My Jaded Love, Forbidden Love

Chapter 4

Mikayla POV

My pulse races. My whole body feels like it’s on fire, and it felt like Rafe was looking directly into my soul—as if my eyes were a window made just for him. Heat rises to my cheeks under his intense gaze, and my teeth bit down on my bottom lip, which made his eyes darken.

The smell of malt, sweat, and perfume dissolved. All I can smell now is him. His aftershave was fresh but spicy. He smelled divine.

He slides into the booth beside Tripp, sitting directly opposite me. I could feel his knees brushing against mine, sending tingles through my body. His eyes danced with amusement, but he doesn’t look away, making my heart thunder.

“How long are you back for?” He asked. His voice was deep but gentle and sèxy as hell. I could fall asleep to the sound of him talking.

I glance down at my lap, finally breaking the intense connection.

“I’m not sure,” I say with a shrug.

The truth is, I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stay here; I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I just needed to be somewhere that I felt safe, somewhere I didn’t feel alone, and Rafe was only making staying here feel more tempting.

When I look back up, he was still watching me, his lips curled into a half-smile that looked sèxy and dangerous. Fùck, he’s so fùcking hot.

“I hope you never leave,” Dad chimed in, drawing a grin from me.

I turned to face Tripp and Rafe, but my gaze lands on Rafe again. His pupils seemed larger, his eyes dipped to my lips, then back up to my eyes, making my breathing shallow.

“I’m glad you're back,” he says, smiling softly—and damn it, my cheeks heat again.

Tripp tapped Rafe’s bulky arm and pointed across the bar, making Rafe look away, giving me a moment to finally breathe. I took a sip of my beer, which was warm now and bitter. I put the bottle on the table as the girls behind me began to whisper, very loudly, about Rafe and Tripp, causing a tight knot to coil in my stomach.

“I’m going to speak to him.” One of them said, and my stomach dropped.

I glanced back, curious about who was going to try to speak to Rafe, and instantly regretted it. The group of women behind us were beautiful, just like the bimbo Jared had cheated on me with, and I suddenly feel small, messy and underdressed.

I had grabbed the first pair of jeans and top that I could find, I barely bothered with any makeup, and I just shook my hair out after pulling out the clip. God, it probably looked like a bird's nest.

“I will be back in a tick,” I mutter trying to slide out of the booth as gracefully as possible.

Rafe’s burning gaze followed me, burning into me, and I suddenly felt exposed, like he could see the real me. I grabbed my bag and weaved through the crowd of people who were standing around, chatting, heading straight to the bathroom, which was down a narrow, gloomy corridor just after the kitchen, where Maria was constantly coming in and out.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I began to fluff my hair into something that resembled volume, but it hung lifelessly beside my face. I should have just washed it. Goddamn Tripp teasing me about taking two hours to get ready—he didn’t mention he was bringing his beautiful best friend along, or I would have taken the teasing. Frustrated, I let my hands drop to my side when I caught my reflection in the round mirror above the washbasin. I looked washed out; my cheeks had no color, and my skin was extremely pale. God, I looked sick. I rummaged through my bag and dabbed on some lipstick and swiped some mascara on, and pinched my cheeks to add some color to my face. There wasn’t much more I could do, so after one last look and a quick adjustment of my boobs, I left the bathroom and began what felt like the longest walk back to the booth.

“It really is good to have you back, Darling.” His voice came from behind me, close to my ear, startling me. But my insides melted. I turn and find Rafe just stepping out of the men’s room. And for a moment, it’s like time slows. That boy I used to think was cute? Gone. In his place is a full-grown man with broad shoulders, devastating eyes, and a presence that makes me forget how to function.

“Thanks, Rafe. It’s good to have you—be back. I mean, be back. It’s good to be back here, at home,” I stammered like a fùcking idìot.

His lips twitched, making him look ridiculously handsome. God, that smile should be illegal. I never struggled to talk to guys before. I was smooth and flirtatious. With Jared, I was a queen of flirting. But Rafe seemed to make me feel all jumbled. My brain seems to short-circuit, leaving me to fend for myself in front of the God. No one had ever befuddled me this way before. Just being close to him, I drop my gaze and let my hair fall forward, hoping to hide my red cheeks. I could feel Rafe behind me as we made our way to the booth; every tiny hair on my arm lifted; it felt like electricity was licking my skin from being so close to him.

