The Beach Retreat

FFS

Three days go by and no sign of the goddess in board shorts. I even did half of my run on the beach yesterday. My calves are screaming at me because of it today, but all in the name of Charlie. Ricki and I finish up our run and I take him back to the calmer area by our house. I put his little pup vest on him, and we go for a swim. The cool salt water is the best remedy to any problem. That’s been my philosophy since I can remember.

“Hey, cute vest there, bud!” A familiar voice forces me to bite the inside of my cheek as I turned around.

“What are you doing over here ‘round these parts?” I practically scream-stutter. I can’t understand how I ever find dates being such a goober. They must all just think I’m a jokester. I’m not, I’m just a ball of anxiety, and it makes every female I encounter look confident compared to me. That’s my superpower. Awkwardness.

Charlie smirks and scrunches her nose. She’s aware of my failing attempt at casual and softly chuckles. “I was just looking for a quieter area to swim. It’s that time of year when you bennies like to take over my beach.”

“Yeah, us bennies are terrible people.”

Charlie nods, “Totally.”

“Mm-hmm. So bad, I would hate it if your local friends saw you associating with such folk. Could ruin your rep, possibly even be a bit dangerous for you.”

“Yeah. Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private. Just in case these locals catch us together. You know, for safety reasons,” Charlie tilts her head and quirks a brow while drawing lines in the sand with her right foot.

If this isn’t flirting, I don’t know what the hell is. “Well, my house is just right…” I accidentally hook my thumb in my necklace trying to point to the house behind me. Charlie laughs and helps me pick up the broken conch shell necklace out of the sand.

“You know, for someone that seems so athletic, you are pretty klutzy, huh?” she asks.

“Yes, but I’m pretty damn good at it. Why don’t we just go for a swim, and Ricki can lead the way? He loves it out here. Once he’s spent, we can go inside for some water and dry off for a bit.”

“Alright. Sounds good.”

“Oh my goodness! Ricki, please stop running through the house and get over here!” I throw the towel on the puddle he created on the kitchen tiles as I watch him do zoomies throughout the house. He just loves running around while his sandy, soaked fur touches every surface of the house. I just hope Jay doesn’t decide to show up tonight. This cleanup tends to take a while and Charlie is here. I am not wasting her visit on Ricki recon.

Charlie kneels down, “Come here, my love.” She pats her thigh and fake kisses to Ricki. He runs straight to her.

“You are so amazing,” I shake my head, staring at the beauty in awe.

She smiles, knowing I still haven’t realized what I just said to her. I give her wide eyes. “… with Ricki. You’re amazing with Ricki. He doesn’t behave with anyone. The Ricki whisperer.” She gets to her feet, continues giving affection to the loving pup I call my son, full belly laugh and twinkle in her eyes.

“Has anyone ever told you how adorable you are without even trying?”

“You have an affect on me as well. If I was covered in salt water, sand, and doing zoomies, I would stop to lick your face too.” What the hell did I just say to her?

“I kinda got that feeling. You know,” she walks closer to me, “I think I might do the same with you too. Except I’m not sure it’s your face I’d want to lick.”

Holy s**t. She did not just say that. “Oh really? Where were you thinking?” I am ridiculously bad at this.

“Well, kiss me and maybe you’ll find out soon enough,” she rubs my waist, steps close enough I feel her hips touching mine. My heart is beating out of my chest. The smell ocean water is mixed with the smell of sunscreen on her olive skin. The heat of her breath is teasing my cheek, the coolness of her skin is teasing my body. My ears are burning from excitement. I inhale, slowly exhale, tilt my head, place my hand on her back, keep my other hand in a fist on the side of my body, and graze her lips.

I know this is cliché, but I have never connected on a level with a woman like I’ve done with Charlie. Especially with just one kiss. I draw her closer, I open my lips more, we both moan at the same time. My eyes closed at one point. I can’t remember when. My hand lowers from her mid back to her lower, the other hand relaxes and joins.

Charlie breaks the kiss, opens her eyes and looks at me with a shy smile. She clears her throat. We are still holding each other, but parted a bit. “Um, I think I should go, but I’d like to see you again. Are you free tonight?”

