Bitten twice shy (the change series 3 )

Chapter 10: Opening up

Trick

Molly’s question threw me off, it was a deep and personal question and my first response was to go on guard and become angry with her for asking such a personal thing, but I reminded myself she wasn’t like other people, she had autism and so naturally she wanted to ask questions to better understand me, she didn’t understand asking such a blunt question could be offensive, and I knew she hadn’t done it to upset me.

I sat back against the sofa and said, “can’t I just not be into that s.hit?”

“Of course, but I remember you saying there was a reason.”

S.hit, I swear she remembered everything. I looked over at Molly, she was mine, my mate, I could open up to her.

I folded my arms and said, “when my old pack were still living in America for a short while we came across another pack run by an alpha and his mate, when the alpha went away for a few days on some business with his work his mate said to my alpha she was happy to allow us to stay on their territory, she said she would show us around, help us out with whatever we needed as long as she got to have s**x with me while her husband spent his days away with work.”

She was listening to me intently, and I couldn’t look at her, I felt too ashamed, but I forced myself to carry on, “even now I still remember clear as day standing beside my alpha, all of us were with him, but her eyes traveled over everyone and landed on me, she came over, ran her hand along my chest and said she wanted me. I said no and, f***k me, you should have seen the anger in her eyes, my alpha must have seen it too because he put a hand on my shoulder squeezing painfully and smiled at her that yes, I would have s**x with her whenever she wanted.”

“You had to do it whether you wanted to or not?” She asked.

“Yes,” I gritted and then asked, “Shall we end it there or do you want the details?”

“We can end it here if it’s too much, or you can go into detail if it helps, I’m here for you, so whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me.”

She put her hand on mine, and my instinct was to pull away and not talk about it anymore, but there was another part of me that wanted to open up, that wanted to share it with someone, share my pain.

“I want to share it with you, but I don’t want you to look at me different or feel sorry for me, I don’t want you afraid to touch me after either.”

“I will never look at you differently, and I won’t feel sorry for you because I know you are strong and don’t need anyone’s pity, I will always want to touch you.” She lifted my hand and kissed it, I couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped me, never in my life had anyone kissed my f.ucking hand.

She left me and went to her room, confused I wondered what she was doing and saw her come back holding her weighted rabbit, it always helped her regulate, and I thought she was using it ready for what I would say, but she gave it to me and said, “you can use it, I know you don’t need stuffed animals like I do, but I want you to hold it and think of me, and maybe just focusing on it will help you if talking becomes difficult at certain times.”

“You are so f.ucking adorable,” I whispered and pulled her to me and kissed her, I knew for her, it was a big thing to allow someone else to use something so important and personal to her.

I obviously didn’t need it at all, but she had given me something really important to her, so I kept a hold of it.

I looked at it and said, “so uh, yeah, the alpha told her yes she was allowed to use me, f.ucking embarrassing having him say that in front of everyone, and even more embarrassing was her grabbing my crotch right there and then for everyone to see and telling me she wanted me right that moment.”

“What happened?” She asked, she seemed to know I needed to be encouraged to talk about it, and I was grateful, I don’t know why it made it a little easier, but it did, maybe because she cared to ask at all? I don’t know.

“She took me to her room, got on her knees and started giving me head, I couldn’t even try to distract myself with her looks because she wasn’t pleasant to look at either, she had some missing teeth, and must have been close to the end of her life because she looked around sixty years of age, not young, she did d.rugs, and I’m pretty sure she was an alcoholic too, if jasper didn’t have any on him, I would go to her and get some, I would f***k her for them, but I figured I had to anyway so may as well get something out of it.”

“Was it only oral that first time?” Molly asked gently.

“No, she made me have s**x with her on the bed, after that, she wanted it everywhere, I’d either have to f***k her on her office table, on the kitchen table and sometimes even the living room floor, she made me give her oral s**x once and after that, she wanted it every f.ucking time before the s**x. After a while, it got to the point where she became more daring and dangerous with the s**x, like having her husband around, one time she made me come to her room while she was in bed with her husband asleep beside her and I had to f***k her next to him, she didn’t seem to care about the danger of him waking up and killing her or me killing him.”