Dad stood up and pulled on his jacket, and I felt relief. If he was leaving, so was I.

“You stay here with your brother. I’ll see you in the morning,” Dad said as he slid out of the booth. I grabbed my phone off the table and shoved it into my bag while shaking my head.

“I will come with you.” I blurt out fast. “I’m exhausted after driving all day.”

“Goodnight, Darling,” Rafe said, his voice a deep rumble that sent my pulse soaring. And the way he said darling, he doesn’t make it feel casual, he makes it sounds possessive and sèxy. God, what the hell is wrong with me? One compliment from a handsome man and I was putty in his hands.

I smiled as I looked into his light brown eyes, entranced at the beautiful shade of brown they were; they had speckles of gold in them, and when the light hit them, they looked like rich honey. I couldn’t look away.

“Goodbye, Mikayla!” Tripp sneered, breaking the trance Rafe had over me.

Rafe turned, muttering something to him that I didn’t quite hear.

“Bye, Tripp. See you around, Rafe.”

I spun on my heel and followed my father out of the bar, waving to John and Maria as we passed. As the door swung open, the cold night breeze engulfed me, making goosebumps prickle across my skin. I wrapped my arms tightly around my body and followed my dad toward his truck, climbing inside and waiting for the warmth from his heater to kick in.

I let out a deep sigh. I couldn't stop thinking about Rafe. The way he looked at me. The way he made me feel as his eyes locked onto mine, and holy hell, he was handsome, ridiculously handsome.

"Are you ok, Care Bear?" Dad asked as we drove home.

I glanced out the window, watching the houses and bushes that lined the sidewalk blur into one. I didn't know how to answer that. I thought I was fine, but then he walked into the bar, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I rested my head against the glass, enjoying how cool it felt against my hot skin.

"I'm just tired, Daddy."

I pulled the duvet back off the bed and slipped beneath it; it felt so strange being back in my tiny teenage bed. I just hoped I didn't fall out in the night. I was used to having a queen bed to myself, and I knew I was a wriggler when I slept, especially when I was dreaming. The silky material of the sheets felt so soft against my legs, and I felt strangely safe wrapped in my old bedding, even though it was the most hideous thing to grace this earth. I lay my head against the soft but thin pillow and closed my eyes, but I couldn't stop thinking about Rafe. God, I was pathetic.

It didn’t take long for me to drift off. Today had been a long day, but my dreams were just as fùcked up as my actual life. In my dreams, I relived that terrible night with Cait and Max; only in my dreams, I was completely helpless. Max always seemed bigger in my dreams, his frame larger, and me and Cait, my sweet best friend, always died. I would have to watch as he sliced her open and left her to bleed out, or I would feel his blade slicing into my flesh.

This time, though, he was standing in my bedroom, between me and the door. I could hear the sound of his knife scraping against his finger as he ran it over the blade, testing out the sharpness. He tilted his head as his eyes locked with mine; his wicked smile sent an icy chill down my spine. He sprinted forward, leaping onto the bed with his knife raised, ready to slam it into my heart.

I bolted up, sweat coating my body. The silky sheets clung to my skin.

“Kay, are you ok?” Tripp asked as he opened the door to my bedroom.

My heart was hammering against my chest, which felt tight, making it hard for me to breathe. The light from the hallway flooded the room, making Tripp look like a dark silhouette, just like Max did in my dream. He flipped the light on, making me squint my eyes to shield them from the intrusive bright light. I glanced around the room, letting out a deep breath when I realized I was safe, that Max wasn’t here, and he wasn’t hurting me.

“It was just a bad dream.” I whispered, still breathless.

“Kay, I just want you to know I will never let anyone hurt you again.”

Tripp sat down at the end of the bed, making the metal frame creak; his clothes smelled of beer, cigarettes, and a strong perfume.

“Thanks, Tripp.”

He stood up, tripping over one of my boots that I had kicked off earlier.

“Shìt,” he whispered, making me giggle.

“Goodnight, Tripp.”

“Night, Kay, I’m just across the hall.” He shouted, making me giggle some more.

I listened to his bedroom door slamming shut, followed by a series of thuds and more swearing. I dropped back down onto my pillow, ignoring the bright light that filled my room. I wanted to be able to see every inch of it.

No shadows.

No hiding places.