The moment I shut Ivan’s bedroom door behind me, I allowed myself to relax just enough to sniffle the tears that had been working hard against my will to fall from my eyes. I felt like my heart had been punctured over and over again. I was angry and scared at the same time, angry because I felt powerless whenever I was with Ivan. I was angry that I couldn't protect Ivan from the things that troubled him and drove him to the state I found him in. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to have the kind of life I wanted especially with Ivan. The sight of him on the bathroom floor had almost driven me to my knees. The minutes it had taken Jade to pick the lock had felt like years, my mind had been conjuring all the bad things that could have happened to Ivan when he did not pick up his phone. I
