NAIROBI'S HUSTLER

Life in itself is a journey, an endless journey full of ups, downs, twists and turns. Leave alone the corners and bumps. People move from here and there everyday looking for someone or something which in turn shows that we all have a common sense of direction. Pilots and sailors use compasses, drivers use maps and some just follow the stars to where they are going. When I was young used to see leapers crawling in the streets of Nairobi begging for some spare change- with the blind, the deaf and most disables people. Some people are kind hearted enough to share some money with them while others could just reply rudely"Go back to your people", "I know that you are somebody's investment" and such. Sometimes I could see people running off with the begger's money but unfortunately I never pitied them because I believe that a person gets what he/she deserves. They must have done something wrong to someone for them to be in such a situation. My best friend and I work at ambassador as your everyday pickpocket skilled in the art of removing jeweleries from people's hands and neck and phones from bags and pockets. It's not that I don't like to work but I do crime just for the amusement and the adrenaline. I have a couple of business at home and some apartments that I've rented out, which shows that 'money ain't a problem'. I met Johnny while I was fifteen years old at a club and from how he was talking, dressed and his vybes I knew that we just different sides of the same coin because the kid had some style. Nowerdays I usually call Johnny Generally , which means General because the guy moves in a strategic manner that you would think he's been to the military. Being a Sunday morning, we don't usually go to work since there aren't many people moving around the C.B.D. I go to church on Sundays and I'm waiting for a matatu at the stage( after a while a bus comes I get in and seat behind the conductors seat next to man and we started talking) "niaje buda." I greeted him, "fiti tu kijana." he replied "today looks like a good day to pray for all the things that are happening in our country because I believe that it's only God who can save this nation" I told him. (He looked at me and smiled, then he looked at his watch) " you look like a smart young man whose well educated, from how I can see you are dressed, you are most certainly going to church but when you're there don't forget to pray for me since I'll be working on this sabbath." he said. "What do you do?" I asked him curiously "I'm just a watchman working at an Indian's house."he answered, "what do you do son?" he then asked me "My work is clearing and forwarding of goods from one point to another."( Just a longer way of saying that I'm a thief) I answered him. "can you fix my son with a job where you work" he asked. I looked at his face and saw the desperation in his eyes, I laughed and touched him on the shoulder-only to remove a silver chain from his neck "The business is to risky for the young man as he might not be able to lift up the heavy stuffs that we move but just give me your number and I'll call you later to notify you if there's a vacancy.we exchanged numbers, then I got off the matatu and crossed the road going to church at Neno Evangelism Center at railways. Most people go to church and just seat, listen to the preacher, remove their offerings and leave without even understanding the scriptures. I'm not any different from any of them since I normally find religion as a conspiracy theory that was set by a certain group of people to control others to there liking. I enjoy sitting at the front row in church though I normally let everything that's being preached move into one ear and out through the other. I was reflecting on the things that me and generally had been doing for the past couple of months (a smile came on my face and I started smiling. The pastor came toward me and stood next to me.) "Tell us brother, what makes you happy on such a day like this, would you be kind enough to share with the church please" asked pastor Ng'ang'a. I looked at him for a while and smiled again "I'm grateful to the Lord for he has done so much for me than I can say, for starters I'm alive and healthy, my wife and child are here with me and I cannot complain to the Lord for God is good all the time and all the time God is good." answered the man next to me. "Everybody say a big amen!" shouted the pastor "Amen! amen! amen!amen!"answered the congregation. " somebody please read out for me the book of matthew 21:22" said pastor Ng'ang'a.(people started pulling out bibles from their bags and started searching for the verse. I type it on my phone in the bible and then a woman read it out loud) "If you believe you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." she read ."If you believe?" asked the pastor one more time. "You will receive whatever you ask for in prayer!" answered the congregation loudly." "The lord is good?" " all the time!" (he asked and the congregation answered) "And all the time?" "God is good!" we all answered.(The pastor kept preaching for sometime then he asked for the offerings.) "Blessed is the hand that gives for it will receive more from God - I know that the money belongs to him, it's not like God needs any money or anything, but I'd rather use my money to buy weed.