Kitsch? [ remake ]

Damn. Now, the boy"s done it to earn a whole lot of nagging later. But he still kept his eye on the time, wishing he could count the seconds pass by. Him counting was either too fast or too slow- maybe because of him upon a screen for who knows how long. Others his age sat aside, socializing though he didn"t really felt the need to. He had been the type of person that"d get along with anyone, really. Though, something he had always been self-taught was the fact that a student"s job was to learn, not get involved in trouble. Listening on deaf ears, Jingyi raised his hand to be allowed to go. Unlike other students, Jingyi built upon a reputation of the kind of student that"d exceed all standards. Without getting in trouble on top of all that. "Again? You never do change... Why didn"t you go for lunch?" He only smiled. "It"s my only free time to do whatever." His friend, Winston, watched him as he left and for two years of sharing information back and forth, he knew what Jingyi was going to do. Winston couldn"t help but feel groggy. Halls in school, while classes were going on, were always so quiet. Maybe because of the tight surveillance of extra staff and cameras. He passed by a teacher, one he barely knew of and smiled. When he dreadfully HATED it all inside. After he was far enough, he started to run, looking as if he were to be escaping from a prison with heightened senses to keep watch. No, it wasn"t there at all. From far away, it wasn"t there on the tables. Where could it have dropped out from his pocket? It was the only day, he decided to wear something a bit different and now he had lost his lunch money? Jingyi went to the bathroom and searched. It wasn"t there either but it could"ve been in the last stall- which of course someone had been using. Heavy footsteps were coming. "Ow!" Accidentally, Jingyi slammed his shoulder against the stall in the attempt for escape. "What are you doing? You"ve been gone for more than ten minutes." A taller staff said. He wore a tight suit and tie- and the worse case had a walkie-talkie in hand. Jingyi gulped. The staff looked as if he didn"t want to live through another second of life with his arched brows. Jingyi, who was holding onto his dark pink bruised shoulder as a student just came out of the bathroom stall nearby. Isn"t it regular to think that it"s another fight when about a hundred happen at school? The staff brought up another adult to find the student. Turns out he"s the class next door to Jingyi"s. What"s worse is that he"s one of those boys that"d get in trouble. Meaning that the staff wouldn"t even want to hear a word before he starts to slit his wrists. Both staffs asked questions. One of them stayed quiet as they watched. Student tries to talk. He shuts up before Jingyi finds out that the question is directed to him personally. He knows that he should"ve found a different time to find his lunch money that he didn"t work that hard on. At least he finished the assignment his teacher gave him but then the adults wouldn"t listen. Because before he knew it, Jingyi was speaking with red, teared up and averted eyes as all classes around opened their doors. As Winston was one of the first ones that rushed out. - - - The day of school became its last since it was graduation. Even if it was just one last day of showing his face, Jingyi didn"t want to from then and there. Having everyone witness him crying is the worst. It made the other student look bad and now the real truth couldn"t be out from the fact Jingyi didn"t come. Oh, how his parents pleaded. There was a college fair at the time of graduation. Exactly what it sounds like. As a sophomore, he was planning to attend- instead of taking all the merchandise, he was actually going to ask around because he didn"t know what to make of his future. Tuition? Dorms? Reputation? And is it small? "What the hell. You got four perfectly healthy limbs and you don"t even work to earn food? Stop acting like your cousin. I"ll have to kick you out of the house if I have to." His father said, angry after drinking four beers. After losing his job, all that he could do now was cuss and wreck things. Even Grandmother"s favorite couch. Even slapped Mother, his own love. It got so out of hand that Jingyi vowed to his younger siblings that he"ll let them live with him once he finds a place, college, and job. Jingyi did anyway and thought of finally going free once he told the father of all that. Hugging each one of his siblings and mother, he turned to dad who looked proud as he patted Jingyi strongly on his back. Saying goodbye and not be able to see them once in a while... So, better make the goodbyes worth it. But oh how he hated the friendly feeling and wished that his father could get a taste of his own bad luck. - - - Two weeks later was when Jingyi heard a call from his little sister, An. The last time he received was from a week ago- and it was about complex high school homework crap. "Hello?" "Brother! Did you hear about Dad?" Cut between words were short breaths and fast-paced taps. The background was quiet and then the clap of a door. "What about him? And where are you?" "The hospital..." A long pause. Then a clacking from his sister"s phone dropping to the floor, hard. "What?!" Now, Jingyi was fully aware because of the unbearable crying. It felt like forever since he was there to see his little sister cry but then there"s the good side. He wasn"t exactly the best type of person that can cheer you up- by plainly bringing