Of All the Chances I'd Take

It's funny how you can give everything in a heartbeat for someone you love. I'm having this thought while walking inside a five-star restaurant surrounded by people wearing gowns and suits as if they attended some sort of party only upper class people can relate to. There stare lingers on me while I walked past every table. As if they've already known that I don't belong in their group. Who would've really thought that I belong when I'm dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a white off shoulder tank top and wearing an outworn white converse shoes. Instead of feeling down about my clothes, I just focused on walking to the farthest table where a man in his late twenties is currently sitting and staring intently at me. My lips broke to a smile when I met his eyes. The most soulful eyes of all. I would really trade everything I have in this world just to be stared at by that man. Not only are his eyes perfect, everything about him is. From his disheveled hair that suits his squared jaw. Eyebrows thick and sculpted perfectly just above his eyes. Nose that perfectly fits on the middle of his face and his thin bow-shaped lips slightly breaking a smile. "Did you wait for too long? I asked as soon as I arrived at his table. I crouched a little to kiss his lips. A sign for greeting him. God! I can already feel my skin tingling just by the mere touch of his lips on mine. I think I might want to reconsider my options because how can I possibly leave someone as perfect as him. "You're a slut!" I chastised myself. I only have one choice or everything will crumble to dust. "Not really," he murmured against our lips. Even though I'm not looking around I can picture their jaws dropping on the floor. Their unheard judgments are also ringing in my ear. But, the man in front of me doesn't mind the people. Ah! An ideal man, I must say. I took the opposite chair for the first time since we're together which earned a frown on his face. "For a change" I said before he could utter a word and forced a smile on my lips. I felt at ease because he didn't make a big deal out of it. "Happy Anniversary, Babe!" He crouched again and gave me a peck on the lips. "I was worried because I haven't been able to contact you since morning. Fortunately, you messaged me just before I lost my mind." He said concern was evident in his words. "I-uhm. I-I want to tell you something". I said stuttering. Gosh! It's really this hard when you're against saying something but don't have a choice. What happened a while ago is already a sign to just give this up. It's okay for me to suffer silently than drag others to my misery. While looking at him just across the table, memories of everything we've shared together flashed on my mind. A tear began to swell on the corners of my eyes. I've already reached the last page of our story where I need to end everything even though I know to myself that our story is still starting and we still have a lot to experience together. "Damon, I can't do this anymore". I said, still proud of myself that I didn't stutter. It's good that I can still focus on my goal rather than breaking down. "Can that wait? Are you not hungry? What is happening, babe? And why are your eyes puffy?" He fired his questions like he's one of the panelists in thesis defense and didn't want the presenter, which happened to be me, to have time to process the questions to come out with justifiable answers. Even if he's clueless about what happened to me today, he still is concerned if I've already eaten. I already am having a hard time to pacify my emotions and before I could really succumb to it, I push myself to speak. "You're smart, I know that you get what I mean" His fists that are placed on the table turned hard. I'm afraid that this might be the first time that he'll hurt me. "What did I do anyway? Is this about yesterday with Margareth? You know that I'm just being friendly because our family's are business partners." How I wish Margareth was the problem or he cheated on me, it will be easy for me to give up. I inhaled a sum of air because it feels like my heart's slowly constricting inside. I might develop a heart attack because of this. Another problem to add in my list. I look at his eyes for the last time, I want to look at it while it still mirrors admiration and love-- just for me because I might not see it again, ever. "I don't love you anymore, Damon". The love and admiration slowly turned to pain and sorrow. I couldn't even say it while looking at his eyes because he might see the pain I've been hiding. I can already see the peace that I see is claiming up to myself to stop me from talking but I must continue. I need to continue, for our peace of mind. "I don't really love you in the first place". I smiled bitterly. I can be nominated for Oscars for being a good actress. "I just used your wealth to experience the luxury of life, which I really enjoyed for the past months we're together". I continued, and if looks could kill I'll be dead by now. "Now, you're branding yourself a gold-digger? Is that how low you want to be?" He fired back. Before I could even say a word, he continued "I think highly of you, Victoria. You're not just some dust on my sleeves. And if you love my money more than I? I can still bargain. Damn! I can even give you my trust funds, just so you won't leave me". He said his family's wealth is just some toys ready for his disposal. Right at this moment, I realized how really wide the gap is between us. That no matter how kind and hardworking I am, I will still not reach even his lowest level. "Are you that dumb, Damon? I only used you for money. Your money is all I want, and now that I have already reached my goals , I don't need you anymore". I