My mind is blank. I can’t stop staring at her. “Brandi?”

“Oh, umm, yeah. I’m free. I’m sorry. I just can’t help thinking how lucky I am.” Yeah, maybe I’m getting better at this flirting thing.

She laughs and pulls out of our embrace. “Lucky?”

“Yeah. I met you. Very, very lucky.” We don’t exchange numbers. I explain I stay off the grid here, but don’t explain why. We plan the time and place, she heads for the door.

“I’ll see you tonight.” We kiss one last time by the door. Thank goodness I planned on showering because I definitely need it after her visit.

I meet Charlie at a familiar looking bar. I think I’ve been here before. Either with Jay, with Maggie, or with both of them. I can’t exactly remember. I do have to be sure I don’t mention this to her, I don’t want to bring up my ex. I know very little etiquette when it comes to first dates, but I definitely know that bringing up exes is the pathway to singledom. Especially with all the drama surrounding my life because of Maggie lately. I need to keep my wits about me tonight. Charlie seems special. I saw my future in that kiss. Could that be possible? In the past I saw bedrooms, I’ve had plenty of dirty thoughts in one kiss. I have never imagined a future. This is most likely why I am acting even more gooberish than my usual knucklehead self. I’m even making up words like ‘gooberish’ to myself. Maybe I’ll use it in our wedding vows. ‘You turned me into a gooberish mess, I couldn’t even think straight the day I met you. I knew you were my future.’

This is bad. I’m talking myself into more goober behavior. Okay, that word is banned for the rest of the summer. I need to calm myself before I panic. “Hey, I saw you from the entrance. What are you drin…” as I point to her glass, I spill her drink on her lap. Perfect. I quickly grab a few napkins from the table, crouch to her lap, and start drying her crotch without thinking.

“I got it. I got it, Brandi,” she’s insisting. I look up at her, she’s blushing. I look back at my hands. They’re still on her crotch. I stand up and put my hands in the air as if I’m being held at gunpoint.

“I am so sorry. This is so not how I imagined our date.” I hang my head. Do I run? Do I order her another drink? She’s standing at the table, I’m not sure if she wants to leave. She looks like she peed herself, thanks to me. I want her to take the lead but my mouth won’t stop talking despite my brain telling it to shut the hell up. “I can get you more napkins. Let me order you another drink. Do you want to go? We can leave and you can change. What are you thinking right now?”

“Brandi, relax. It was an accident. I like you or we wouldn’t be here, okay? Give me a moment. I’m going to the ladies’ room.” She puts her hand on my shoulder and guides me to my seat. I sit and she turns to go to the bathrooms.

Either we have a funny story to tell our grandchildren or I just ruined my fantasy future family. I lower my head on the table and take a deep breath. Partly to relax, partly to pout before she comes back. “Excuse me. Excuse me,” a woman taps me on the shoulder. I lift my head and look to my right.

“Are you Brandi?” the vaguely familiar looking woman says.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” I don’t want to say yes considering the bottle incident last week.

“I’m Maggie’s cousin. Yeah. We hung out a few times. I saw her video online. What the hell do you think you’re doing? She’s not gone a week,” the woman seems a bit more confident and aggressive now.

“We’ve been broken up for years now. She spat lies and put me through hell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m busy at the moment. Please be so kind and leave me be.”

“Oh, like you were so kind to her? Yeah, I’ll be so kind,” the woman slaps me in the face and strides away. I look up and see Charlie staring from a few feet away. She watches the woman storm off. Charlie comes back to the table and asks what the scene was about.

“I’d rather not discuss it, but do you mind if we get out of here? Maybe just take a walk on the beach?” I suggest. This is the worst date in history. It’s been nothing but a shitstorm and I can’t see how it could improve.

“I think maybe we can meet up again another time. This isn’t exactly the best first date I’ve been on. Quite frankly my pants aren’t getting any drier and your cheek is bright pink. You might need to ice it.”

Disappointed, I reluctantly agree. How do I explain to her why I don’t have my cell phone on? How do I explain the slap? Maybe going home and sleeping on this will give me some perspective. We could both use a reset and hopefully, I will just see her on the beach again later this week.