Back From To The Place She Never Left

July 27th 1994...... Dear diary..... I really want to thank you for coming into my life, everyone including my mum, Scarlet Mckinson thinks I'm crazy, my life is very lonely right now, Kathy, Jason and Papa are not making my life any better. Papa just got me transferred to a new school, so I wouldn't be with Kathy and Jason. He thinks I may hurt them but even God knows I can't even hurt a fly. Last week, the 20th was my birthday and Kathy gave you to me! God bless her soul. Remain my best friend's diary. Dear, since we're meeting for the first time my name is Jenner, Jenner Mckinson, I'm 12 right now. I just turned 12 last week and I've just been transferred to Harvey High School logo, I'm already in my final year! amazing, isn't it? even though they find me weird, I still top my class, weirder now right?. Papa's name is Andrew Mckinson, Mommy is Sarah Mckinson, I have two other siblings, elder sister Katherine, preferably Kathy Mckinson and younger bro, Jason Mckinson, i am 2 years ahead of Kathy in school, which I don't know how it happened. I look like my mum alot but I'm more beautiful than her as people say, well I don't care. Most people including me, don't believe in reincarnation. I mean it's absurd, anyone who dies; die forever, nobody gives birth to you again to come back suffering in this wicked world. But it feels weird when most times: I feel like I'm living a life I have lived before, I feel like I'm doing things I've done before. I've only been in Manila for 2 years but it feels like I've been here my whole life. When we first arrived two years ago, we visited my Auntie, Auntie Tracy. Well I don't know how my parents are related to her but I just know she is Auntie Tracy. Auntie Tracy lives in 05 orchard Street house, flat 4. I've never been there before but when we went to visit her I felt like I've lived there before, I could even picture myself circling around the neighborhood! only that the houses there looked different, like they've been replaced or renovated, I felt like there was a bungalow that was my before house two but it was missing, houses 4&5 were gone too, and in its place was a modern seven-story building. I felt like there was an apple tree that was there before but I couldn't see it anymore. I felt like the outside of the road which held houses, was not that way before. It was a farm owned by Mrs Hartfield, now, how the hell did I come up with the name, I asked myself. I could even picture myself as Mrs Hartfield 's daughter, I also felt like my father died when I was just five years old and my twin brother lives in Australia. Weird right? ok as we got to the house, on getting to flat 4, Mother wanted to ring the door bell. "The doorbell is not working", I suddenly said to her, " who told you that" mother asked " I just felt like", I replied, she just ignored me and went ahead to ring the doorbell why I knocked on the door and true to my word the doorbell was not working. I never figured out how I got to know that too, Kathy gave me that weird look, don't ask me how I knew, I could read people's eyes too. Tracy answered the door and apologized for keeping us waiting this door bell has not been working since ages differently and i couldn't fix it. This house is over 150 years old, She announced letting us in, "You know I was told it belonged to Mrs Hartford", she continued, He gave it the name Orchard Street. "What happened to her daughter", I asked her curiously, "Nobody says anything about her", Tracey replied, "But I believe she died before her mother. "Her name was Sarah Hartfield?" I asked, "Smart girl!" Tracy exclaimed, My family dumbfounded, "How did you know her name?" "I saw a headstone that bears their name", I replied I have never been to the cemetery before it scares the wits out of me. "Enough of your interrogations Jenner" My Mom interrupted and squeezed my hand to signal that I should keep quiet. I excused myself and went outside, I felt like I knew something about the doorbell I could see the way the house was wired. I knew where the doorbell was too, so I climbed the wall with the ladder I saw there, in no time I fixed the right wires together, Kept back the ladder where I got it from and rang the doorbell, this time it works! My finger was still on the doorbell when the door opened, everyone was shocked to see me there or maybe my hand was on the doorbell. "Who fixed it?" Tracy asked me, "I did" I replied, "The wires are up there so I used your ladder to fix it. "I don't have a ladder" Tracy replied, bewildered, "I used this one" I explained, pointing in the direction of the ladder and turning towards it but it was gone. You need to see the check on my face, My Mom dragged me into the house, "How did you fix the bell?" Tracy asked, "Many electricians have been here all week and couldn't fix it, "She did not", My Papa replied, "I did Father I used the ladder I saw there to fix the bell", I insisted, "The bell was behind Wall Rapper on the wall "That's enough", Papa shouted, "You did not fix anything everywhere became silent. Papa's voice scares a monster away when he is angry. After the awkward silence, everyone recovered and began to