My Tale of Two Worlds

Dreamy

I go about lighting a fire straight away as I want to quickly make the house warm and even cozier. I find a perfect selection of small pieces of wood to get the fire promptly roaring, and I start feeding it larger and larger logs until I have reached the steady burn I am going for. This place feels so homely. I open my bags and get out my comfortable homewear, my slippers, my phone, my headphones, and a couple of books.

I peruse the takeaway menus and after some hesitation, I decide I will order some crispy duck pancakes for this evening. I feel like treating myself! I call the restaurant and arrange for a delivery at 7:30pm.

While I wait for my dinner, I put my feet up with a book and soak up the fire's heat. The food arrives and I thoroughly enjoy it. Once I have cleaned up behind me, I decide to follow Bethany's advice and run myself a pampering bubble bath. In the bathroom, there are bath oils, and creams. I run a deep bubble bath and giddily step into it, letting the warmth engulf me. My entire body relaxes. I needed this!

I lay back and think about my outings of the next day, the dogs I will not be visiting this weekend but who I will see very soon, the client I want to stop working with, the work I would rather be doing... I think about life, my future. What is it I want to create? How do I fit in? People generally want similar things: a relationship, kids, a house, a car. These things don't excite me. Maybe I should just live in a cottage in the woods until I grow old and die. Goals, eh? My mind wanders until I eventually let myself slip into a light sleep.

I enter a beautiful room through an open door. It's an old-fashioned bedroom with a four-poster bed, with ornate antique furniture such as a chaise and a desk. The wood is sculpted. It reminds me of a pirate's ship. The desk has several piles of paper placed upon a map. I wonder to myself what the map represents. Nothing I recognise. Bay windows open out onto a balcony, overlooking the sea. Birds are screeching and diving and the window curtains are billowing. A tall man stands with his back to me. He is looking out of the window. His hair is dark, a few inches long, slightly curly. He has broad shoulders and is wearing a black velvet jacket and breeches and boots. From his stance, he oozes confidence and charisma. Although I cannot see his face, I imagine him to be handsome. He has to be handsome. I sigh inwardly. At least I think I do... The man turns on his feet to face me. His eyes! Oh my. I know he is beautiful, yet I cannot describe his face because our eyes lock, and they are all I can see. I see shock, wonder, hope, fear in these dark obsidian pools. The feeling is so intense that I gasp and, just like that, the scene spins away, and I am back in my bath, chest heaving. Despair hits me like a ton of bricks. That was too short, too intense. I want to go back. I feel very disturbed.

You know, there are dreams that don't very much speak to you and others that you know have meaning. This feels like the latter. I need to catch my breath. I step out of the bath which is still very warm. I cannot have been in the bath for long but after this crazy dream, I feel I cannot stay. The fluffy, warm towels await me on the radiator and I wrap myself up in them before heading towards the fireplace. For a while, I just sit and stare at the fire. My usually active mind is empty, there is no inner dialogue. Just the flames and the slightly blurred image of this handsome man as the dream slips further and further through my fingers. I hate that the hazy recollection of his features becomes worse and worse. I so badly want to remember him.

I try to lose myself in a fantasy novel, but my brain is resisting. I end up reading the same page several times over. I do not feel like sleeping in the bedroom tonight, so I bring the duvet through to the sitting room and make it into a toasty cocoon on the settee. I dip in and out of sleep that night.

I dream of the door several times. The familiar door, still hiding its secrets from me. But tonight, it is different. This time, the door is shaking and rattling. It feels like someone is trying to break through.