up something out of nowhere- maybe even start out with a short story. All of that felt so long ago that Jingyi didn"t say anything whilst he was drowned with self-guilt. Jingyi"s thumb hovered over his phone once he ended the call. Then he furrowed his eyebrows like he"d walk out the door and saw the bright ass sun. He wasn"t confused about his father"s death- but more of himself. Why wasn"t he crying? Why wasn"t he able to feel sad other than regret? And... How long had his body tightened whenever his father was there? He was mad at himself for being unable to find the answer. Jingyi"s day went the same with no changes- there were small changes but more of himself if he had known what to look for sadly. Jingyi stood up and grabbed his monochrome striped backpack. Recently finished with his class as a first year in college, he had felt as if he had been a lot too moody with his classmates. Maybe it was that time of the week- but periods aren"t for men. When Winston was with him though, he had never felt like that. Not even once. "I gotta go." Jingyi was satisfied with the amount of work finished- still annoyed over his partners doing less work. A few classmates decided to leave up and about, treating college like any other kind of school they"d been to. His partners whom he was paired with smiled and waved as he left, packing up as well. "Good work!" "See ya..." "After classes...", Jingyi thought as he held onto his cup of coffee- one his teacher bought for him," Then, the bus." The walk to the entrance of campus went fast since he never liked to stay around after classes despite having much free time. By the time he made it, he pulled out his phone to call his sister. The thing is, he didn"t know where his phone could be after touching it in places whilst having a small heart attack. Jingyi turned his head. He didn"t know anybody that went to the same stop- so that was cut from the list. The last thing he needed to do was wait till he gets home to use the phone. The bus came shortly and Jingyi climbed on, never mind that he was the last one on. He took one of the closer seats to the front on the left then dug both hands inside of his jacket, pulling out- surprisingly- not-badly-tangled earbuds. Like the bus wasn"t quiet enough, he used the earbuds as earplugs. Not being able to contact his sister put him on a bad note. But, it"s worse than being on the phone to say nothing. He was just there for his sister- and Jingyi knew that but he couldn"t find it in himself that was at least happy. Jingyi set his bag aside and brought his body close. Sometimes, he felt the need to be alone in a dark space with nothing but himself. A really long and tight hug could have done the trick. What could come out of his sister if he actually did stay? Would he had been able to hear his father"s last words? He was so frustrated, he stopped looking out the windows. It sickened him. Finding nothing to look at normally- other than his phone, he laid his head on the window. Then, to close his eyes. What"ll happen to his mother? It"ll hurt a lot once she hears the news. Not like she had... And, why was there a reason to feel regret for? He hasn"t done anything he remembered well and felt proud. Finishing school was probably one but it"ll be the same for almost everyone. So was it worth it to try to end it? He never did touch a knife or try to. It was all in his thoughts. It wasn"t worth it either. He"d feel like he would throw his "perfect" environment away. Loving parents. Amazing food and a warm place. A big house too. Pictures of all the memories. Being the oldest of two. Going through every holiday with his family. Now, look at him- having a job as a cashier while studying literature to become a better writer. Literally, anybody can be a writer-his mother would say. He left most of his friends and soon enough, it wouldn"t a surprise if he"d come to ask to sleep at their place for a couple of nights. Most likely, they"d say no. His shoulders felt tense, but then they dropped. If people felt so troubled with him- just wait. After all, it could be nearby. The bus abruptly stopped. "f**k!" Curse words were spouted out as each passenger were fully aware. The bus driver though still kept the bus moving. Fast. "What the hell"s wrong with that bus up there?" Jingyi, thinking that it was the bus he was on, stood up from his seat slightly. Lights of red and blue shined brightly from far away. One- no, two cop cars moving in close while it followed behind the bus the driver was talking about. Behind it caused two other accidents- then, crashed through the cement to go to the wrong side of the road. The front lights broke in- and the side of the bus, including the side mirrors and a bit of the window from a nearby light post. "f**k! f**k! Hurry up and step on the goddamned pedal!" Now people were holding on tightly to get away but as the man who yelled stopped- the bus stopped again that everybody fell off their seats. Jingyi accidentally hit his head against the bus"s wall. He flinched. Maybe it was the driver that had pulled the brakes as the vehicle crashed into the front so badly that the glass shattered uncontrollably. Some men and women screamed. Some started to cry. But it was nothing compared to the ringing in Jingyi"s ears. Blood ran down the side of his head and dropped off the side of his cheek. His head hurt way too much to even think or stay awake much longer. As Jingyi"s wish was granted, he wondered if he"ll still receive his mother"s nagging.