"Confusing Love: A Gripping Tale of Survival and Redemption"

I was back in Kansas City, definitely not my first time. By now, I had worked all over the city and was well-known in the industry and the game. I had switched from a coke habit to meth, ice, or crystal, whatever you want to call it. I had been with a major dealer for a while, known from California to Springfield, Missouri, to Chicago, and who knows where else. He was my latest child's father. Yes, child number three, a son. However, his dad was with another woman who also had a son around the same time. Now his dad was back in prison. I stupidly started talking to him again recently and forgave all the past mistakes, because I loved him. He wasn't all bad, never once hit me or took my money. He hated that I was an escort., but I had to, or so I thought. That's why I was back in the city. After months of being away from the hustle, my mom now has my kids. I was eager to get the money, but I also needed drugs and help to get them. So, I had to find someone with drugs, and I had been gone for months. But I knew where to go and whom to find. South KCMO is not all that bad, but there are some very rough areas, and that's exactly where I went. I parked my 2001 Jaguar S-Type (a trick I bought for me a year ago) in the dirty old, nasty Capital Inn parking lot. I needed to find my girl. I was sure she was still here, but I had no idea what room or exactly where. Most people around here knew me, so I would find her. I parked my car and looked around, taking a breath. I saw a trick in a car, a girl allowing him in the side door (nothing changes). The police pulled through the parking lot, giving me and my car a long glare. I hurried inside, with no reason to talk to them if I could avoid it. I went to the same side door the girl was opening; yeah, it's never locked. Immediately, I was met with the sound of children crying, women laughing, men arguing, and doors slamming.) The smell of smoke is heavy in the air, not even halfway down the first-floor hall. I hear, "Nikki MTF MONROE! Where have you been hiding, girl?" (I freeze) (I don't know who this is, but I probably should, and he obviously knows who I am). I respond, "Oh, I have a son, so I've been home being a mommy, you know how it is." He asks, "What, you had another one? How many does that make now?" Annoyed, I say, "Three now, just three, and I'm done. His daddy's in jail, so I'm back, trying to get it." He replies, "Oh man, girl, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad you're back….. You got any s***?" I reply, "No, actually, I'm here looking for Felicia. Have you seen her?" He says, "Girl, it's me, Brian. That's why I asked if you had anything. Come on, I'll take you to her room." I tried to remember and draw a total blank, but I played along, "Oh yeah, hey, Brian, I forgot. You look different, maybe it's the dread." (I still have absolutely no clue who he is). Brian is a very thin, tall black man, probably in his 30s, wearing raggedy clothes and dirty shoes. He looks like a skeleton. His hair is dreaded, about 4 inches long, and he tucks it under a beanie even in 100° weather. Brian says, "You silly babe, come on." We walk past 10 doors and go upstairs, where we meet two more black men who are younger and dressed well. They seem to know me as well. I smile and say hi as we keep walking. Brian stops at door 221 and knocks lightly. I hear Felicia from inside, shouting, "Who the f*** is knocking at my mother f****** door!" Brian cautiously moves away, just allowing me to be outside when somebody inside looks out. It's silent, and then the door swings open, hitting me with a ton of smoke - weed smoke, heroin smoke, crack smoke, meth smoke - it just rushes out of the room. Felicia exclaims, "Oh my god b****, it's been so long." Brian now pops his head into view. "What the f*****? I told you to get on somewhere," she says to Brian. He responds, "He actually was the one showing me where you were." Felicia sighs, "Ugh, fine, come on in." She looks at me and asks, "Do you have a room here?” Me: "No, I thought about getting one over at Baymont, but I need someone to put it in their name." Felicia: "I have someone for you. Google Fiber, that's his nickname. He has a good, clean name. He'll do it for you." Me: "Sweet. So, do you have any Go-Go?" Felicia: "Yeah, come on, sit down and stay awhile." I kid you not. Finally, I walked into the room, and there, lying on the bed, were every type of narcotic you could ever ask for. I was offered a piece of tin foil, but I declined, saying I'm good. Then, I hit a total black meth pipe and said I'm good on that too. I was steadily glared at by two cracked out chicks in the corner, whispering. The man with the tin foil must be with them. Felicia must have sensed my irritation with the number of people in the room and said, "Come on," and pulled me into the nasty little bathroom. She handed me her huge pink bong, which had meth instead of weed. I said, "Oh, cool, okay." I hit it and sat down on the toilet. "Oh my God, woman, that's amazing!" I exclaimed. "I know, it's some good s**t, right? How much do you want?" Felicia asked. "I only have a few bucks. I was hoping you would smoke with me and let me have a little until I get a call under my belt. Then I'll be able to grab a teen or a ball or something, you know, like normal," I replied. Felicia said, "b***h, you know you're good here," and handed me a gram bag of all shards. "I got you as soon as I got my first call. You know it's yours," I assured her. "I know you're good for it. Hit this s**t again, girl," she said, passing me the bong. "Okay, don't tell me twice. I'll do it." I hit the bong, and I'm already high as hell. I'm ready to get away from all these people in this room. Felicia yells at Google Fiber, who is more than willing to get the room for me. Felicia , Google Fiber, and I go to get my room down the street at the Baymont. It wasn't a bad hotel, but not a great one. The Capital Inn is much worse. Now I'm not far from them, and it allows me to have space but be close. Once Google Fiber secured a room for me at the Baymont, we went through a side door and up to the second floor to the room. Apparently the room was recently remodeled and had big fluffy pillows and a soft mattresses. I was ready to shower and get to work, but Felicia had came with me, it was nice to have a friend and someone to watch my back, but I needed to get to the money. I asked her to chill and smoke or break down some hot rails for us why I took a shower and got ready. She nodded her head and smiled.