My Jaded Love, Forbidden Love

Mikayla POV My chest felt tight; a heat rushed through my body as I scanned the words on the screen of my phone one more time to make sure I didn’t misread them or that my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. ‘Kay, it’s not working anymore, but it was fun.’ “It was fun!” My heart now pounded against my chest as rage swelled up inside of me like a tidal wave ready to wipe out everyone in my path. Jared and I had been dating for almost two years now. Sure, things hadn’t been great lately; I knew he was struggling with what had happened with Max, I was struggling with being kidnapped and almost killed, and then having to walk Jared through it, like it happened to him, just made me push him away, but I was trying to mend the bridges between us. Only for him to break up with me over a text message! He didn’t even have the decency to do it face-to-face but by text message, not even a phone call. I always knew he had no balls; he was a coward, and I didn’t need a coward; I needed a man. I feel my fury pulsing through my veins as I glance back at the phone and see his words once again. They are like a giant slap to the face. I had spent the last 18 months of my life with him. Sure, after Max, things changed, but before that, we were happy; we had fun, a lot of fun. He used to make my stomach flutter when he walked into the room, but now it felt like I was clinging to a sinking ship. Was this all my fault? No. I didn’t ask to be kidnapped and almost killed by a deranged psychopath. And I was trying with Jared. I had been pushing down all my dark thoughts and feelings because he couldn’t handle my emotions. I had stopped staying at his house at night so I didn’t disturb him when I had the recurring nightmare that plagued me every single night. I was putting all my effort into him, trying to please him, and he broke up with me over a text message. Rage thrummed through me. I slammed my car door shut and stormed up the stairs to his front door. I had just pulled up outside his house when I got his text message. I had spent the last three hours shaving every inch of my body, doing my hair and makeup, and putting batteries into all the new toys I had bought for us to play with as a way of saying sorry for being an emotional mess. I even bought a bottle of his favorite wine, a wine I can’t stand but would put up with for him. Loud music blares from his door, so I hold my fist up and bang loudly to make sure he can hear me. My heart pounds as I wait for him to answer the door. The music stops; I can hear footsteps getting closer to the door. It opens up, and a skinny blonde wearing a flirty smile and just his shirt, a shirt I used to wear after we had just fùcked, answers. “Can I help?” She asks; her voice is high-pitched and irritating. A loud pounding rattles my ears; I can feel my pulse racing as the adrenaline pulses through my body. I push the door open and her out of the way and storm into his front room. “Hey!” The blonde shouts behind me, but I’m in no mood for her. “Mikayla, what are you doing here?” Jared says he is lying on the floor completely naked; his eyes go wide as he grabs one of his dirty cushions from his futon, covering up his underwhelming manhood. He grabs his boxers, jumping up so he can quickly pull them up; his short brown hair is all ruffled, a used condom lies on the grotty-looking floor next to a bottle of lube, and the room reeks of sèx. I don’t say anything as my fury explodes; he didn’t even wait to end things with me before he jumped into bed with someone else. He slept with the blonde and then ended things with me. I threw the bottle of wine I had in my hands at him; I wasn’t much of a wine drinker anyway. Jared, unfortunately, ducks; the bottle smashed against the wall, large shards of glass land behind him, and the air fills with the smell of wine. “Shít Kay.” He screeches. “You mother fùcker!” I snarl. My anger is bubbling over now. I unleash my fury by reaching into the pink gift bag full of toys I was carrying and throwing the large black dìldo at him, hitting him on the forehead. As it hits the floor, it begins to vibrate across the wood, the buzzing sound of the toy filling the silence. As much as I want to laugh at the face he makes, my rage won’t allow it. “I hope your díck rots and drops off.” I snarl and storm out, stopping in front of the blonde. “Here, you will need this more than me. His microdíck couldn’t make a fùcking rabbit cùm!” I say as I pass her the pink gift bag full of sèx toys. “Mikayla, you are fùcking crazy!” He shouts. “Fùck you, Jared!” I shout as I storm out of his house and down his path toward my car. His footsteps pounded on the ground behind me, and I knew he was catching up to me. My steps become faster, but he’s quicker than me; his hand wraps around my arm tightly and yanks me back, and he pulls me again so I’m facing him; his nostrils flare, and his eyes look cold and hard. “Get the fùck off me.” I spit and push him away. He grabs me again, this time on both my arms; his grip is tight, and I can feel my skin pinching. He pushes me back against my car, being careful to not slam my back against it. “I’m sorry, Kay, it’s not you; it’s me.” I saw the pity filling his eyes, and I hated that. I didn’t want his pity; I wasn’t a victim; I was a survivor. I survived the ordeal I went through with Max, even though sometimes it was a struggle. I was trying so hard to move forward and put it all behind me. “How long?” I ask, I don’t hide the anger in my voice. “What?” “How long have you been fùcking that bimbo behind my back?” I shout. His eyes soften, and my heart sinks. “A few months.” “Are you fùcking kidding me?” I push against his chest, making him step back; I pull my arm back and push it forward exactly how Ryan had shown me. I hear a dull thud along with a throbbing fist as it connects with the bridge of his nose. “Fùck Kay!” He hissed as he grabbed his face. Before I turned around to make my escape, he lunged forward, closing the small gap between us; a trickle of blood dripped from his nose, and his eyes were watery, meaning that I had hit him hard. He pushed his face into mine and banged both hands against the top of my car, trapping me between them. My heart began to race, and I could feel my hands and legs trembling, but I refused to let him see I was afraid. “Jared, stop it!” The blonde shouts. He glared at me, his narrowed eyes burning with rage. He abruptly stepped back, and I felt my body relax; he turned on his heel, grabbed