III
1141 Words
“Sir Tobias, we’re stopping at a coffee shop, okay? Your Mom asked me to buy her a cup of coffee. Do you want some cookies as well?”
Nanny said when she fetched me after school.
“I would love to, thank you.”
She just nodded at me.
“Do you want to come with me?”
I nodded. We got out of the car together. She held my hand as we entered the coffee shop.
“I’ll just sit on one of the available chairs while you order, Nanny Mel.”
“Okay, but careful.”
I left her at the counter and looked for a good spot to sit. I squinted my eyes when I saw a familiar figure. I rub my eyes to make sure I’m really seeing my Aunt sitting in front of a man. So her date is here? I smiled excitedly. I sat near them. I had my back on her back.
“My Mom didn’t know, but I used to be married.”
My eyes widened as I heard my Aunt’s statement. I slightly twisted my body, so I could see her. She’s showing her hand to her date. There are two rings on her ring finger that look like engagement and wedding rings. If I remember correctly, she was not wearing a ring yesterday when she arrived home.
“May I know what happened to your husband?”
The man curiously asked.
“Him? He’s dead. I stabbed him 50 times after he annoyed me one time.”
Her date and I both widened our eyes.
“What? You’re joking, right?”
The man asked, laughing awkwardly.
“Of course! But I don’t know if someone found his body after I dumped it in a river.”
A creepy smile is seen on Aunt Alicia’s face. It’s like she’s thinking about the day she killed her ‘husband’.
“Oops, did I say the last part out loud? Just pretend you didn’t hear it. It’s just between you and me, and, of course, my late husband.”
Her date didn’t say a word. He nervously sipped on his coffee. I saw his hand slightly shaking. Didn’t Grandma say this morning that Aunt Alicia never once dated? Huh?
“What’s your name again? Jason?”
“Y-yes.”
The poor man stuttered.
“Come on, dude. I’m joking. He’s alive and well.”
He breathed a sigh of relief loudly.
“You got me there.”
He laughed awkwardly again.
“But you know, I’m looking for my first victim. I always dreamed of stabbing someone until their last breath. I want to know how many stabs can a person endure until they die?”
She then sipped her coffee elegantly. I take back what I said yesterday. Mom’s wrong. Her sister is not just unusual or weird, she’s crazy.
“I remember that I still have an important meeting to attend. I’m sorry, but I need to go.”
He hurriedly went out. He almost bumped into the door. I heard my Aunt’s wicked laugh as she looked at the man she scared.
“Like my little show, little man?”
She looked at me with a proud smile.
“You know I’m here?”
I moved to where the man used to sit.
“Yeah, I saw you in my peripheral vision when you walked towards us. You’re not afraid of me after hearing what I just said?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“First, I heard Grandma say this morning that you have never dated before, so how much more a husband? Second, your wicked laugh only confirms my suspicion that you only made up stories to chase your date away.”
She clapped dramatically.
“Nice deduction. So what can you say overall?”
“That my aunt is crazy?”
She closed her eyes, shook her head in slow motion while smiling. She inhaled, like she was breathing good fortune.
“That’s a nice compliment, Tobias.”
I shook my head. Only crazy people love it when they're called one.
“Aren’t you afraid that Grandma will learn what you just did?”
“She wouldn’t know.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“Because I’m an adult.”
“What does adulting have to do with this?”
“Everything, Tobias.”
Huh?
“Can you explain it, Aunt Alicia? I don’t really know what you mean.”
“Listen carefully. I don’t like repeating myself. Even if you're my nephew, I would still smack you on the head if you’d make me.”
“I promise.”
She cleared her throat as if she was going to give a speech to a big crowd.
“That man won’t tell his Mom what just happened. Why? Well, if he did, then his Mom would ask my Mom if it was true and, of course, my Mom would deny it because it’s really not true. Then he would know that I only made it up. What would that make him feel? That a woman told him something absurd to ruin their date. Is he that unlikeable? It would only make him feel worse. Men don’t like women stepping on their pride. And that, young Tobias, is chauvinism. So, even if he had a doubt that I was lying, he would just swallow it because it’s not worth it unless he fell for me at first sight, which is not impossible given my qualities.”
Everything she said made sense to me except for the last part. Her qualities? I’d rather not say anything, or I might end up her first murder victim. I only just lived the first six years of my life. I want to live longer.
“And if he really tattles me out, then he’s not even a man. What is he, a child? Only a child would tell their parents that they are being bullied. Plus, Mom only said to meet the man she set me up with and I did. She shouldn’t complain because I did my end of the bargain.”
“It’s really no use arguing with you. Poor Grandma, she didn’t know how rotten her youngest daughter was.”
“Careful, dude. You might end up wanting to be like me. Don’t worry, I won’t blame you if ever. Who wouldn’t want to be like me? I’m beautiful and smart.”
“You’re dreaming, Aunt Alicia.”
“Heh! You’re just like your mom, always ready to burst my bubble. Let’s just go. Your Nanny is done ordering already. I’m going home with you. I took a cab on my way here.”
She hopped on our way to the car. She’s like a child sometimes, but most of the time? She’s crazy beyond repair.
- Writer