(We sang some hymn songs while people were offering,he prayed for the offering and then he preached for a while) "Dear Lord I bring you my sheep today thanking you for all the good things that you have done for everyone of us this past month. Today being the first Sunday of the month I pray that you may shower your children here with blessings and love. I pray that you may forgive us and forget all of our sins forever. Bless us with the spirit of understanding, love and peace. Hear me when I pray Amen!" he prayed. "Amen!" answered the congregation. "peace be with you," he said. "Peace be with you too" we answered. People greeted each other to show an act of peace and love and then we left. Being known in the streets comes with it's advantages and disadvantages, it's very hard for me to pay matatu touts as most of them know me and they find hard to ask me for money but on the other hand, the police aren't my friends but in my line of business you just have to work with them or they drop you dead in the streets of Nairobi. So until they come around asking for information I'm just stress free Famasi. In my line of work every piece of information is worth something to someone else out there.( I got off the matatu at Yaya Center and went to see generally at his place and on arrival I found him lighting up a joint.) "Ahh! Famasi rada gani mzae," he said to me."nko tu poa bradhe" I answered him. "how was church", he asked. "Church was all good." I answered him. we normally sell our loots on Sundays then we take half of the money for drinking, smoking weed and f*****g p********e's then we split the rest halfway for any personal needs. Being a Sunday I didn't have any stress because I knew that we just had to sell the phones and other gadgets that we had aqquired for the week.( we were just talking and story telling with Generally when his girlfriend came into the house and looked at me coldly.) "Hi Famasi, where are you going to look for trouble today if I may ask?" Mitchell asked rudely. Knowing women with their attitude I just looked at her and said " We'll be going to evict some tenant who hasn't paid for the past four months and he owes me a lot of money. If it is okay with you?" Generally looked at me and smiled and then he kissed mitchell and told I'll be back soon.(He went to his bedroom and came out with a bag which had all our recently stolen assets. he kissed mitchell again and we left.) We normally sell our products at River road since they normally buy very fast,repackage and then they sell them again, and besides, everything is cheaper at River road from p********e's to drinks. We boarded a matatu to River road again and went to Kammah, the guy who we normally sell our products to. When Kammah saw us he was very excited, he greeted us and welcomed us to his shop. " What assets do you have for me today?" asked Kamma. Generally opened up his bag, poured out thirteen phones, two laptops and four power banks on Kammah's table. Kammah sorted out the gadgets and then he looked at me and Generally. He went into his pocket and then he pulled out a few thousand shillings notes and counted them. "Here is your money" he said. Generally took the money from Kammah's hand and counted it very fast then he looked at me and blinked his left eye "No! no! no! what is forty seven thousand shillings, make it fifty-five thousand shillings, take it or leave it" said Generally, as he had already started returning the laptops and phones in the bag. "Let's make it Fifty?" bargained Kammah. I shook my head so as to let Generally know that I refuse. " Fifty-five, or we go to look for another client." answered Generally. (Generally carried the backpack and then we started to leave but when we got to the door, Kammah called us back and gave us another eight thousand shillings.) "Wazi mzae, ma B round" I told Kammah. (We left headed to the Streets and we crossed the road.) Generally gave me twenty five thousand for our entertainment, fifteen thousand for my personal use and he pocketed the remaining fifteen thousand shillings. After moving around the city playing pool table, we got to Luthuli avenue by seven o'clock. The big notice board outside the club was welcoming as it made the place look like paradise. "V.I.P club is the place to be" so was is written on the sign. Looking at the rising stairs corridor,you could the most angelic looking p********e's with nice figure and the loveliest smiles. I happened to set my eyes on the most beautiful girl there. (she was brown and skinny with big eyes, a medium sized nose with tender looking black lips.) and within no time I got to her and held her by the shoulder as we entered the club. "What is your name?" I asked her (She looked at me and smiled.) "Does it really matter? I thought you came for business?" she answered.(I looked at her, then at the club and I said to myself "this is a shitty place" but according to the music that was being played...) "Sit down, let me buy you a drink" I said (We headed to a table and sat then Generally with a fat Somali lady and joined us.) "Waitress! Waitress!" shouted Generally (A short brown waitress came to our stood there with a pen and notebook.) "What can I get you?" she asked. "Bring me and my friend six bottles of guinness, four bottles for the ladies and a bottle of brandy with some glasses." I ordered. "Right away sir." we said (She then left and went to the counter to collect the drinks.) "What's your name?" I asked the p********e. "Snajna" she answered back. Generally was talking to the somali hoe and they were even laughing. Snajna means sina jina which translates to nameless. From the looks of things she seamed to hard but I love it, dealing with the hot heads. The waitress brought back the drinks with five glasses and opened up a bottle of beer for