The blossoms

6.

How long until people give up on you, most of my life the answer was as soon as they find out your broken. Med would often leave me when I opened up about my past, so why did my husband choose to stay, why did he continue to love the broken girl who cant stand her own self, why does he help me with my eating issues, why is he trying to help me have the family I always dreamed of, why when he knows i'm just a broken bomb, ready to explode when life is getting harder.  Why would he stay with me when I feared men so much, why would he love me when I believed my purpose was just to please and make other happy. Why did he stay with me when I tried calling it quits so many times, why did he always come back.

The love he has to help me get better is the only thing left in this world that will forever keep me pushing for our goals, the was he can help me calm down, and the way he cares for our family will forever be the reason I keep fighting to heal. He has helped me overcome the fear of talking about my experience, and had given me the courage to no longer hide the person I am. He doesn't judge when my inner child that had been suppressed for so long, he doesn't judge my obsessions with stuffed animals and weird collectibles, he doesn't judge my constant want for a reborn doll, or how when I go into high stress my body tricks itself into acting pregnant as a coping method.

He cares for me in all these times where I look for comfort in objects, stopped me from becoming an alcoholic, and is helping me to learn that I can love myself. I have been able to build up the bond again with my siblings, the bond that had been destroyed during the time I had no control over my anger. He is slowly helping me to be me, not the person others wanted. Those toxic friendships I had before him, he helped be open my eyes to them. He helped me open my heart and start loving again. Thanks to him I have the start of my own family, I have a stepson who means the world to me.

Although I know me and him do not have the perfect relationship I had always wished for, and yes we tend to argue a lot. We have the care and want for each other to stay out of out dark places, we try and help each other heal from the negative things we endured growing up.  Without him i'm sure I would have been an alcoholic with no life plan, I probably would just lay in my filthy surrounding and be too scared to leave my house, without him I wouldn't have been able to accomplish everything I did today, I wouldn't have someone to still love me when I become wheel chair bound. I wouldn't have my own family, Without him I would still be the scared girl stuck in the tunnel.