the blonde by her arm, and pulled her inside, slamming the front door. I climbed into my car and quickly pulled away; the thought of going home alone caused pains to gurgle in my chest. I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I drive into town replaying what had just happened; the sting of betrayal sours my throat. I push the heavy door to the bar open; a chime plays above my head, making Mike the bartender look at me. He gives me a curt nod of his head but quickly looks away to the fridge he was stocking. Inside smells like stale beer and sweat, the lights are dim; a bright blue neon light casts a blue glow on a few of the locals who are sitting at the bar. They smile at me as I walk past them, but I'm seething; I can’t even muster a smile. I thought Jared was different. I believed he was a good guy; he acted as if I was the most important thing in the world to him, but it was all a lie. I plonk my aśs on the bar stool furthest away from everyone else and wait for Mike to come over. “Your usual, Kay?” “No, I will have a shot of Bulleit.” Mike pours my drink and passes it to me; I quickly throw it back, ignoring the burn in my throat, and nod, letting him know I want another. This time he pours it and walks away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. How could I have been so stupid? How did I not see this sooner? Jared had been distant, but I thought it was because of the trial with Max and my inability to share my thoughts and feelings. I thought now that Max had been sentenced and I had finally put all of that behind me, that things would have gotten better for us. I had been trying so hard to be the attentive girlfriend he wanted. I ignored that gnawing feeling in my gut and gave the relationship my all. How could I have been so wrong? “This is from the gentleman over there,” Mike says, putting a fresh drink in front of me. I look across the bar at the handsome stranger and smile, picking my glass up and downing it in one shot. I pick up my purse and slink across the bar and sit down beside the man. “Thanks for the drink.” He has light brown eyes and light brown hair. He’s slim but tall and well-dressed; his face looks smooth, which is a shame; I like a bit of stubble on a man, but right now I didn’t care; I just wanted to forget about Jared, I wanted to forget about everything. “You’re welcome. Would you like another?” I shake my head while smiling at the stranger. I reach across and grab his tie, gently pulling him closer to my face. I see his Adam's apple bob as his eyes look down at my lips; I bite down on my bottom lip, knowing it is driving him wild. “No, I don’t want another drink. Let’s get out of here.” “Sure, I’m staying at the hotel down the road.” I grab his hand and stand up, leading him out of the bar. As soon as the door closes behind him, I feel his hands gently gripping my hips; I turn around and hook my arms around his neck, pulling him down to my lips. He tastes like beer and cigarettes, but I don’t care. I want to feel exhilarated tonight. I push him against the wall, letting my hands slide down his body until I get to his belt. I pull at it, opening it up until he grabs my hands and pulls away from my lips. “Someone will see.” “So.” He smiles and smashes his lips into mine again as we stumble down the back alley behind the bar. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP “Oh god!” I moan as the buzzing of my alarm sounds like a hammer banging against my brain. I roll over and swing my arm, hoping to stop the noise that is wanting to make my brain explode; I hear a small thud and then silence. I roll over, pulling the duvet with me and wrapping it around myself. RING RING RING RING I slowly sit up, holding my head to stop the banging. I grab my phone, which is on the floor, and groan when I see Justin’s name. “Hello.” My throat is dry, making my voice sound groggy. “Mikayla, where the hell are you?” Justin shouts down the phone, making me squeeze my eyes tight. I pull the phone away from my ear so I can check the time. “Shít,” I mutter under my breath, realizing I am extremely late for work. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel too well. I must have fallen back asleep. I will come now.” “Don’t bother. Next time make sure you call Mikayla. Consider this your last warning. I’m sick of your shít. You need to sort yourself out. Ever since Max, you have been difficult.” My heart began to race hearing his name, causing pains in my chest; my hand clutching the phone trembled, and I felt the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck lift. I wished that his name didn’t affect me the way it did, but it does. Every night when I close my eyes, I see his dead eyes peering at me from the dark. I get to relive his torment and feel the fear he instilled in me over and over, unable to change the outcome, even though he was locked up and wasn’t going to see the light of day anytime soon, I was still terrified that he would be waiting for me in a dark corner of my house. “Fùck you, Justin, and fùck your job. I quit!” I hung up the phone, feeling strangely liberated. I hated working at the hotel now. Ever since Cait left, it just wasn’t the same. And this town was growing smaller and smaller each day. The only reason I was still here was my job and Jared, and now I didn’t have either of them. I glanced at my phone; maybe Cait would like a visit while I figured out what I was going to do next. I went to my phone book and scrolled down to her name, but something stopped me from calling her. Instead, my finger hovered over the name below hers, and I felt compelled to hit ring. “I was just thinking of you.” “Hey Daddy, how are you feeling?” I wasn’t sure what compelled me to call my dad, but the thought of being alone caused pains to explode in my chest. I didn’t want to be alone; I wanted to go home. “I’m good; just missing my little Care Bear.” “Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and I want to come home. Is that ok?” “Of course it’s ok; it’s more than ok. I will get your room ready for you. Tripp will be excited.” I held back the groan that was trying to break free. Tripp was my older brother by two years. His wife had left him 6 months ago, and he crawled back home to Dad. But who was I to judge? I was basically doing the same thing. And he seemed to be trying with Dad, which I was happy about, but I knew he had little tolerance for me; to him, I was just his screw-up little sister who was nothing but a pain in his aśs. “I can’t wait.”