spat angrily. As I stayed here longer, breathing became really hard for me. I wish he can give up easily so that it can be easy for me too. He laughed dryly at me as if he's getting insane. Tears are already also flowing down his cheeks. " I don't think that my money is the problem here, Tori. We've been together for a year and with that span of time, money never became our issue. Are you seeing someone else now, that's why you're breaking up with me? It's already easy for you to drop me like a hot potato because you already have a new prospect? Huh!?" He angrily combed his hair using his hand and said: "I don't want to bring this up because I can still accept you wholeheartedly but seeing you like this?" He looked at me with disgust. All I can see now is a different version of Sebastian. His fist is now hard on the table. " I never believed my mom even when she showed me photos of you with that asshole, Javier. Hugging outside the hospital? Eating at a fancy restaurant? What else? f*****g behind my back? I bet you're already expecting a baby from him? " My eyes widened a fraction from what he told me. There are photos of Javier and I? All this time, his mother's busy collecting 'evidence' to make me a bad person but in reality, she's not a saint herself. Seeing him this hurt in front of me, I don't really care about the hurtful words anymore. I just want to hold his hand and run away from everything. My tears won't stop flowing down my face. I didn't even know that I was crying already. I can see in my peripherals that some of the people near our table already stopped what they're doing and watched us curiously. Like we're some movie, worthy of their attention. I straightly look at him, so hurt by everything. "Let's stop this already. Are you not ashamed? We're in a public place for Christ sake!" Hopefully no one knows who we are because this might bring bigger trouble than it actually is. Even with bloodshot eyes, he still looks handsome as ever. "What? Am I the one to blame? You won't even deny my accusations?" Slightly raising his voice, not afraid that all the people here might hear him. "I just want to spend our anniversary, yet here you are breaking up with me and worse, even cheating behind my back. Am I the one who's embarrassing? " The emotion I kept on hiding for the past hours, came like a whirlwind ready to destroy me. I never thought that I could produce a lot of water just by sitting here. A new set of tears came running down my face. "Now you're crying as if I'm the one who's at fault. You know what? I'm done." With that he stood up confidently as if he's not pained from the situation. He took his wallet from the back of his pocket. Not minding anymore, even if I cry my heart out. I dried my tears with a tissue I took from my bag, to clearly see his face. His face is now void of emotions and his jaw is so hard that it may break just from the pressure. Even if I'm a table away, I can feel the dark aura emitting from his body. His eyes now mirror sorrow and distaste while his lips are already in thin line as if it already forgot that "smile" is not just only a word but an action. One last time, he looked at me with sorrowful eyes. "Here's my wallet, you can keep it. Maybe the riches Javier has won't be enough to satisfy you. Maxed the credit cards until there was nothing left. I don't really care anymore." He tossed his wallet on the table and continued, "Just don't come running back to me ever again. Heck, you're nothing but a gold digging b*tch to me now". He stopped and called someone, probably the waiter to usher me outside or worse a police officer will escort me to jail. But, I know that even if I did horrible things to him, he will not resort to hurting me. Before turning his back at me, he uttered one last speech. "Victoria Louisse, we both know that I could give everything to you within a heartbeat but you freaking chose to play with my feelings. I wish you nothing but hell." Without waiting for my reply, he walked out as if nothing happened. I was left here on our table while I silently cried. With trembling hands, I reached for the glass of water on the table. As if my life now depends on it, which it did. I didn't even see the waiter beside me. "M-Ma'am?" With tears still brimming in my eyes, I still managed to look at the waiter holding a round chocolate cake topped with strawberries. "Happy Anniversary, babe!" was written on the cake. I couldn't help but sobbed. I couldn't take the pain anymore. "I was tasked to give it to you, Ma'am. It's already been paid". He put it on the table and offered a sad smile as if mirroring mine, and left me. I stared at it for a while. Wishing that I could bring back the time and instead of crying alone Damon is here with me celebrating this moment. But I know for a fact that this ain't a fantasy. My prince already left me all alone. Slowly, I grabbed the fork and took a small slice of cake. I'm not hungry, but I don't want to neglect the only thing that is left of me from him. I put it in my mouth, savoring its sweetness. As if it could change the bitterness I was feeling. A new set of tears cascade on my cheeks, as I devour the cake slice by slice. I don't mind the sad look of the people who witnessed what happened. Some might think that I have a thick face because I still have the guts to stay and even eat as if nothing happened. But, I don't care anymore. This is the last thing he gave, so I will not put it to waste. As I took my last bite, I put my hand on my stomach and gently caressed it. A faint smile was plastered on my lips. With a low voice, I uttered; "At least, I have a reminder that I will be forever grateful to him. In the end, my sacrifices are still worth it". With that darkness slowly consumed my being.