“That must have been awful,” she whispered.

“I was f.ucked up Molly, sometimes I’d f.ucking enjoy it and then feel sick for enjoying it after, sometimes I would go to her and ask for it first, I have no idea why, sometimes I was just drunk as f***k, other times I think I just wanted some sort of control over the situation.”

“What did Ellie do that makes you hate her so much now?”

“She grabbed my d.ick and put her hands down my trousers after the break-up, I told her to stop, and she wouldn’t, and it just brought it all back.”

“I shouldn’t touch you while you’re sleeping then,” she said, but I grabbed her hand and said, “no, don’t do that to me, Molly, don’t be afraid to touch me, I really love and appreciate that you asked for my permission first, and I said yes, if I didn’t want you to I would have said no.”

“I don’t want to trigger anything for you.”

“You won’t, it’s not like you’re just going to grab it without my consent, I’m giving you my consent now, I’m giving you permission to touch me whenever you want to, I wouldn’t say yes if I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Ok, if you’re sure.”

“I am,” I pulled her onto my lap and made her straddle me.

“Is it bad, I want s**x now?” I asked huskily.

“It depends, why do you want s**x?” She smiled.

“Because I want to feel close to you, I want to be intimate with you and forget about the s.hit I just talked about, I want to fill my nose with your scent and replace images of that vile b.itch with perfect images of you.”

I kissed her, and she leaned into the kiss, I kissed her for a really long time, I must have spent over ten minutes just kissing her, exploring her mouth with my tongue and tasting every inch of her.

I traced my lips along her skin as I kissed my way down her neck, I softly traced my tongue over her tender areas too and gave her light bites every so often, she moaned softly, enjoying the attention I was giving to her neck, so I bit down and sucked, I used my tongue and kissed in between sucking until she was left with a love bite, the moans she gave turned me on, so I gave her more love bites, and then I moved on to her b.reasts, lightly running my tongue along them and over her n.ipples making her cry out, I teasingly licked her n.ipples until they were hard nubs, and then I took turns sucking on each one until she was panting and moaning above me.

I worked my way down her stomach and I knew she was really sensitive along her sides and over her hips, so I traced my tongue across her body in between kisses, and when I reached her hip I bit her there and gave her another love bite. She was so f.ucking wet and the smell was like an aphrodisiac, she may as well have been in heat for me, she smelt so good.

I was going to have to focus on foreplay with her more often because it turned her on so much, and she smelt so f.ucking good. I slid down on the sofa and made her sit up higher on her knees, I held her a.ss cheeks and kissed her p*****..

“Don’t bite me there,” she moaned.

Chuckling against her, I murmured, “I won’t bite you sweetheart.” I went back to kissing and l.icking her p***y, enjoying the taste of her, she was so wet I wanted to lick and taste every inch, I was so f.ucking hard for her, I made her slide down on my c***k and groaned to the feel of her tightness, I remembered she wanted me to be more vocal, so I didn’t hold back what I enjoyed, I f.ucked her hard, holding her a.ss and making her ride me as I moaned and panted for her.

“f***k. You’re. So. F.ucking. Tight!” I groaned with every hard thrust.

When she struggled with what to do I slowed down a little and panted, “like that baby, just keep riding it like that,” I held her a.ss cheeks and moved her back and forth on me, and up and down, showing her how to do it.

When she got the hang of it I let her enjoy herself on me for a while, and then she wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me and started bouncing up and down on my c***k so fast that I literally blew my load in her so f.ucking hard within minutes of her riding me like that. I came moaning and growling and couldn’t have been quiet even if I wanted to. She came not long after and when she lay against me breathless and sweaty, I breathlessly said, “I’ve never had anyone ride me that f.ucking good, that was f.ucking amazing and you are so doing that again.”

“Ok, I will,” she giggled.

I carried her to her bedroom and put her on the bed. I went and turned the shower on and asked, “you want to join me?”

“Yes,” she got up and walked over to me on wobbly legs, taking her hand I helped her into the shower with me.