talk but the conversation wasn't as good as it was before I went to that doorbell. We left auntie Tracy's house later that day I never went back to her house with the rest of my family, My family made sure I stayed away from Orchard Street. We are Catholics and I could feel Sarah Hartfield's mother was vibrant for Christ and so was Sarah. I really wanted to know about Sarah, I felt like something is weird Her sudden disappearance, I mean everybody avoids the name like a plague, Her brother Isaac Hatfield lost possession of the Hartfield's property because it doesn't have the right papers. "The stupid government claimed my house", I screamed all of a sudden forgetting where I was and unfortunately I was in the class. "Jenner Mckinson!" the teacher called, I stood up all eyes on me, I felt like falling into the Earth, I mean I don't want to die like Sarah did well I don't even know what the hell killed her. "Jenner!" My teacher's voice brought me back to reality, "Were you in a trance?" She asked, "No ma", I replied, ”I've asked you the same question more than twice but you did not answer” She told me, But what I heard was "Sarah I've asked you a question more than twice but you did not answer what is the matter with you", And in the place of my teacher Miss Gina was an Elderly Teacher,Mrs Hartford, How did I even come up with that name? "I am sorry Miss Gina" I replied "Which government claimed your property" She asked, I pretentiously chuckled, " I was only rehearsing for a drama, I didn't know it came out loud, I'm sorry", I told her, "In a mathematics class?" she was confused and furious at the same time, "I am sorry Miss pretty", I called her to make her smile, My charm worked, She smiled but Her frown returned immediately, "Go and solve the questions on the board" She commanded, I was done in two minutes, Sarah knows the answers, She is a genius! Everyone believes I am very brilliant only I know the truth, Everyone was astounded when I was done with the questions including Miss Gina, she thought I would never get it right as it was her first time introducing the topic but I shocked her. I am supposed to be in middle school but I'm a High School, My Principal Mrs Karen feels like I should just go to college which my parents can't afford and that which I am planning to write a scholarship exam soon with or without their permission. I did go to Orchard Street and to see Aunty Tracy but not with my parents. When I got to her house, I could see Sarah running down the stairs excitedly after spoiling the door bell, which was actually to help her best friend Molly. Molly complained the door bell scares her, So naughty Sarah decided to help by pulling the connecting wires apart, No one knew she actually did that, Not even her friend Molly. Sarah had used Mr Smart's ladder and that I was the same ladder I used even though it was broken and disposed of 150 years ago. I rang the doorbell and a smiling Tracy opened the door. It's been over two years since I last visited, She was happy to see me and commented that l've become bigger and more beautiful. For some reasons I don't know, I am bigger than Kathy. Tracy did the sign of the cross over me to wade away the eyes of evil men from me. My beauty amazes me, I feel like I am a work of art by an amazing sculpture, even at 12, Men always look at me till I am out of sight Aunty Tracy is a widow with three grown-up children, all of whom are in college and she is a Historian, I felt She was the right person to answer all of my questions. "Tracy I need your help", I told her, "Is there a problem my darling", she asked, I am writing about Sarah Hartfield in an Essay Competition in my school", I lied, Tracy gasped, "You shouldn't do that", "I wanted something unique for the competition", I continued with the lie hoping She would buy it, "We have this upcoming inter-schools Government sponsored Essay Writing Competition, it comes with a nice price of 25,000 Dollars", Aunt Tracy's eyes widened, Her only weakness is money and I hope she buys this one, "Who would throw so much money on just Essays" She asked, "I was shocked too", I replied, "I guess it's just a way to make the students become studious and more competitive", Aunty Tracy sighed, "You would come back tomorrow Jenner", She told me, "Before then I would research about her, I only know about Sarah's Brother but it seems everything about Her was wiped away", She pulled me up and walked towards the door, She closed the door as soon as I was outside, I was too dumbfounded to speak, the door creaked open again and she brought out her face, "Never mention this to anyone" She warned and closed her door. I stood there for two minutes extra not because of the way Aunty Tracy acted but because a crying Sarah had come out of the house and run downstairs obviously Molly was dead by suicide, I tried to shake off the painful feeling I felt and walked home. Dear Diary Aunty Tracy did not contact me like I felt she would and My mind has not been at rest either, I really want to find out who Sarah is and how I'm related to her and why I feel like I am her well. I am only 12 years old but it feels like I've lived 15 years and In Manila all my life.