My Tale of Two Worlds

Dark, dark, dark. Nothingness. A door. I can't open it. Something is calling, but I cannot hear, I cannot reach it. Answers are beyond. Knowing is beyond. I wake up and sit up, heart pounding in my chest, breath laboured. Awareness settles - I am in my bed, in my bedroom, in my small flat. This kind of dream occurs often. It's not really surprising. There is a huge chunk of my life that I am completely unaware of. I was found wandering the streets of a coastal village in Suffolk, UK without the slightest information on me (or in me). My estimated age was 18 and I had no memories at all of my lie before May 1st, the day that I was found. It was decided that then would be my birthday. As good a day as any. It does kind of feel like I was born on that day. I could talk, walk, count, but I didn't know my name, I couldn't drive, I wasn't familiar with any kind of job... I had to learn who I was, or who I am now. I am still learning. I was given 3 months to find my feet while authorities also tried to identify me - to no avail. Then, I was given a name, papers, and the right to fend for myself! Let me tell you, mistakes were made. Many mistakes. I hit the party scene hard. Alcohol and drugs helped me numb the pain of being nobody and skillfully avoid the void within. Never mind, the void sat patiently, waiting for me to work out that this lifestyle was meaningless, and I was only delaying the inevitable: sitting with it. I have settled down now. I prioritise my well-being. Simply appearing at the age of 18 is f!cked up and a lot to process. I'm working on it. I'm 24 now. I work online as an administrative assistant. I enjoy working from home. It must be said, I'm somewhat of a hermit. It's true, I don't have heaps of social interaction. I swear, people think I must be so sad, but I'm okay. I'm quite content. During the week, I work, I read, I cook, I decorate my flat and, at weekends, I visit cool places and volunteer at dog shelters. I love animals, but don't feel I can commit to taking care of one daily. So I give my time occasionally and go and snuggle or walk the dogs. I feel we get each other. They don't really know how they ended up here either.