Dream of Me

I hear my mom getting ready. It's only 6am, the oldies she's blasting make me smile. Even though my heart is aching and racing in my chest, I cant help but smile. Why do I have to dream of him? The loneliness and hurt that replaces him when he leaves is almost unbearable. I try to go to sleep again just to hopefully resume where we were. We were at a weird amusement park that led to a fairy, that led us over to the next town. There was a football game this evening and we really did have to take a fairy to get to the town, but why the amusement park? I had to keep hiding from a guy. I couldn't make out his face but I had to keep losing him so I could spend time with Ashton, Humiliation and disappointment are nothing new. Ashton and our meet-ups are always after hours or on weekends when no one can see us.. It's stupid and degrading but I cant help it, I love him too much. His beauty, his humor, how soft and gentle he can be when we're together and the way he moans when he's calling me baby is almost soul-shattering. The way he makes me feel can only be described as adrenaline and how it must feel when death is close to kissing you, or so, that is what I hope it feels like. His eyes constantly taunt me.This is so typical of him. He only comes to the shoreline when he's hungry. I just wish I wasn't his type of chum. He's such a predator and I really don't think he realizes it. He is hypnotic, strong and powerful. I slipped quickly back to dream land and ran straight to him, wrapping my arms around him. I muttered "I fkn hate you". He held me closer, I said it again, this time to myself. He presses his lips to mine and I let my walls crumble just to whisper "I hate how much I love you." I'm startled awake by my best friend Ashley. She is a freaken goddess. She is tall, blonde, has a sense of style to die for and is curvy in all the right places. I on the other hand, had the chunky friend who wears t-shirt and jeans with converse. Maybe that's why he doesn't want me? I'm not pretty in the traditional sense,my hair is dark and my eyes are so brown they look like coal. Ashley is yelling at me to hurry up and get up. She's here to get me ready. I look at her with very arched eyebrows and say " WTF are you talking about". I heard "MONICA, stop cussing!" from my mom's room. Ugghhh I fall back into my comfy bed, My chest physically hurts. My whole body is still yearning for him even though its just his ghost. In my dreams his love and attention is all mine, those piercing blue eyes are always hanging on my every word, he hand always finds mine, we fit.