everyone. We drank, partied, finished our drinks and ordered for more. The club looks awful in the inside, more like hell but they hosted heavenly parties. We later took a lodge with two beds and got in with the ladies. We have a different kind of brother hood though, where we always make sure to stick out for one another and looking out for each other mostly with p********e's since they have a tendency of driving people and stealing from them. Inside the lodge, I had snajna on my bed and generally had his somalian p********e with him too. Her small boobs could fit exactly into my hand, plus they tasted like cream. Her waist was too small that my thumbs and middle fingers touched each other. Her p***y was so sweet and tight that I could just feel she was new in the business. "ooh! ooh! don't stop please don't stop" she moaned, but her lovely voice kept pushing me not to stop as I enjoyed hear her moaning. I pushed it in upto around eleven o'clock in the PM then I asked Snajna again, "what is your name again, I can't remember?" She looked at me in the eye and said "Latifa, Latifa is my name." I paid both Latifa and the somalian three thousand shillings each and they got dressed then we all went outside. "Where to?" asked Generally."king lion sounds, home of sweet reggae music." I answered him. Walking the Streets of Nairobi at night is quite different from the day because at night is when all the vampires, snakes and parasites are up. We usually walk in the middle of the road so as to have a full scale radar of our surroundings. The pavements are normally dark from the shadow which offer a good cover for p********e's, pickpockets, armed robbers and even the police. At least in the middle of the road you can run and there's space. " Honestly speaking I don't feel like partying anymore. I just feel like relaxing and enjoying some peace and quiet with a roll in my hand," said Generally. Honestly speaking, I was also tired and also we normally don't go where we are going once we get second thoughts."We can go to my place and chill out" I said "That alright." he answered. We changed our course and headed to ambassador where we boarded a matatu. "Kibera fifty! Kibera fifty! beba! beba!" the tout kept shouting it over and over again. We're were three people in the matatu by which the other one was just an old drunk man who was dead asleep. We sat in the matatu for about an hour before it was fully loaded .The driver kept changing the mixes from reggae to RnB's, bongo to hip-hop, lingala, rhumba... It was as his he was looking for a song that he sang. To all the passengers in the matatu seemed stupid either one way or another, for instance there was this fat woman in the matatu and I didn't like her shape, a bald man wearing a pink shirt and all sorts of deranged lunatics that only God knows what. We got to kibera at around midnight then we paid the conductor a hundred shillings note and got of at Olympic stage. Honestly, I was happy to get off The matatu because I could finally breath fresh air again. We first had to go and get weed from our local peddler. Its amazing how the guy works for twenty four seven. He gave me two bags of weed costing six hundred shillings each. We left headed to my place at Olympic estate. Generally kept saying things that didn't make sense on the way. "We all go far in life but we always come back, why?" he said,"women are like bridges without borders, you can use them to get anywhere in life." I thought of what he said and I could only laugh. "Come to think of it, men wake up early in the morning going to look for money only to spend it on women." I said. We kept walking and talking about women until we got to my gate. I opened the door and we got in. I'm the kind that doesn't turn off the lights. I closed the gate, unlocked my door and then we both got into the house. Generally made himself comfortable on the chair as I took a news paper to use as a surface for sannifing the weed. We played some relaxing reggae music and talked philosophy about love, women, music and life. (Truthfully speaking, I have a problem with sleep because I believe that sleep is deaths cousin, that's according to my favorite rapper who says " na amka daily ngware juu usingizi ni cousin ya kudedi" ) there was a loud knock at my gate and I could hear my older brothers voice calling "Famasi! Famasi!" I went and opened the gate for him to come in and closed it again. "How are you guys?" he asked. "Fine thank you" we answered. I stay with my brother since he got kicked out by his landlord. "Is there anything to eat? asked Baziri. "There's some meat in the fridge but it isn't cooked." I answered him. Honestly, I was very hungry but I didn't feel like cooking supper. I gave Baziri a joint as he went to the kitchen to cook. He lit up his weed and started frying the meat. Baziri is a great cook who could do wonders with simple Ingredients. While he was cooking, we told stories of how the day had been and kept smoking more weed. Baziri brought food on a tray, put it down where we all sat down and ate. He had dry fried the meat and served it with ugali. After eating we smoked a couple of rolls before Baziri and Generally passed out. I stayed up cleaning the house and washing the utensils. When I finished I woke up Baziri and took him to bed then I brought a blanket for Generally who was sleeping on the couch. Generally doesn't sleep at his place after we f**k p********e's because he says thinks that his girlfriend would know. I later joined Baziri in bed when I got too high and tired from all the weed.