Pain He Gave
1028 Words
Ömrüm
Pain. Not the kind that fades. Not the kind that can be endured. This… This was something else. It tore through me like I was being split open from the inside. I collapsed the moment it hit.
My knees slammed into the ground, but I barely felt it. My body folded in on itself, hands clutching my chest as if I could hold my heart together as if I could stop whatever was happening.
“Ah—!”
A broken sound escaped my throat, raw and unfiltered. Is it the bond? It was breaking. It had to be. That was what rejection did. That was what it was ‘supposed’ to feel like. Pain. Loss. Separation. But this…This wasn’t separation.
This felt like something was being ‘ripped apart’… and then forced back together in a shape it was never meant to take.
I gasped, my fingers digging into my skin as the pain spiked violently.
“No… no, this isn’t—”
This wasn’t normal. It wasn’t fading. It wasn’t loosening. It was twisting so hard.
A sharp, suffocating pressure coiled around my chest, tightening with every breath. My heartbeat stuttered, then raced, then slowed in an unnatural rhythm.
Like something else was syncing with it. Something that wasn’t mine. The ground beneath me blurred and voices echoed distantly, shouting, panicked—but I couldn’t focus on them. Because something else was louder, closer and Inside.
‘There you are…’
My breath hitched. The voice. Not loud. Not clear. But there. It's speaking again. What is happening?
“Moon Goddess, no… no please.”
“No…” I whispered, shaking my head weakly. “No, go away—”
‘Why would I?‘
It wasn’t mocking. It wasn’t angry and sounded curious too. As if amused. Like it had been waiting. Like it had always been there.
My nails scraped against the dirt as I tried to push myself up—but my body refused to cooperate. Every muscle locked, then trembled violently.
The pain surged again and something inside me pushed back hard. My back arched, a strangled cry ripping from my throat as heat flooded my veins.
It burned. Not like fire. Like something alive. Something waking up.
“Make it stop…” I gasped, barely able to form the words.
‘Why would you want that?‘
The voice again. Closer now, even clearer.
‘This is what you are.’
My vision flickered.
Darkness crept at the edges, swallowing everything slowly, like shadows stretching toward me.
“No… I’m not…” I choked.
I wasn’t this.
I wasn’t whatever this was becoming.
I wasn’t—
‘Lying to yourself won’t help.‘
The words slid through my mind, smooth and cold.
‘You felt it, didn’t you? When he rejected you.‘
My breath caught. Goodness, it knows everything.
‘That moment… when something inside you didn’t break.‘
Didn’t break. Didn’t—
A sharp pulse shot through my chest, and I screamed. Because it was true. It hadn’t broken. Instead It had changed.
‘You were never meant to be like them.’
My fingers curled into fists, my body trembling violently as something surged beneath my skin.
Not my wolf. No. This felt different, so bigger and wrong.
My spine tingled, heat crawling upward, spreading across my shoulders like something trying to tear its way out.
I sucked in a sharp breath and for a split second, I felt it. The shift.
But it didn’t feel like my wolf. There was no familiar pull. No instinct guiding it. No control. Just chaos.
My bones didn’t respond the way they should. My muscles locked instead of flowing. Something began cracking so wrong and too sharply. Too forced.
“Stop—!” I choked out, panic finally breaking through.
This wasn’t right.
This wasn’t how shifting worked.
It felt like my body was being forced into something it didn’t recognize, something unnatural.
‘You’re resisting,’ the voice murmured, almost disappointed.
‘That’s why it hurts.‘
“I don’t want this!” I snapped weakly, my voice shaking.
‘You don’t have a choice.‘
The words settled like ice in my veins. Because deep down I knew. This wasn’t something I could stop. Then another wave hit.
Even stronger and darker. My vision went black for a split second—And when it returned— Everything felt… sharper.
Too sharp I could hear everything. The wind. The guards whispering behind me. Their heartbeats—fast, uneven.
Afraid. The scent of fear hit me next. Rich, Thick and Overwhelming. They are afraid of me. And something inside me—liked it.
I froze. Horror creeping in slowly.
“No…” I whispered, my voice barely audible.
Not this. Not me. My breathing slowed. Too slow. Too controlled.The pain didn’t disappear but It changed and settled into something deeper.
Something even I don't know what to call it. Then I heard it again.
‘Better,’ the voice hummed softly.
‘Now you’re starting to understand.‘
“I don’t want to understand,” I muttered, pushing myself up on shaking arms.
My body felt heavier, stronger and wrong. Everything felt wrong. The guards hadn’t moved closer. If anything, they had stepped back. Far back.
“What’s happening to her…?” one of them whispered.
“I—I don’t know…”
Their fear was clear now. Undeniable.
And it sent a strange, unsettling calm through me. I stood slowly. Too slowly. Like I was learning how to move again. The world felt… different. More Quieter and strangely different to me.
My head tilted slightly as I glanced at the ground. And that’s when I saw it. My shadow. It stretched behind me, long against the dirt just as it should.
Except…It moved. And a sharp inhale caught in my throat. Because I wasn’t moving. But it was. A slow ripple. Like something shifting beneath the surface.
Like it was alive.
My heart stuttered.
“No…”
The word barely left my lips. The shadow twisted again, and again, subtle and so unnatural and for one horrifying second it didn’t match my shape.
- Writer
