mission in Iraq... And I.. I just don't feel like I'm worth saving...' he explained sadly.

' John, I don't know the full story.. but none of what you did is your fault because you were made to do it... It was your duty to the country to save ones and unfortunately to rid of others...'

' Miss.. you don't know how much it means for me to hear at least one human being thinking of me the way you do...' he said thankfully.

' But it's my choice miss... Please , can we not speak of it anymore.. I like the simplicity of living out of other people mercy, for example.. if god thinks I'm worth eating today, he will allow passers to drop few bucks for me , and if he won't , well then I'll be without food for a day or two.. It's my way of paying for my sins which I gladly accepted..' he ended.

'John.. You should forgive yourself and try moving on...' I tried again.

' Miss, ten years passed after that day , but it still seems like it happened yesterday... I'm afraid that even after eternity I wouldn't be able to forgive myself...' I let out a heavy breath.

' Alright... I should move, but I won't give up on you....' I said like every other time.

' Until the next time miss..'

Why are humans so stubborn... No matter what he did there, he still deserves a meal and a bed because it was his job... he didn't do it for pleasure... If only he knew of other origins and some of their habits, not duties, he wouldn't feel so bad.

****

' Sam, were you again speaking with that beggar?' Ava asked when I entered the apartment.

' Ava he's not a beggar , just a human being that can't forgive himself for what he was made to do..' I said letting out a breath.

' Why Sam? Why do you feel so much for his situation.. Did you killed someone ?' She questioned.

' No Ava , I didn't , I just feel sorry for him..' I lied.

I understand more than everyone else what that poor guy is going through... But yet I can never tell of it as it would be impossible for anyone to know why I couldn't resist her... How broken I was then, and even now, I still have this skinny and unhealthy look in my wolf form.

' Right girl.. take some coffee if you'd like ,have you already bought the ticket? ' She asked.

'Yes mooom .' She laughed.

' I just care for you Sam ..' She said while I filled my cup and went to the room.

****

My vacation... I planned it three months ago when I moved in with Ava. She said it is a must to have a vacation at least four times a year... It is also a must to be in Paris as it is a capital of love, which I need so much according to her...

I highly disagree with that, but they have reasonable prices on hotels, attractions, and tours, so I thought, why not try it out... My flight is in four days, meaning that the session I have in two days will be the last one for two weeks. I'll miss my girls... But as well I need to rest.

****

* Unknown POV*

' Man.. take few extra days and rest , it's a great opportunity...' Mat commented after noticing my destination for another business trip.

' Why should I , It's just a business trip...' I said letting out a breath while signing the rest of the papers required.

' Capital of love... Isn't that all that should be said, huh?' he said laughing.

' Mat , that's not what's in my mind , I just have too many duties to think of banging someone...'

' Dude.. just use a chance and take one of those lovely frenchies... ' he said and left my office chuckling.

Horny idiot...

I don't want any french girl... I want her...

But she doesn't...

Ever since I lost my parents, I felt this emptiness in my heart, but the moment I saw her, it felt like that emptiness was filled... Only being in my dreams, she made me feel happy... I can't imagine the feeling of having her close...

But the thing is, I don't think she wants me. I mean, I'm self-conscious enough to know that I don't look so bad, or even my character. It's decent, well yeah.. we all have our good and bad moments, but it's not that I'm the worst man on earth or something. It just hurts a bit to see her like that, such a beauty, but she seems afraid of feelings.

' Don't be such a p***y , she'll love us...' Finally, Keith spoke after a day or two of silence.

' I'm sorry Keith... but you weren't here when I went through worst moment in my life and now being almost certain that literally a girl of my dreams is afraid of me.. I .. I just don't know if it's worth to even look for her...'

' You must, she's our mate... how would we live without a mate?!' he roared on me.

' I don't know, the same way we did till now..'

' All work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy...' he said sarcastically.

' Don't use stupid phrases on me Keith.. I'm alone in this , you understand? I can't spare any time to have fun or whatever you meant by that...' I spit out pissed because he made it look like I do this s**t on purpose... I have my duties as an alpha to a huge pack which I grew myself, and I must perform, or else everything will be done for nothing...

' I'm sorry alpha .' he said quietly and disappeared.

Good, at least he knows when to shut up.

***