My Alpha Biker Mate

CHAPTER 45

CHAPTER 45

NOVA'S POV

The tears burn down my cheeks, and I can't do anything to control the power that is surging out of me.

I beg. I cry. I breathe.

And when I see Cassian being thrown to the wall like he is nothing, I can't deny the fact that it breaks something in me. Something that I don't even believe could happen happens right in front of me, and I don't even know what I am supposed to think of it.

Cassian is the strongest one in the pack. And now, I am just flinging him around like he is nothing?

No, scratch that.

Whatever is in me is flinging him around like he is nothing.

None of this is right. I am not even about to accept it as normal. It is not going to be normal. Not now, not ever.

And now that he calls my name in a whisper, I can tell that something has changed. He isn't looking at me like I am normal.

That fragility that he usually looks at me with is no longer there.

“Stop,” I whisper, and everything comes to a stop at once.

The rumbling ceilings, the cracking walls, the hum of power underneath my skin. It all stops on command, and I feel my knees give way as I land on the ground.

I look around the room. At the damage that has been done.

Cassian stands in place, and I can see the hurt on his skin. The blood that is flowing down the side of his head. At the same time, I can tell that his body is already working overtime to fix whatever is happening.

He blinks again, like he is trying to make sure that I am back to being normal. I can barely keep my eyes open at that point. I can feel sweat dripping down my back.

I didn't mean to do any of that.

Cassian's eyes are still on me, and he finally walks towards me. There is no hesitation in his steps, and that makes me feel slightly better than I am supposed to.

Whatever is in me doesn't want him touching me. But why?

Cassian is my mate. And I am supposed to feel drawn to him every single time. But this time, it isn't working.

I can feel him again, and it feels like fresh air.

I back away as soon as he takes a step towards me. “I didn't—” I whisper, shaking my head.

He is still walking towards me. But at the same time, I can feel the bond shift. He tries as much as he can not to show it, but I can feel that he is wary.

There is fear as he looks at me.

He is kneeling right in front of me by the time I open my eyes again.

“You don't have to bother about anything.”

I want to cry, but a sad laugh escapes my lips instead. This is what my life is now. I have to accept it with everything in me.

“You don't know what I am,” I say, and he swallows so hard that I hear it. I watch as his jaw tightens.

He tips my chin, making me look at him.

It feels like both of us are broken. Kneeling there in the debris. Kneeling there in all the ruins, and we are starting to look and feel like it.

“I'm starting to know,” he whispers. And I feel my heart crack into a thousand pieces.

“Where is Nate?” I ask, and he looks at me, his eyes slightly wide. I am trying to think of anything that isn't going to make me feel like a miserable person.

I need it like my life depends on it.

“He went on a little stroll with Jason,” he says, and I calm down slightly. I need to know that he isn't home when I am displaying things.

“Okay,” I breathe.

I look around the room one more time, at the cracked walls.

“I'm so sorry,” I whisper, and Cassian shakes his head.

He carries me in bridal style, then makes me sit on the bed. He wipes my face.

“You don't have to apologize. The pack members will get it cleaned up, and we'll just go back to your old room.”

My throat is already closing up, and he takes my hand, carrying me again, leading me to my old room.

As he pushes the door open, I can't help but inhale. It reminds me of those first days. It is almost like we have come a long way. A part of me likes it. The fact that I can look back at things and feel slightly good.

“Do you want me to run a bath for you?” he asks, and I manage to flutter my lashes, looking up at him.

“No,” I whisper. My eyes are already heavy, and it feels like if I blink too much, they are going to fall shut completely.

“Are you sure?” Cassian asks, bringing his hand to my forehead to check my temperature. “Do you want me to get you food then?”

I shake my head again. “I'll rather have food when I wake up.”

He gives me a small nod, then leans down. “You're perfect, Nova. You don't have to bother about anything.”

I give him a small nod. I want to believe him so badly. “I know,” I whisper, trying to assure myself as well. “I'll be downstairs within a few hours.”

He nods. “I'll keep checking up on you. Just be good.” I nod, plopping down on the bed.

I watch Cassian as he heads out of the room. He suddenly stops and turns around.

“I love you, Nova,” he says, and I can barely hold back the smile on my lips. I can tell that he means it.

“I love you too,” I whisper, and he gives me a smile before shutting the door. As soon as he does, it feels like the world goes silent for a moment.

I can barely move, but I am breathing. A part of me is happy, and the other part doesn't even know what I am supposed to expect.

Nate is there. In anything I do, I have to consider him. And consider Cassian as well.

It is funny to even think that asking me to stay away from his brother is the reason for all this.

Maybe I shouldn't have argued.

I feel another drop of tears slip from my eyes, landing on the pillow. I pull the pillow closer to myself, feeling a sudden sense of calm.

I feel someone pat my head, and I don't even bother to get up and check who it is. I know that nobody is there, but it feels too comforting to question it.

Before I know it, I feel myself being pulled underneath the covers, and I have a small smile on my face as I fall asleep.

Everything is going to be fine. Everything has to be fine.

Even if every voice in my head is telling me that this is just the beginning. And it is going to get even worse.